Create yourself as the ultimate villain. How do you look? Where do you live? What do you drive or get around on if not using a vehicle? What's the backstory behind your wickedness and dark deeds? What kind of evil do you do?

I can think of a lot of things I'd rather be doing than going to work today. Here are just 13 in no particular order...

1. Being kidnapped for a romantic evening with someone I like even though he has awful bad breath and an oozing sore on his back.

2. Finding a winning lottery ticket even though it expired last week.

3. Shopping in my favourite bookstore, even after realizing I forgot my wallet at home and can't buy anything.

4. Eating chocolate on chocolate cheesecake even if it means I will gain 20 pounds.

5. Backpacking through Europe even though I get chased by wild dogs halfway through the trip and never do get past Venice.

6. On a fancy, luxurious woodland retreat, all expenses paid... even though the blackflies try to eat me alive each time I step outside.

7. Being given a free year of Second Cup lattes even though I have to sit through several hours of a telemarketing time share scam first.

8. Getting up close to the wild cats in the zoo, really getting to pet them and feel all that fur... though at some point one of the cougars gets a bit too friendly and I almost lose an eye.

9. Finding a bag full of cash even though when I take it home to count (over $100,000!) there's a deadly poisonous lizard at the bottom of the bag and I have to drag myself to the hospital for the anti venom or die in agony.

10. Riding a real, live dragon which I get to be friends with and travel around the world, free.... as long as I can hang on... it's a really, really long way down.

11. Decorating a house of my own, my dream house and yard, even though it's on right beside a really busy subway station in downtown Toronto where all kinds of litter blows into my precious yard.

12. Having my first book published and get a lot of great media attention but still flop mightily cause Oprah said she didn't care for it all that much.

13. A free visit to the dentist, have all the work I need done free, for as long as I can sit in the chair while he drills into my head.

I think work is starting to sound better after that dentist thing... Hi Ho.. Hi Ho... It's off to work I go....

Happy Thursday Thirteen!

BlogTalkers: When was the last time you were afraid? What scared you? And how did you conquer your fears as a child? How do you conquer your fears today? What scares you the most? Do you have nightmares? If so, what are they? What was the most bizarre nightmare you've ever had? What was the most bizarre nightmare anyone has ever told you?

I'm still afraid of the dark. It's silly but true. Last night doing laundry in the basement I had to go down into the dark room and feel around the corner for the light switch. Just a bit creepy to reach out into the dark. My other worst nightmares were around the time I was immigrating to the US and marrying down there. I dreamed all my hair and teeth were falling out.

My worst nightmares have been where the devil came to see me. Kind of funny cause I don't believe in hell or the devil. But it was the scariest, most real feeling dream I ever had. I had the same kind of dream twice, different locations where he was wearing different clothes and faces.

I try not to have fears about things like spiders, toads, etc. Those are all such little things, fun kind of things to be afraid of when you think of the really big things out there. I'm afraid I will die an old wretched bag lady, alone and without a roof over my head. I'm afraid I won't ever have a real place of my own to feel and be at home. Those are real things to be afraid of. Spiders just don't have much on that.

Blog Talkers: Annoyed. What annoys you? What do you do that annoys other people? Are you quick to lose your temper? How often do you get annoyed? Do you have a short fuse? Tell us about the last time you were annoyed - REALLY annoyed.

I have a short fuse when I'm already frustrated or feeling trapped by someone or some thing. I very rarely get really angry. The last time was about 2 years ago.

I don't talk about anger much. I grew up being told I was just being too sensitive or blowing things out of proportion so I just stopped getting angry. I try not to let anything of negative feelings show at all whether it's anger or sadness, etc. In life it seems you are really only allowed to be happy and pleasing to others. Anything less is your fault and you have to deal with it alone.

Sometimes I have my blog as an outlet for my feelings. But, in reality I am either outgoing and social or just very quiet.

Blog Talkers: Joke. What is a joke to you? What do you find funny? Do you appreciate a good practical joke, or do you think practical jokes are cruel? What is the best joke you've ever played on someone. What is the best joke you've ever heard?

To me a joke is something that makes you laugh. Not everyone laughs out loud, even a soft secret laugh is a big deal for some people. Just as big as a belly laugh that floods the room with sound from someone else.

I laugh at something clever, something real like day to day things that happen to everyone. Finding humour in the ordinary is a real skill. Bringing a new slant to the ordinary is always great.

Practical jokes are a little cruel. It all depends on how everyone reacts after the punchline. It's not funny if someone is put on the spot of pretending they're laughing on the outside and not hurt on the inside. It's not really funny to pick on someone else. It's also far too easy.

I don't remember jokes. I guess when it comes to jokes and humour I just live in the moment.