The BDSM experience is different for men and women, in several ways. Women are more careful about meeting men. Women may be looking for romance and affection, a relationship while men really just want sex. Women tend to get pushed into things they really don't want to do, in order to keep the peace.

I often read people (men) claiming women into Domming are rare. In my experience this is not true. I encounter many women who would enjoy Domming men, if they could find one who meets their needs.

Being a male submissive may not be what you think it is at all

There are very few men who understand what a Dom woman is looking for, what she actually wants. She does not want to be the Dom you see in pornography. If you are looking for a woman to fulfill all your porno fantasies of what male submission should be... pay for it. Professional sex workers will dress the part and read from whatever script you want, do it your way (as long as safety is considered) and give you what you want as you expect to have it. …more

Originally posted to Sex Kitten.

Why do men expect/ want loyalty from sex workers?

I had heard of the idea at some point but it didn't catch my attention until last week. I was having a talk with Gracie (from Sex Kitten) about another site and problems with phone sex men. Gracie likes phone sex men. But, Gracie is a professional and liking them is something she chooses to do. It's also something she gets paid for.

What loyalty does a paid sex worker owe to a client?

How long should any loyalty last?

Should she only be loyal to the clients who pay extra for it?

Of course, there is the question of which man she should be loyal to first? What if the sex worker goes home and becomes a wife, friend with benefits or girlfriend and considers her loyalty to her clients null and void?

Does any of this occur to the men who hire sex workers, including phone sex and anyone else they pay for sexual favours?

To me it seems a self centred thing. But, worse it is likely to leave these men disillusioned.

In short, if you pay for sex you get what you pay for and not more than that. You don't pay by the minute and get a whole lot of loyalty.

Addendum: Read Gracie's reply to this post.

• I'm giving you a massage tonight.
• Just thinking about how gorgeous you are.
• I. Love. You.
• I want to kiss you all over.
• I'm picking you up after work.
• The rest of the evening is a surprise.
• What I would give to be holding you right now.
• You're incredible. In case I haven't told you that lately.
• I'm still thinking about how radiant you looked this morning.
• You are the sexiest woman I've ever known.
• I adore you.

I know you can do better than my list and I want to help all the hapless men out there whose idea of a sexy text is: "What r u up 2? LOL."

via Dear Men, Here Are 10 Texts You Can Send the Woman in Your Life Right Now to Make Her Day - xoJane. (The link is broken now).

Why does romance have to be dead? I can remember being at work and imagining I had someone who would send me a note like this. That was before mobile phones so, of course, my note would have been delivered along with flowers (or in person).

On the other hand... I was a client in an office when a full bouquet of flowers were delivered to one of the men there. They were from his girlfriend, not for any special reason. I've never forgotten how touched he was, even a little emotional.

So, romance is not dead and romance is not just for men or women to be the givers. Anyone in love can instigate some romance. For no special reason at all. Just show them they are special - that's the reason.

Originally posted to Sex Kitten.net.

I know you want to read that Gracie and I made out. Gracie even expects that’s what we should write and pretend that happens. It wouldn’t happen that way, not outside of fantasy. I’ve been through the questioning what I like thing and I like men, men who obey with a smile. Not a sissy smile but a knowing smile. So, no, Gracie and I will not get together and make out like cyber bunnies.

We would talk. We do have some…. interesting conversations online. We talk about men, sex, feminism, online dating, BDSM, fetishes and we talk about regular life and stress and running websites and how are tricks?

Gracie and I don’t agree about everything. She’s been annoyed with me and I’ve been politely Canadian to her.

Do men really think women just talk about men and sex, or is that just wishful thinking?

Some of our best conversations, about sex and related things, have been about fetishes. Gracie, being the actual professional and myself being more of a hobbyist, we don’t have the same perspective but we do find most of the same things funny.

“Gracie, what do you really think about sex with dogs?” I ask. It was a serious question. I’m not a dog lover but I have to admit the fetish interests me as a fantasy.

“You’re not doing it with my dogs.” Gracie says.

“I wasn’t asking. Besides, I’m allergic to animals and I really don’t like dogs. I don’t think the fantasy would work out so well in reality. Dog slobber… ick!”

Gracie doesn’t reply for awhile. Possibly she has gone for a cigarette break. I don’t smoke, I just make coffee. So I type in a “gone for coffee” note and then forget to actually go make the coffee while I check email. Sure enough, Gracie is back before I’ve read much email.

“Dog slobber? That’s really what you would worry about? What about…dog parts?” I can hear her snort of disgust and ridicule from here.

“Well that’s part of the fantasy, isn’t it? Strange, thick cocks and penetration by something less than human. Why do you think these crazy fetishes work best as a fantasy when you’re alone in bed and want a good orgasm so you can fall asleep?”

“I have a man for that.” Gracie does, in fact, have an app.. I mean, man for that.

“Men get in the way of a really good orgasm. I have that blue, or is it purple…? thing for that. The one they paid me with instead of actual money. I bring it out once in awhile. Seems I should use it at least some times. I don’t use it for dog fantasies though.”

“Dragons?”, asks Gracie.

“Only once, so far. I did find a site that sells dragon dicks though. They were too expensive for me but a lot of fun to imagine. They had all kinds of shapes and sizes and colours too. Some of them actually squirted.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t find a way to get them to send you one.”

“Well, I thought that was a bit too extreme. But I did like the science of it.”

(To be continued, maybe).

Originally posted to Sex Kitten. With a link to my site Divorce Darling - Romance, bondage and keeping my sparkle after divorce. I like doing things my own way.

Why is it so hard to find a shoe for men who want some glamour, pizazz and sexy to their shoe? Searching for men’s shoes with glamour gives me a lot of women’s shoes and the odd link for men. Not enough!

You may not want to go out dancing every night, or be especially flashy, but… it is nice to have the option and once in a while. It is nice to be a little flashy, turn some heads and surprise a few people into thinking you have a few surprises left.

So here are some choices with colour, flash and some life beyond the standard men’s shoes. Just to warn you, I was looking at shoes, not price tags, so they do come in a range of style and price.

Personally, I favour the red one I posted first. I love the colour! But, it’s also a slip on shoe and does not have a pointed or long toe. Enjoy the shoes!

Previous image files and links are all broken and removed.