Is there something about getting older that I find myself looking for shortcuts. To make things simpler, less complicated and less trouble. Or, is it the loss of confidence, maybe bravado, from being older. I can remember being reckless (I've tended to caution, not a big dare devil all my life) enough to open my computer and fix it myself, things like that, in my younger years. Was it confidence or trust or that feeling of invulnerability that people say young people have. I don't know. These days, I look for shortcuts.

Maybe its the idea or feeling that I just don't have as much time. I'm 59 now. Since December. Turning 50 was a big deal for me. Now 60 is coming around the corner, assuming I get there, and I don't feel too bad about it. Still seems an odd surprise, even though I can count past 60 even as far as being mathematically correct. The surprise is finding myself this old. I wasn't born this way. I used to be much younger and I looked different too.

Younger people look at me and assume I've always looked this way. I can remember thinking the same, even though it isn't logical, about people when I was younger. Look at old photographs and you imagine everyone living in black and white with (mostly) dour expressions. It's hard to think of them as real people in colour. But, real life has always been in colour. Its only technology that couldn't show it that way, at the time. We rely too much on technology, far too much as time goes on.

Anyway, shortcuts, to stay on topic. The more time I spend looking for shortcuts the more I think about the time I've wasted looking for shortcuts that I usually end up rejecting and I could have been actually making real progress, without shortcuts. (There's a good run on sentence for you, and I'm not changing it).

I was peeling carrots and I asked my nephew to get me a kettle to put them into. He said it was a pot. I didn't really care what he wanted to call it. Just get it so I can make dinner. I was visiting at his house, his Mother's house. But he went on about it, correcting me.

In fact, I still don't know which is perfectly correct and I don't very much care. I will still, likely, say pot or kettle and mean the same thing. The word is trivial, the meaning was pretty clear.

But he was hung up on the nuance of pot versus kettle. He was not helping me peel carrots, potatoes or get dinner cooking. Which mattered more? I think he would have figured out the lack of importance in the nuance if he had no dinner.

But, a lot of people seem to get hung up on trivial things, like nuances these days.

I do think the word matters and getting it correct matters, but it depends on the circumstances. There are times when communication needs to be clear, when communication is very important and there are times when you just want something to boil the carrots in.

In our culture it is very alienating to be 50. That age where it hits you that you may not even be middle aged now. Being young, from childhood to somewhere in the 30's was such a different perspective. I didn't see it then but I can see it now. Being in my 40's was (so far) the best time of life for me. I felt ok and even good sometimes. I felt I was ok with myself.

Then, among the years I should have been 40-something, 50 hit me. It came down hard and clouded everything. Even when I could have been happy being 40-something that 50 hung over me, hovering like my personal rain cloud of doom.

In younger years I had read about actresses and such who said there were no roles for older women. I thought little of it. I could see older women in TV shows, movies, commercials, etc. Likely they were in theatre too if I cared to look.

But, the actresses said it wrong. It's not that there aren't roles for older women. It's that there are so MANY roles for younger women, younger people.

Our culture is based on youth. Not just being young and looking it, but the parts of life which come in those younger years (traditionally): going to school, dating, marrying and having children. When I watch anything on TV now I am swarmed with the feeling of how much I don't belong. How far I am past those parts of life. I don't want to go back. I just want to be ok with where I am. But, it's hard.

It's hard to feel ok with being older when it seems we don't exist, are expected to keep to ourselves and not be seen or heard. Unless it's something to do with spending money like buying insurance, buying sedate vacations, buying pee pads (not for your period, whether you still get it or not).

I feel alienated in my own world. I don't see where I fit in. I can talk to the younger generations. I don't know their particulars any more: the music, the actors, etc. But, those are just entertainment. I know about life, having come through those younger years. But all my experience and knowledge is tainted by how younger people see me. I'm old. I don't know the entertainment stuff so I'm relegated to being outdated, out of place and I don't really understand how things are today.

Odd, but things aren't all that different. People are born, go to school, try to get along in the world, get married, have babies (or not) and then.... it's the long stretch of being there, but not getting in the way, until you're finally as old as you feel.

