Posts tagged with “burial”
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“It makes no difference how long ago someone died. We are their living…

“It makes no difference how long ago someone died. We are their living relatives.” – Emma Restall Orr

I read a post by Anna the Imp, Sacred Ancestors. This is an issue I have thought about before. Mainly, is it ok (morally correct) to move, display or physically analyze historical dead bodies. At what point does respect for the dead come into scientific research?

Honouring the Ancient Dead a British initiative that advocates respect for what are commonly called ‘human remains’ and their related funereal artefacts.

This is what Ana wrote:

There was a story in the Telegraph and the Guardian yesterday concerning the display of ancient human remains in museums. They report the findings of a new book by Dr Tiffany Jones that museums are removing or partially covering mummies, skeletons and other human remains for fear of protests by neo-pagan organisations, the chief among which seems to be Honouring the Ancient Dead (HAD), an advocacy group founded by Emma Restall Orr, a neo-druid, poet and author.

There is certainly considerable sensitivity over this issue, particularly when some of the remains in question were removed from traditional burial grounds without consultation, something that might be defined as anthropological imperialism, a corollary of political imperialism. Many of these artefacts have subsequently been returned to the rightful communities

But is it right to be equally concerned over remains such as mummies and bog bodies, where no cultural or tribal continuity can be established? The examination of such things is, after all, an essential part of archaeological research, helping to establish a better understanding of the past, of past lives and past cultures.

Speaking personally I approach this question from two dimensions. As a scholar and as a historian I have to welcome anything that throws a greater light on the past, which I love. As a pagan, as an admirer of the ancient ways and ancient customs, I believe that we have to approach human remains, the remains of our ancestors, with a high degree of sensitivity. How could I possibly celebrate Samhain (Halloween) and not feel a link with the spirits of the dead, no matter how ancient?

Sensitivity, that’s the key word, to show things always in context, not to display the dead, many of whom were buried with reverence, simply to be gawped at as objects of idle curiosity. After all, how would you feel if your own ancestors were taken from consecrated ground and put on public display? Ah, but time, the removal of time, excuses such things, does it not? Perhaps, then again, perhaps not.

I've copied and posted Ana's thoughts because it's from an old blog which could disappear. I like what she wrote.

Myself, it makes me think about older photographs, movies or TV shows. Everyone is in black and white. So, we don't see them in colour, or think of them as being people who lived their lives in colour. They seem less real. Of course, logically, we know all those people lived in colour, just as we do now. But, it takes extra brain power to think of them as being people like ourselves, every day in colour, not someone from an old photograph or movie, lost in time.

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Why Not Choose Your Own Death Date?

Listening to people, family, and the media go on about your life and health as you get older, some days it feels like living with a jack-in-the-box. Any time it could pop up and that's it your time is up. I'm going to be 60 at the end of this year. I do wonder how many days I still have. I don't feel stressed about it but, I don't like it.

I wonder if there have been people who also didn't like the unknown date lurking in their future. Has anyone ever decided they didn't like the suspense and chosen their own expiry date? Not due to despair, or ill health. Just because you don't want to leave it random and unknown.

I don't think its suicide. It's not a decision made due to sadness, or ill health. I don't think its morbid either. Younger people may see it that way. Your experience is different. But, unless immortality becomes an option, I think its entirely reasonable.

Compare it to doctors deciding a birth date for babies by scheduling a caesarian for women. They don't know what the real birth date would have been, if the baby had been left in the womb until it made its own way, in its own time. I think choosing your own death date would be the same really.

You could have all your affairs in order, make sure your will is done right, write instructions for your funeral, burial, or whatever you want done with your leftover body. Decide where your possessions go, are distributed, knowing there isn't much of anything you can take with you. Spend that extra time with family and friends you've kept meaning to visit but didn't make time for. If you are a bucket list person, finish your list. Find a good spot and plant a tree! Otherwise, do those things you'd like to have done, travel to those places you would have liked to see, knowing your plan for how many days you've decided you have left.

