It's been awhile since I updated this page. There's not going to be any happy ending to the story for those that like to read 'Once upon a time' type things. Todd decided he wants a divorce and since you can't really have a marriage by yourself I agreed.

Anyway, as far as I know we have heard nothing from the INS about our final (greencard) interview. I'm not staying in the US, I want to go home. I need to start my life all over again, move all over again and figure out a lot of personal stuff. My family are angry about the whole situation. Sometimes I'm angry, most of the time I guess I'm just depressed, sort of empty and drained.

Good luck to the other Canadians going through this. I was going to just take my page down but it might be good for everyone to know it's not a fairy tale at the end of the rainbow. You might just step into a pile of something you need to scrape off your shoe.

The Writer

Writing and publishing online and still putting in time on my regularly scheduled life.

I was born in the Year of the Dragon, more than a few years ago. 2000 was another year of the Dragon, in December I married Todd, moved to the US and became an expatriate. I work as a freelance writer online and in print. My favourite colour is deep, dark red. When I'm having a bad day going outdoors always makes me feel better. I'm reading the same book I started 6 months ago: Sarum by Edward Rutherfurd. I'm not especially musically inclined, I can turn on the radio and be happy leaving it in the background.

"One who says it can not be done, should not interrupt one doing it." Chinese proverb.

posted by Laura T. at 10/3/2001 07:55:48 AM

Found some ornament making projects on a felt makers site. I really like to make Christmas ornaments. posted by Laura T. at 10/3/2001 07:57:47 AM

I'm still here in Ontario, Canada. Or back here. I went to Montreal for the MosaicCulture plant sculpture show. We also saw the botanical gardens. My favourites were the Canadian exhibits, although the Chinese dragons were great to see. I took pictures, as many as I could with the disposable camera. Its such a shame I forgot mine back in Illinois. posted by Laura T. at 9/8/2001 03:41:29 PM

The Ex was good. Not as great as when I was a kid going down there with my brother and sisters. So much is commercial now and very little free stuff for kids or adults. I bought some things for the husband back in Illinois. Its his money so he should get something from it. :) I bought a couple of small things for myself and a lovely angel/ fairy for the Christmas tree. posted by Laura T. at 8/24/2001 02:20:12 PM

Its been awhile since I last wrote. I'm typing from my parent's home in Toronto, Canada now. I'm here to get the dead zone computer fixed. IBM is still finding ways to do nothing.

Anyway, tonight I read a quote I liked from Evhead's blog "To be an artist is a personality/ attitude/ spirit - not an occupation." Evhead.

I'm writing for BackWash now, 2 or 3 journal entries a week so far. I'm going to start a second one for BackWash Kids.

The ASCII Art column for WZ.com isn't going anywhere soon. They seem to be too busy to approve new entries. Todd has been waiting a long time for his to get off the ground. I write to the editor and get things done but its a very slow process. Makes the prospects slim for promoting it. How can you go wild promoting something that isn't there yet.

Just the opposite of HerPlanet where its only because of me that the site isn't already up and active. I'm looking forward to having that one (HerCorner) going. There is so much I can do with it and so many web writers I can help get the confidence to start.

Anyway, I think this will be it for now. I want to get to sleep for all that walking at The Ex tomorrow. posted by Laura T. at 8/22/2001 10:22:21 PM

Found a weblog I like today, Poundy. She even lives somewhere in the midwest. I'm sticking the URL here so I won't forget where I found the site. Doesn't look like anyone is actually reading this blog. It doesn't matter a lot. But it would be nice to have my moment of fame. lol

Talked to my Mom this morning. Graham, my brother, is on his way down here from Toronto. He is going to stay awhile, be here for Todd's birthday this weekend and then I will go back with him and get my money back for the dead computer. I think that is the best way to do things, still not sure entirely. But if I get the money back there will hopefully be enough to buy another new computer here on the US side of the border this time. I went to look at a couple of sites. Gateway seems the best way to go, too bad the closest store is about a hundred miles away in St Louis. Maybe Todd would consider making a trip of it. Though it might mean waiting as long as my birthday, Christmas and wedding anniversary in December. Still, if I can access the net and my HerPlanet site using Todd's computer that won't be too bad. Of course its a pain not having my own computer. I fee like an online transient.Suite 101 is having a really great event now. I think they could have done better in picking links but that they did it at all is pretty impressive. Oddly enough, its the same idea I had for a column. Full-Figured Women: Healthy Mind & Body. posted by Laura T. at 8/2/2001 12:32:21 PM

The Coffee Ring is a blog from a Canadian woman planning her wedding. Nice to read about someone else going through all that, especially when its not me!!

