If someone (your finance himself, not his family) is saying he hates you, pretty much blames you for what is happening, claims you do not support him when you feel you are doing your best... GET OUT!!! Save yourself. IF it works out for him - then - he can choose to come back to you. Meanwhile, you can not save him. This is something he can only do by himself, for himself. You can try to martyr yourself but NO ONE will thank you for it. Get out now, get your life back. This path is not at all sustainable for you. Save yourself! Give all your care to someone who wants it, wants YOU. You can not save this man. He is not even being nice or appreciating you. Yes, it will be very hard to leave, to break away from your past with him but for your own future you need to remove yourself from a situation that is likely to get worse. The only part of this you can control is YOU! Do yourself a favour, don't hang on hoping, get out before you feel even more grief and sadness. Having typed all that, I'm not expecting you will take my advice but I really hope you do, can. You can not save a man from himself, you can only save yourself and that is hard enough to do.

Wrote this comment to a woman on Facebook who thinks she can save a man she was set to marry (somehow). He is now very likely to die of liver failure due to alcohol abuse over many years. He is telling her he hates her, blaming her for where he is in his life, etc. You likely know the drill.

Will she save herself and get out from under this bad relationship? Not much chance is there. Women, some women, think they owe the world a favour, try to save people (especially men), and hopefully will at least live to regret it. Not all of them get out of these situations alive.

I think you can't save yourself from an abusive relationship without FIRST stopping your own self abuse. People/ women need to see their own self abuse in this and stop it. Women who flock to this kind of abuse are really abusing themselves. It is a very bad choice. Make a different one.

I'm coming to think that caring about things (people, places, things in general) is a weakness. Maybe something like chocolate and the longing for something soothing, smooth and lush. I think that's too poetical. But, its the idea. Somehow we/ I think caring for things will bring me something good back. A feeling of having done well, or right, or good. Making the world a better place - but for who?

Caring for anything seems to be a trap. The things you care for will betray you in some way. Not always deliberately in a straight and easy to see line. But, along the way, your care will trap you and you will be abandoned. The things you care about will be thought useless baggage by others and eventually you will begin to feel let down by all of them. Not their fault, they are just things: books, art, collections, all of those things. The people will stop finding value in your caring and in yourself. You're old and should be invisible. Your care was useful at one time but now you're just in the way, lagging along like a weight, or a duty. The places you care about will go on without you. They will change, grow, die, without anything from you. Caring is costly, you lose power, energy and space.

Does any of this make sense? I don't think it matters because I'm an old woman now and my great super power is invisibility. I care you not.

This is what I sent to CBC this morning. I noticed typos after I sent it, of course. I tried to check it over before.

What I really do want to know is - who is in our jails if not people who commit serious crimes causing harm to the public? Who is in jail and why? Is there any kind of survey or something like that about people in jail and the reason given for them being there?

If you know of someone in jail in Ontario, or Canada, do you know the charge they were given - the charge which caused them to be in jail? I'd like to know if most of the people in jail are there for withholding money from the government (in one form or another) or minor seeming things like breaking peace bonds with the police?

It seems to me that real criminals are not in jail - so who is in jail? I know jails are supposedly housing a lot of people - what are they arrested/ jailed for?

I myself know of a pedophile who has never been charged. (Please don't assume I'm a crackpot and stop reading here). A woman who threatened to murder my Mother and myself, never charged. A man who set fires on our property (last month), was charged later only because he returned - breaking a peace bond with the police. Not for the fires he set, the items he stole (with the police standing there hearing him complain that he wasn't able to fit more stolen property into his bags at the time).

So, if the people who break laws regarding harm to the public are not in jail. Who is? My Father (many years ago) had the Mounties turn up at our door to arrest him for not paying income tax. They would have taken him away if my Mother had not been able to pay most/all of what he owed that day. He would have been in jail for money owed to the government.

Regarding the child molesting, its not a rumour, all the evidence was plainly available and given to the police by my sister who was his wife at the time. But, instead of charging him, or even investigating, the police politely asked if he would like them to destroy the evidence or give it to him. The evidence were his own hand written journal which had specific about the child he molested, another woman he raped, and bestiality with a dog. I am not writing to you about this directly. I've given up on that. At the time I wrote to the Police Ombudsman and reporters too. I am only including this as an example of people who are -not- in jail.

I don't know if I will hear from anyone there at CBC. But, could you at least let me know where I can find information about people in jail and why they are there? I would like to know for myself at least. I am feeling immensely discouraged about the government, courts/ police and the news media. I'd like to understand something about all of it. There must be some kind of logic to it all somewhere. I wrote to Protect Ontario about the man who set the fires, stole, trespassed but its been two weeks and I've heard nothing back. I hoped I would, but I'm not surprised. I really feel that ordinary tax payers are being left out to dry but they want us to keep voting, paying, all of that.

I love Canada, I write about Canadian history. I feel really let down by all of this and I'd like to understand why its happening. I don't know, something! Thank you for reading, I hope someone at least does read this. I'm not a crackpot, trouble makers, whatever else. Just a woman looking after her Mother and trying to keep a roof over our heads without being harmed by others.

Sorry for a long note. I'm a writer, not so much of a talker. (I'm not including files. I have the police report if its of any use).

That's what I wrote. I don't expect to hear back from anyone. I really don't think any one cares. Unless it happens to yourself or your immediate family there is no reason to get involved, or care. But, I've stopped voting in elections. I'd rather read a book, do something that matters in some small way, for myself. None of them get my vote.

Everything you care about, maybe with the exception of people, is just garbage to most other people. When you die your treasures will be thrown away.

I look around at the things I have in this little space, books, buttons, tea cups and saucers, and so many other things I've kept over my life. Things that matter to me for one reason or another. I know none of them will outlast me. After me, no one will care about any of it. That's sad. For me.

How far down that hole will you go? Eventually does anything matter at all? What keeps you from giving up?

I've worked as a REAL volunteer for years at different places. I find this kind of rude. I'm sure she is not volunteering or working for free. It's not my job to pay her wages. If the restaurant owner promotes/ agrees with this I'd never go there. Tipping versus extortion?

I think this woman wants a Sugar Daddy, not a job.