I don't feel old. I feel like me. I feel almost the same as I did when I was twenty. But, those are memories and I know that. No wonder we tend to look at the past more as we fall into the future where we don't fit in and don't have a place. In the past we had a place and the world was about us.

Now I'm an alien. Just because I'm 50.

If it weren't for the perception of others (and my own awareness of time limits) I could believe I'm twenty. Young people expect being older to feel so different. It's not. It's almost exactly the same as feeling twenty. But, I look at those who are twenty and I can see a difference then. There is a shiny new-ness, an extra bounce and they're just a bit quicker to laugh.

So maybe we do become an alien as we get older. Where is the mothership then? I'd like to find the other aliens and feel I belong again. I don't like this feeling of being isolated among all the people I see every day.

The other thing I don't like to think about is to look past myself and see those older than I am. Right now I may not feel I belong and I may feel like an alien... they look more alien. I worry about how I will still feel like myself when I start to look even less like myself and more alien to who I think I am.

Where is that mothership...?

I am a dragon, by birthdate, we are supposed to have a hoard of treasure. I'm sure that's how I seem to end up surrounded by piles of stuff, all kept in one special room. Unfortunately it's also my bedroom, work room, computer room and living room. All one room because I only have one room to myself in the house. It's also my storage room, but that's pretty obvious.

My family think I'm keeping too much stuff, that I'm just not putting things away, etc. They don't say the word, hoarder, but I do. Usually just to myself because no one wants to be a hoarder, especially not after seeing some of the worst case scenarios on TV.

I read that a couple of the signs that you may be a hoarder are having clutter around you in piles, especially paper things. Another sign is that you buy storage containers and other methods of storing things and yet you still have more stuff which you need to store. I do buy storage things and I use some of them. Some don't work out as I hoped but I don't take them back - they get added to the clutter cause I might find a use for them. To be fair, sometimes I do, but a lot of the time I don't.

Tidy Your Books and Reward Yourself with Bookends

Why Do We Keep Stuff?

We keep things we think we will need to use later. Or, things we plan to use later. But, later takes a long time to come, a bit too often.

We can't decide on what to keep, what to get rid of (or give away/ recycle) so we keep everything. Trying to be a perfectionist and have everything we could ever need for any reason.

We have a sentimental attachment to a thing or a memory from that thing and we don't want to let it go, in case we forget. (In this case I have learned to take a photo of it and post it on my blog, keep it on the computer hard drive or a DVD disk).

Stop Procrastinating - Start Motivating

Don't keep procrastinating. Find yourself some motivation and begin dealing with your hoard today. My motivation is that I'm just sick of dealing with all this stuff. It's taking over too much of my personal space and I'm really tired of moving stuff out of my way. There isn't much here that's really worth the frustration of dealing with it all every day.

Pick apart something smaller from the mass. Don't put pressure on yourself, expecting to succeed in dealing with all of it in one day.

The other day I tidied up my computer desk (just a bit late for Clean Off Your Desk Day) and the area around it. I got mostly everything moved off or out of the way but a lot of it really had no where to go from there. Some things were easy, like hair clips and a vitamin bottle. They have other places they can be put away.

Next up are clothes and the clothes closet. There are clothes I won't wear or don't fit (for size or style reasons) and I shouldn't be keeping them. It's not easy to make hard decisions about clothes, some of them have been around long enough that I remember something nice happening when I wore that sweater, etc. But, it's really just a sweater, with a few holes in it. I don't even want to wear it out any more.

That's my plan for the day. I'm going to stop writing now and get to it. When I finish writing this post I will (hopefully) have that much done and have given myself that much more space and breathing room (not to mention walking room).

Of course, the bigger job is still left... all that hoard of paper and books. But, that will be another day.

A Tidy Desk Can be Rewarded with a Desk Set

Keep the Hoard from Coming Back (or Ever Starting)

When Bringing Stuff In...