Another site I've ben keeping an eye on is BackWash, the internet organized by personality. I'd enjoy doing a column there but I just don't think I can handle the time commitment. You have to write a fairly good sized article and then add links (not related to your column or each other). That's quite a chunk of time for something you don't get paid for. I don't begrudge them not paying I just think I should put that kind of time into something that pays or has prospects of paying. posted by Laura T. at 8/2/2001 01:00:25 PM

SheBazzle: Julie's Motherhood Journal. This is a good blog, anyone with a scanner or digital camera does have an edge in blogging. Todd hinted that he is getting me a scanner for my birthday/ Christmas. I'll have to get all those pictures developed finally! I'd love to have a scanner. posted by Laura T. at 8/2/2001 01:08:43 PM

I like the name Darla for a girl. Maybe its too girly but I still like it. I hope Todd and I have at least one kid. Two or three would be a lot better, at least two anyway. I don't think Todd wants to, he certainly isn't co-operating sperm wise. I don't know what my life will be like if I never have a kid. It just seems to be the meaning of life, something I can contribute to my ancestors and life, the future and everything. Its important to me personally, I want to raise a child, a person. I want to pass on my thoughts, genes and good and bad times. I want to be part of the world and show another new person all that the world is. There is so much amazing stuff in the world. Not everyone can see it, sometimes they forget to look or forget how to look. posted by Laura T. at 8/2/2001 01:14:28 PM

I'm having a creative day. I made two new ASCII pictures and wrote book reviews for HerCorner. Still waiting for the ezine to be approved for the WZard site. The URL has my byline up already. The editor is just busy with a lot of other new WZards/ writers. Looking forward to seeing my site up and functioning.

The Zeal directory is a mess. I can't see myself putting in any more time there. Its not listed by topics but by country. Which just makes no sense and is bordering on annoying since everything is listed under United States really. Just a little too US centric for this Canadian. posted by Laura T. at 7/27/2001 04:31:55 PM

My computer died on June 27th. I just realized its been a month to the day. We finally found out that its the motherboard that needs to be replaced. I will have to take the computer back home with me when I go to Toronto for Sarah's wedding. It will be great to have my computer back and working again. I miss all my files! Its been terrific of Todd to let me use his computer for checking email and the odd bit of stuff I can still do without my hard drive and its contents. Sarah came up with the idea of transplanting my hard drive into Todd's computer but I can see that Todd is reluctant to allow this brain surgery. So it looks like I will have to hope my hard drive survives another trip back and forth to Toronto. Its about 17 hours on the bus, with a 4-5 hour wait in Chicago. Not a lot of fun. Also, for going there I will need to go to the INS building and get the advanced parole. I will be so glad when I'm finally free, or at least a bit free. The only time anyone is really free is when they are a baby. At the time don't really know it and would likely laugh at anyone who said it. They likely wouldn't consider themselves free, can't do anything they see everyone doing. Must be boring being a baby. Time to get ready to go out tonight. I'm really hungry, skipped lunch. We planned to go to the Chinese buffet tonight so I won't be hungry for long. :) posted by Laura T. at 7/27/2001 04:56:18 PM

Still no computer for me. Todd doesn't want to put my hard drive into his computer. He hasn't said that but he hasn't done anything about doing it. I would do it but its his computer and if he doesn't want to do it, that's up to him. Sarah put up pictures from her birthday BBQ, online. Great to see everyone, wish I was there. posted by Laura T. at 7/20/2001 08:22:26 AM

Here is something I wrote last night. Todd and I had a bad night. Not that he knows about it. I feel like I'm in too deep and the little light at the end of the tunnel is just my imagination. If I try to get to it, it just won't be there. I can't feel motivated. I used to think it was because I was afraid of putting a foot wrong. But now I think its more than that. I think I'd rather do nothing than try anything. Its easier to put nothing, to invest as small a part of myself, my knowledge, talents, personality, etc into whatever the end result will be. Knowing its far more likely that I will hear I've done something the wrong way, not enough, etc. posted by Laura T. at 7/20/2001 08:29:59 AM

I wish I could find my old backscratcher. My shoulder blades are almost always itchy. I've read that itchy skin is caused by dead skin cells needing to be scraped off. I'm not sure that's right. Why am I always itchy in the same spots then and not in others. Just another of those little things. I'm about to go make coffee and get dressed. Hopefully I will hear from someone with good news about my computer. The only thing we've made progress with is to find out that its the motherboard that needs to be replaced. posted by Laura T. at 7/20/2001 08:33:19 AM

Today is the big day at Zeal. They launch the new site, merged with LookSmart. Once I have my coffee on the go I'm going to have a look and see if my login still works. posted by Laura T. at 7/20/2001 08:35:14 AM

Todd and I went to St Louis for the fingerprinting this past Wednesday. It was a lot of travel for me because I just got back from visiting my family in Toronto on Monday afternoon. I've certainly had enough road trips for awhile. Well, maybe for a couple of weeks. ;)

Fingerprinting was no problem. It took us longer to actually find the right building than it did to be fingerprinted. It was all done on a computer screen. No messy ink on my fingers. We stayed a few days in St Louis. Todd had the week off. It was great to be swimming each day and have little trips around town. We saw the Science Centre but were too tired of all the walking to make it to the Historical Museum as well. Next trip for that.