In the end, you might choose to extend the date. There would be not reason you couldn't. That alone would be a good reason not to tell anyone else about what you're doing and the cut off date. Who wants someone reminding you about it. You might change your mind entirely. But, if you wanted to stick to your date and not keep waiting for it to come along and happen to you - why shouldn't a person take their own fate in their own hands and choose their last day for themselves?

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Would You Have a Living Wake?

A living wake can bring peace of mind to the elderly or the seriously sick/ ill. A living wake brings everyone together to hear last words and share loving words and thoughts of their own.

A traditional wake was meant to celebrate the life of the newly deceased. A living wake should be the same. Bring everyone together to remember and to celebrate while the guest of honour is still able to partake, enjoy and share memories too.

A living wake is a get together with family, friends, co-workers and anyone else you choose to invite to your pre-death wake. You have a living wake while you are still alive. This gives everyone a chance to bring the flowers, food and good bye wishes before you are actually deceased and can no longer appreciate them or give thanks for them.

I've always thought it was sad that the funeral was only for the living family and friends. The deceased doesn't get to see the flowers or hear what people say about them. A living wake lets everyone share the memories, thoughts and happier times while the family member or friend is still alive.

It is still not an easy event to attend. It will still be sad. But, it gives everyone to share their appreciation and love while it can still be heard.

A living wake can also be good for someone who is afraid of dying. Even if there is no reason for them to have this fear. The living wake gets everyone together so they can feel they have not left anything undone, no words unsaid. They can take time to plan it, decide who will attend and plan out their own speech to give to all the family and friends in attendance.

I don't think a living wake should become an annual event, that would take away it's specialness and it's purpose, but a living wake can bring peace of mind to the elderly or the sick.

Planning a Living Wake

Don't be afraid to have a good time.

If the guest of honour has always loved dancing and music make sure that is a big part of the event and get people up dancing. Maybe the guest of honour likes humour, in that case consider turning the event into a roast where each family member and friend gets a few minutes to make a speech roasting the guest of honour. Maybe there is a particular sport or handmade craft which everyone can participate in and play or create together.

You will know the best theme for your own group. Keep in mind, a wake was never meant to be depressing, people celebrated the life of the deceased.

  • Send invitations early. Give people time to plan what they will wear, what they will say, etc.
  • Make sure the invitations explain what the party is for, what will be expected and what the plan is for the event.
  • RSVP is essential for this party. Make sure this is highlighted on the invitations. Anyone who is unable to attend should arrange to send a letter or have another guest bring a video to be played at the living wake in their place.
  • Create a collage of photographs and make a video with clips from the past.
  • If someone has created a family tree ask to enlarge it to poster-size and display it. Not only nice for family but friends will understand where the family fit in as they meet them.
  • Moderate how much alcohol is being consumed. If people want to drink a lot let it be later in the event, once everyone has had time to be heard and to listen.
  • Don't let it get too gloomy. Include reminders of happy memories, funny memories and memorabilia.
  • Encourage everyone to bring the flowers, greeting cards and such they would have brought to a funeral. That's part of the reason for having a living wake.
  • Get a great cake, or make one if you can. Use candles, celebrate all the past birthdays.
  • Serve all the favourite foods of the guest of honour. Start with favourite breakfast, then favourite appetizer, favourite salad, etc, right up to favourite dessert.
  • This probably isn't the best time to discuss a will or distribution of assets. But, it is a good time for the guest of honour to give their favourite things to family and friends while they are around to talk about what each favourite thing has meant to them and why they want that person to have it.
  • Have a quiet room for anyone who needs to breakaway for a bit and have time to themselves. Not everyone wants to share their sadness.
  • Have a guest book for everyone to sign. Give them space for comments. Encourage them to add anything they have written but didn't want to share publicly, with everyone.
  • Get at least one group photo, with everyone gathered around. Have disposable cameras on hand in case someone didn't bring their own or doesn't have a camera.