Before you even buy something new (or bring something new home) consider whether you really need it or just want it. Is it worth spending money on, do you have the money to spend on it? Are you going to use it, or just leave it somewhere and forget about it?

Get in to the habit of not bringing in more than you need. Don't bring in something new unless you have used up or finished with something old. You won't have a hoard if you keep a balance of stuff in and stuff out.

Put Your Stuff Away...

Don't leave things packed in bags when you bring them home. Begin using them (something like a replacement part) or put them away where they need to be right away, not later.

Put things away once they are used. Or, after they are washed from being used. Get into the habit of not leaving the small tidying up for later and it won't build into a much bigger job over time.

When you finish a job, like laundry, making and having dinner, home repairs, etc. don't consider the job to be finished until you have done the clean up and put away your tools. Don't leave the clean up for later - later might be later than you think.

Be sensible about putting things away. Things you use together can be put away together. Especially basics like shampoo, toothpaste - things you would use in the bathroom should be kept together in the bathroom. This will make everything easier to find and quicker for you to get things done without looking for the things you need (if they were scattered around in different places).

Don't use more than a minimum amount of space for storage. If you go over the space you have, make some decisions about the stuff you are storing. How much of it do you really need? When did you last actually use it? Could you use something else you already have instead?

Don't Keep Too Much Stuff...

Become a recycler. Live by the 3 R's: recycle, reuse and reduce. I also like the fourth R - repurpose. It's about using what you have to make what you need, usually changing it to suit a new purpose. With anything paper especially, recycle it - don't keep it longer than you really need it. Don't build up piles of paper into mountains of paper.

Keep a donation box or bag around, probably in a closet. Once a month, plan to donate books to the second hand bookstore, clothes to the thrift stores, unwanted gifts to a charity, etc. This is a great way to let you keep a balance of old things going out and new things coming in.

That Girl ran for five seasons, 1966 to 1971. At the time Ann Marie was the first career girl/ woman, living as a single, independent woman. The show starred Marlo Thomas as Ann Marie and Ted Bessell as Donald Hollinger.

Marlo Thomas wanted a show where where the main character was a modern young woman focused on her own goals. Originally, she wanted the show to be called Miss Independence which was the nickname given to her by her own parents.

After the feminist protest against bras and other feminine products from the Miss America pageant in 1968, Marlo Thomas went braless on That Girl.

The Story of Ann Marie, That Girl

The show begins as Ann Marie leaves her home in Brewster, New York and moves to Manhattan, planning to become an actress. She moves into apartment 4-D at 344 West 78th Street, New York City. She gets an agent who wants her to change her name. However, her parents don't like this and Ann decides to keep her own name. A lot of the show was not about Ann bulldozing her way through but about how she could listen, compromise and yet still be true to her own heart and goals.

Each week the show follows the story of Ann, her friends and neighbours in the apartment building and others she meets in between places. Also, her boyfriend, Donald Hollinger, a reporter for Newsview magazine. In between auditions and acting classes she takes odd and part time jobs. Donald and Ann meet during the filming of a TV commercial she is in.

Ann and Donald dated and then were engaged but there was no happy ending because the show was cancelled before they were married. Marlo Thomas wanted the show to end on a high note so Ann and Donald never married during the final season because Marlo Thomas did not want to send the message that the end goal for every woman should be to get married, as if that were the reason the show could now end.

A pioneer those days, That Girl was one of the first TV shows about a single woman living and working on her own. Before Mary Tyler Moore Show or Murphy Brown, That Girl portrayed women as career women who could still be feminine and fashionable.

I Remember Marlo Thomas as That Girl

I don't know how I have such strong memories of watching That Girl. I was born at the end of 1964 so I would have been about two years old when it started. But, I do remember it well. I remember her clothes, I remember her voice and I remember always managing to work things out by the end of each show.

Later in my own life, when I was on the Internet and wanted a login name I could use online for all kinds of sites and not feel silly about, I picked That Grrl. A modern, digitally correct version of That Girl. I still use That Grrl, or thatgrrl, on almost every site I begin an account online.