It sounds like we should be able to get our file transferred to the St Louis office instead of Chicago. A difference of 4 hours driving each way.

Anyway, that's all the INS news. I'm studying Lotus Notes now. It pays much better than freelance writing or any clerical work. Tomorrow I'm going to the local mall to apply at stores.

I'm in my parents home typing this, obviously I got the parole. It was a journey of many steps though.

First of all, I had a money order for $100 and they would not accept it. The fee was $95 (not according to the website) and luckily they would take a personal cheque. On the website it also says they will not take cash or cheques. The website is an ornamental decoration, pretty much ignore it.

Next, I needed more papers than I had been prepared for. If you have something which shows your reason for going back to Canada bring it along. It wasn't a problem not having anything but its something they ask for on the form you fill out when you had over the money. I wrote a note (luckily I had a notebook to rip a page out of) about going for my sister's wedding.

Next thing, bring quarters for the photocopier or bring photocopies of your green receipt page and your passport with the I94 page. For some reason we had a discrepancy with the dates between the expiration of the k1 visa and the date we got the EAD card. She said it wasn't a problem but she did check all my dates.

Once you get through all of the line ups and handing over of paperwork you wait for the agent/ clerk (what are they called anyway?) to take your file and review your case. She came back and asked me about something small and I don't remember what it was now. Nothing dramatic. The oddest and the luckiest thing that happened that day at the INS was that by pure chance and Irish luck I had our wedding certificate with me. I had just impulsively tucked it into my purse to show my Mom when I saw her here. That was what the INS agent wanted to see and take a photocopy of before granting me the parole.

I really had no trouble getting the parole, just frustrations with things not being what we had expected. I was there over 4 hours. My brother waiting down below in the car to finish driving me home to Toronto.

The parole I got is good for a year with multiple re-entries. What I actually have is enough for three as far as I can tell. Maybe multiple means just three or if I want them I can ask for more. Three is likely enough anyway. I plan to be back in the US early in September. I'd like to come back to visit my family in the Spring when the trilliums are blooming. They don't have any trilliums down here in southern Illinois, Todd has never even heard of them. :)

Todd and I had a five hour train trip to Chicago to get the EAD. With taxis, hotel and etc we spent at least $300. We left Sunday evening to get there for the 8:30 AM appointment on Monday. This is the first time I've had an appointment and wasn't at all worried about anything. We got to the right building, on Jackson Street, took a cab there. Cabs were in short supply, the one we phoned was going to be half an hour. While outside waiting another one dropped someone off and I snagged it. Even then we were just in time to get there for the doors opening. There was a huge line, two blocks down one street and around the corner. We found out our appointment letter was a get out of line sooner card. The security people came along and asked who has an appointment. Then they told us to go ahead and get in. Went through the security check. In Montreal the checked through my purse and had us empty pockets. There they just xrayed all our bags (purse and overnight bag) and had us walk through the metal detector. No problem. Todd was cautious because he thought the security would be a bit tighter on the day Timothy McVeigh was executed.

Anyway, we took an escalator up to the second floor, ignored the line there and went through the glass doors to an opened room where we handed over our appointment letter and were told to sit and wait. Familiar territory, eh?

I was in the second group called up. The first batch had an 8:00 appointment which didn't mean much since the building wasn't open until 8:30. Its just a way of sorting people out once they get inside. I was called up and they said they needed the green letter with the yellow receipt and a drivers license or other photo ID. I didn't have a drivers license but Todd and I had recently gotten the photo ID for the state. It looks almost the same as the drivers license card. That was fine. I checked my name and address on their paper thing and I signed my name. I still have to think to sign my married name, still have to remember its me when someone calls me by it too.

Next, a fingerprint, smudged and yet another ear picture. I actually asked the woman taking the picture what the deal is with all these ear pictures. She said she didn't know. But she was rushed as they were pushing everyone through the process pretty quick. I went back to sit with Todd in the waiting area.

They called me up to pick up the card in about 2 minutes. I went up as they were calling up the next batch of people for ID checking. In the instructions of what to bring they had asked for the marriage license and some other things but none were asked for, only the photo ID and green and yellow receipt.

After that we were out of there. Todd wanted to go back to the hotel until our train at 4:00. But I really wanted to get to the bookstore where I hoped Jane was still working. I wasn't sure she was still there but we went anyway. Walked part way and then got lost and took a cab. Jane was lovely, even bought me a good coffee. Todd laughs about good coffee, he doesn't understand. :) It was wonderful meeting Jane and chatting about her trip and her INS experiences. Thanks for the coffee Jane. :)

Hope this helps someone else. I can't think of any other details to add. We got back late on Monday night. Todd loved the train trip. I was just glad to see the end of it. lol