As the oldest of four kids, Thanksgiving was my least favourite holiday. I did like having the family come from all over Ontario, something I appreciate much more now that I am older.

My dislike of Thanksgiving was not for any of the popular political/ soapbox reasons about natives and the New World or even the mass killing of turkeys... I didn't like all the extra work and the arguing and the fact that we spent most of the day and the day before making pies, homemade bread, all those vegetables and then it was all over (for the men) in about 20 minutes.

For the rest of us, myself and my Mother and my Grandmother, there was another hour of clean up. My brother would help sometimes - he surprises me every family holiday now because he is the first one up helping to clean up and serve the dinner, every single time. My two sisters were very little help. Sure, they had the excuse of being younger, but they could have done more. Ironically, one of my sisters now says she always helped and I was the one who did nothing. Yet, somehow I remember peeling apples for pies and she was never there. I remember mashing potatoes, washing dishes, setting the table... no sister visible.

More than siblings, I resented the men at Thanksgiving. Not my Grandfather, because he would pitch in a bit and he would have helped more if we had asked him. But, he seemed to have a pass on the work, an old traditional kind of guy and a quiet guy too. I mostly would be angry with my Dad. He would sit back, doing nothing and lord it over as if he were king of the castle and never had to lift a finger. Maybe that was the big difference in how I felt, his attitude. My Uncle would be there too, he would bring plates out and mostly clear the table. But most years he was too full to do much and happy to watch TV with the other men.

In the kitchen, that's where Thanksgiving always seemed to be for me. We would be washing dishes before dinner, and again after dinner. Putting turkey and cabbage rolls and all those vegetables into serving dishes and platters and then putting all the leftovers into storage containers. Hours of time making pies and homemade bread. Some years we made apple strudel too, from scratch just like the bread and pies. My Mom and I worked together all Thanksgiving Day.

When my Grandmother (and sometimes my Aunt) came over they joined in. We talked about family history, people I had only met once (that I could remember) in my life. There was gossip too. But there really wasn't much conversation. We talked about what we were doing mainly, how to make the bread right. There were always instructions, especially for me, being the youngest and newest member of the baking/ cooking crew. My sisters, by almost never being there, missed out.

You may read this and think this isn't painting an anti-Thanksgiving picture. But, that wasn't how I felt about the baking and cooking with my Mother and Grandmother. I did like that part. I participated every year. Sometimes I would get impatient with being overloaded with instructions, as if I didn't already know what I was doing. Sometimes I would become the topic of conversation and hear about everything I should be doing and thinking differently. As aggravating as that would be, I've come to understand it was well meant.

I'm less anti-Thanksgiving these days because of my brother. Isn't it funny how life moves back on itself? I was so angry about being left with the women working while the men watched TV as if that was all they had to do all day (it pretty much was all they did as far as I could see). I could never understand why men were allowed, even expected, to be so useless and yet (in the case of my Dad) so critical too. He would criticise everything I did, as I got older I would try to not be there and do less. Then he would accuse me of hiding to avoid work. Of course, he didn't have to hide to avoid work.

Anyway, my brother is different. I don't know how or when it happened. He could have grown up to be a TV watching on Thanksgiving, like his Dad. But, he didn't. It wasn't while we grew up, he did help some but not the way he really pitches in now. I can go to his house for Thanksgiving and it can be me that does nothing but watch TV. I'm still kind of amazed by this every time.

So I'm less anti-Thanksgiving but it will never become one of my favourite holidays. What do you really think and feel about Thanksgiving in a personal way? Most people talk about the natives and old history that doesn't affect most of us personally. For me that's not what Thanksgiving is about. It's not about the culling of turkeys, the native peoples or religion and being thankful to any god. Thanksgiving is about family, the good, the bad and the ugly, all part of a pack of people working together one way or another.

Politically Based Anti-Thanksgiving

• Unthanksgiving Day - Wikipedia
• National Day of Mourning (United States protest) - Wikipedia
• Thanksgiving Celebration - Native Americans Thanksgiving
• Aaron Helton: The Anti-Thanksgiving

 Why Complicate Thanksgiving with Old News?

I don't really understand the point of the politically based anti-Thanksgiving theme. Why do people need to bring old history into a family holiday? Thanksgiving is a day to be thankful for the things we have, each of us, individually or as a family.

I know negative people and I know people who take on the woes of the world as if they were responsible for all of them, even though they could never have been in all those places at the same time. I don't understand this way of thinking. You will never change everyone and even to try is breaking your own rules for everyone having freedom of thought and expression. So, why keep flogging a dead horse?

