Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Friday April 19, 2002

I can be dominating and have that power charge, also I think a switch male is more interesting/ challenging to dominate because there is more to him than the desire to submit. I like knowing there is a give and take of power and I don't have to always be dominant and I am being dominant over a man who is strong and can be dominant also. There is less thrill in dominating someone who needs it, than there is in dominating someone who wants it.

I especially like knowing that I can let go and be taken care of or dominated when that's what I need or want. I like having options to suit my needs of the moment instead of being trapped in one role.

I also think a Switch is someone who has explored more of the philosophy and their own feelings about D/s than others who stick to one role. As a Switch you are often questioned about where you fit in - so it's something you explore and can evolved with as time goes on. I think switching allows more movement and creativity.

I also don't trust a man who says he is Dom or a woman who says she is sub. I think those roles are too easy to fall into. They are already a stereotype. It's much harder to step out of the stereotyped role and be something which can be seen as lesser. People see sub men as weak instead of a man who chooses to please women. People see a female Dom as somebody who is bitchy, maybe cruel instead of a woman who enjoys being more involved in the sexual side of her relationship.

For me dominating does come down to that - being more involved. When I'm in charge I know it's up to me to lead - not wait for him to start something - not needing to see if he is even willing to start something. It's my choice and I can take his feelings into account but I don't have to wait for him to lead or touch me in the right way, etc. Its more fun when its lady's choice.

Originally Posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday April 11, 2002

This is a story I had published a long time ago. I haven't had many published. I don't like to write the real icky porn that seems to sell. There aren't a lot of paying markets for other erotica.

Happy reading.

Cherry brandy, just the drink for an old virgin on her 'big night'. She laughed, lifting the bottle to her lips again. She was over thirty years of age and untouched, as they say in the old days when men were knights and pretended to follow a code of Chivalry. Her head was looser, only a little off kilter, pleasantly so. Her body felt as if it didn't fully belong to her wasn't fully under her control any more. That was probably a good thing. After all, how long was it healthy for a normal red-blooded woman to keep her virginity. What was the cursed thing for any way, but to lose or give away to the first good talker? …more

Originally Posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday March 30, 2002

In the BDSM community I'm what they call a Switch. Depending on my mood or the partner I'm with, I can be Domme or subbie. Overall, I prefer Domme. Its a powerful surge of energy to have a good man while he's down. But, its nice being a subbie too. Nice to let go and be taken care of. Not something I want to get into a lot, but nice now and then. I've never found just the right man for that job.

For me, it all started with John Norman. I've never met the man, never wanted to either. Once upon a time I found one of his books left in the living room by my Dad. I was probably 12, had just started having a few very innocent Dr. Kildare fantasies and exploring my body, alone in my bed, with all the lights out. The cover art drew me in. Those perfect, curvaceous bodies, just what every 12 year old female thinks she is supposed to grow into.

I read the back cover, from there I went inside. I only skimmed the pages, reading the scenes that began to thrill me. The capture of the woman and the good parts after that. I didn't care about Gor, about the male warriors and whatever else filled the rest of the pages of that book. That was the first time I felt sexually excited by something I read.

It seemed something bad, something I should not be reading or even wanting to read. I still have that conflict with my good girl image and my private bad girl fantasies. At times I like having the conflict, it means I haven't gone over to the "other side".

That is the root of my questions, my quest or journey. How much sexual lust can a good girl have before she becomes one of the bad girls? Then, is it really ok to have rape fantasies and fantasies of tormenting men, in a fun way. The Domme that is me is definitely not extreme. I like the domestic discipline, teasing torment, mild humiliation variety of play. No doubt someone would read my fantasies and say they are quite extreme, someone else would read them and think they are far too tame, girlish even.

So far the group of BDSM types which has most echoed my own feelings about D/s were The Ladies Tea Society. They really understand that men are to serve their Domme, not the other way around. The Ladies Tea Society has meetings where the ladies dress up, chat, have tea and amuse themselves by tormenting, humiliating the male submissives they bring with them. The men pour and serve tea, now and then one will act as a table for tea cups, plates of cookies, whatever. The men have the original option of being there or not. Once they make that choice they have no options left. There is no torture, just torment and a lot of fun for the women.

So, there you have my introduction. Some of the parts of me. Currently, I have begun with a new online subbie, male. Its very new. I plan to meet him. Right now I'm just enjoying getting to know him. In the past I had one online subbie. I wrote erotica for him. We never met, he lived too far away. He was a great friend and a lot of fun to Dom.