Enjoy Thanksgiving for what it is. Why make it so complicated with old news? I'm not going to take responsibility for something done before I was even born. I'm not going to drag religion into a holiday when I haven't been inside a church in at least 10 years. I'm also going to eat turkey, guilt-free. I like meat. I don't like tofu.

If you don't like Thanksgiving and refuse to celebrate the holiday - do it for your own reasons.

Feminists, Thanksgiving and Women's Work

• The Thanksgiving Gender Divide: Women Cook, Men Watch Football?
• Women, Thanksgiving and Gender Roles - About.com
• Old Feminist: Thanksgiving work
• Feminist Legal Theory: Thanksgiving: Women's work?
• Everyday Feminist - Thanksgiving served up feminist style - The Patriot Ledger

Christmas cards are a big part of the holidays for me. I love to find a package of cards, with enough to send to everyone on my list, something creative and cheerful on the card front and a sentiment inside which isn't too sappy. It takes awhile to find the right box of cards, at the right price. I also like cards that can be mailed. Anything too decorative with fancy beads and gizmos won't be the right card to send through Canada Post. (Or any post offices, depending on where you mail them from). Bumpy cards are really only good for hand delivering yourself.

A Few Ideas for Signing those Cards

• Merry Yule. Hope you find something wonderful at the bottom of your Christmas stocking
• Seasons Greetings. Treat yourself to a great hot beverage over the holidays.
• Happy Holidays. It's only as cold as you think it is!
• Joys of the Season to you and your family.
• Be Merry, Bright and inspired this holiday season.
• Merry greetings and all that goes along with the holiday season.
• Happy holiday baking and snacking.
• Good will towards all men, women, children and animals too.
• Celebrate the season.
• Happy Christmas shopping, you can't give everyone a lump of coal after all.
• Merry Christmas. I'll be happy to pick up Santa's milk and cookies for him.
• Merry wishes for a great Christmas.
• Keep your holiday cheer all through to the New Year.

What you Need for Sending Out Christmas Cards

• Make a list of everyone you want to send a card to. Count how many cards you will need based on your list.
• Get the update on any addresses you aren't sure of. Look up postal codes if you are missing any.
• Make note of the stamps you will need to buy (for each location: Canada, the US, overseas in my case).
• Pick up your stamps early so you can get the Christmas stamps at the Post Office. Also, you can stick them on and mail them without waiting in a line for people mailing packages overseas later.
• It's an extra, but I like to have holiday stickers to add inside the card and/or on the outside of the envelope. Sometimes I draw my own Christmas doodles too.
• Another extra is a fancy pen for writing all those cards. I like to use a red pen, a holiday colour.

Keeping Religion out of Your Season's Greetings

I like to use Merry Yule, Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Season's Greetings - any variety of holiday salutations. But, lately the traditional greetings have come under fire, getting closer scrutiny. Christians don't want to keep the Christ out of Christmas. But, not everyone is Christian. Do you even know (for sure) which religion everyone on your Christmas card list believes in?

For instance, Jehovah's Witnesses don't celebrate Christmas. You might feel funny (or upset) if someone returns your Christmas card for religious reasons.

Unless you are sure about religious issues you should consider a neutral holiday greeting. Season's Greetings works well. Winter is a season after all. How can anyone, of any religion have an objection to a card wishing them a happy winter season?

Keep this in mind too when you buy (or make your own) Christmas cards. The illustration on the front could be something neutral, like snowmen, a Christmas village, etc. You can keep the issue in mind when you pick out the cards you want to send.

Of course, if you are sending cards just to family and friends you know very well, this whole thing won't be a problem.

A chilly night, after a tough day and you've been looking forward to time with a good book and a steamy, hot bath. You've got the place to yourself so you can take your time for a good, hot soak. Maybe even a scented candle, one of those aromatherapy candles someone got you last Christmas. Everything is perfect, you're starting to feel better already... You set your shampoo. conditioner, lotions and potions within easy reach and you make sure the big, fluffy towel is right there so you can wrap yourself up later.

It's peaceful, warm and the room is just pleasantly thick with steam from the hot water. You dip in a toe to check the water but, something is there. Something is touching your toe and brushing against your bare foot. Eeeek!

It's the creepy rubber duck!

There it floats, bobbing on the water, smiling with it's weirdly sewn up beak. The odd bubble trailing after it, possibly an air leak or some other gas leaking out of it's rubbery body. The veins in it's head seem to be slightly pulsing, like a mad scientist experiment never fully switched off. It's vacant, black eye holes seem to follow you as you back out of the room.

Where did that thing come from!!! Well, Amazon actually.

I found a selection of creepy rubber duckies. Although these rubber ducks may not like to be called duckies. There are glowing skeleton rubber ducks. There are zombie rubber ducks. For those who want a variety, there are an assortment of Halloween rubber ducks. Or, there's this guy, the black and white rubber duck which mysteriously just appears out of nowhere like a bad ghost you can't get rid of.

Rubber Ducks you Don't Want Haunting your Dreams

Not only are they creepy and scary enough... but they glow in the dark. Possibly radioactive? Ghastly, spooky radioactive rubber ducks for Halloween, or your nightmares...

Get a fancy backpack just in time for Halloween.

Whether you have fantasies of being a woman pirate, the terror of the high seas. Or maybe you just like to look a little less nice and a lot more dangerous. The skull is certainly going to be noticed on your backpack.

When we were little we didn't get out very long for trick-or-treating. My Mom would give us an old pillow case to fill with our candy collection but, of course, we never managed to stay out long though to fill it. Besides it would soon get pretty heavy to carry.

How much smarter would it be to have a backpack on Halloween?

Carry around your candy on your back instead of in your hand. There were no straps on those pillow cases to make them easier to carry. Plus, they come already decorated in the flavour of Halloween.

Become a Pirate Queen even before Halloween

I found a few backpacks with skulls but you could make your own. DIY by finding a great skull design or get inspiration and create a design of your own. Use beads, buttons, embroidery thread, or any other crafty method which will get your design on the backpack of your choice. Keep in mind whatever you use to create the skull must stick to whatever your backpack is made of. A denim backpack is much easier to sew than leathery stuff, if you sew it on. If you're a glue gun diva make sure your type of glue will stick your embellishments to the material of your backpack.

Take a look at cartoon skulls for great inspiration (and easier skulls to work with too). There are loads of sugar skull designs (especially in tattoos) if you want something with a lot more detail and colour. Make the skull as creepy or comical as you like, but don't overly freak out small children if you are around them. Be nice to the little darlings - you'll be wanting a share of their Halloween candy later.

If you don't want to get into DIY this skull and crossbones backpack (I found it via Amazon and HAD to post it) is pretty fabulous. I love rhinestones and it is true, I would like to seem less nice and at least a bit more dangerous as we get closer to Halloween. I think every nice girl/ woman has a quiet wish to be a pirate queen. At least part time.

Extraordinary is such a great word and a really great word for writing about campy pink flamingo lawn ornaments made over in the Halloween style.

Pink flamingos aren't just for Christmas, but they are so much fun wearing those Santa hats. Take the flamingo lawn ornament idea and bring it to Halloween. I found these Halloween flamingo lawn ornaments and had to share them for everyone to get the idea. What a lot of fun to turn something already fun into something less than normal and even more fun?

Do you usually decorate outside for Halloween? I have saved up most of my decorating for Christmas but Halloween is actually the more fun holiday. Not so much family and traditions are expected for Halloween. So there is opportunity for change, creativity and odd new ideas. Take the chance and do something unusual, after all, unusual is part of the day for Halloween.

Keep Things Simple with a Few Creepy Flamingos on your Front Yard

Start with some skeleton, zombie or ghoulish looking flamingos and work your way along to adding ghosts made from old sheets (you can pick up old sheets pretty cheap at the thrift store). Get markers, colours like red will show up well, and draw on your ghosts. Give them faces, of course, but carry on from there. Give them gore and a violent past drawn all over them. Hang your ghosts from trees or anything else that gives them some chance to catch a breeze outside.

Use old Halloween costumes which you can recycle from your own family or pick up cheap at thrift stores and dollar stores. An old costume, like a witch, vampire, and Frankenstein monster can be held up with clothes hangers and displayed pinned together to look like someone is wearing the outfit. Pin a hat at the top of the main outfit, add gloves and slippers (boots would be too heavy) at the bottom. If you have a few masks stick them with the hat to look like a face. Of course, you don't need to stick with the traditional Halloween characters, recycle Princess costumes, fairies, farm animals and anything else you find and get creative ideas for.

The Halloween lawn flamingos are just a great place to start your whole Halloween outside empire. Grow it with new ideas each year. Build a cemetery, turn the whole thing into a Halloween maze for trick-or-treaters to walk through before they can get to your door.

Or, keep things simple with a few flamingos - enough to show you have the Halloween spirit and a sense of humour.

Halloween is a great time to play with things, especially anything you can share and scare others with. Keep in mind, the public includes small children (unless you have a way to control access and block the view) so don't get too scary for the little people who will be out there too.