Originally posted to Bait and Switch, my weekly column at Adult BackWash: Sunday June 23, 2002

"You put on quite a show last night, Chris." His Governess was standing at the foot of the bed, already dressed.

"That Mistress was quite upset by the time you finished your little comedy routine. It was very rude of you, Chris. You made a lot of people angry, including me."

Chris winced, remembering pieces of last night. "I'm sorry." He pulled the sheet down from his face and looked at her for the first time. It didn't look good. She was still angry, her lips pressed tightly together. In fact she was very angry for someone who seldom became angry. The fog clouding his mind began to clear as the need for self preservation drifted in. …more

Originally posted to Bait and Switch, my weekly column at Adult BackWash: Sunday June 16, 2002

Chris was bored. Outside the rain beat down on the sloppy looking snow, melting it all away one flake at a time. The snowman he had made a few days ago looked like a forgotten science experiment. The head had fallen an hour ago, the body was listing to the left, only a shovel held it up. Of course, the whole thing was shrunken and pitted now. Chris thought of people who collected shrunken heads and wondered if anyone ever collected shrunken snowmen. Keeping them would require serious planning. Some sort of a freezer that wouldn't dry them out, he decided.

"Chris, did you get out there and shovel the path yet?" His Governess called from the den where she was working on his computer. …more

For the Saturday Night (and Sunday) Slave Auction - Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

Auction Page: http://www.cuffs.com/submission/auction.html Chatroom: http://www.cuffs.com/submission/local.html

I have a guest column.

Guest column by astraea.

eBay misses a niche. There is good news about a slave auction.

Good news only because they no longer exist? Well, no. And no. They do exist, and they can actually be fun, stimulating, and not at all soul-destroying.

Let me clarify, in case it seems I've wandered very, very far from PC territory. Buying and selling people is generally a very bad thing indeed. Slavery is abhorrent to most civilized societies, and even some that aren't so civilized. We like that about civilization.

But in the bright-yet-shadowy world of BDSM, auctions of submissives (and sometimes Dominants) thrive, both online and in entirely corporeal environments. A BDSM slave auction is voluntary, and unless someone has a particularly unusual fetish, no one is going to end up spending their days in the cotton fields, although there may be shackles involved.

For BDSM IRC channels, auctions tend to be about simply having fun. The auction currency is usually earned by making contributions to the channel in a variety of ways, from scening in public to creating content for a website or discussion forum, to playing a Truth or Dare game.

A good example of how an online auction works takes place this weekend. Over two evenings some 45 Dom/mes and submissives will make their way to the virtual auction block in the EFNet irc channel #submission. After each auction "lot" makes a brief statement about her/himself, there will be bidding every bit as fierce as those last-second clickfests at eBay - or perhaps more like the flurry of paddle-waving you might expect at Sotheby's.

The auction process is completed when the buyers and sellers decide when and how they will spend the time that has been purchased, and that can also be entertaining to experience, or to watch.

For your introduction to a world of auctions that's more about vintage kink than vintage kitsch, check the #submission auction information at www.cuffs.com/submission/auction.html - from there you can also join the auction in progress using their java-based chat.

Don't cast off those chains! Pick up your whips and paddles, ropes and chains, and see how they can be put to good use this Saturday and Sunday at an online BDSM auction.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, when I wrote a weekly column called Bait and Switch: Tuesday June 04, 2002

Most people focus on what they need and not what they can give. To me, that is the secret of male submission. Or at least what makes a real male submissive versus someone who just has a lot of fetishes and likes being ordered around. I've felt a kind of revulsion to the male subs who want to lick shoes, have a woman sit on their faces and assorted other fetishy things. What does that give to the Domme, slobber on her shoes and an uncomfortable seating position.

Today it occurred to me that at the root of all my feelings about what makes a good male submissive is one who knows what he can give, not what he wants or needs to take. Or at least one who understands that there is a difference. After all, Dommes are women, not blow up dolls.

In IRC chat I have had so many men approach me and start telling me what they want or need. It's really rare that one just talks and tells me about himself, real conversation about who he is and what might interest me about him. I don't mean I want a long list of how he will suck each of my toes, my clit and anything else he thinks he would enjoy doing for me.

That is the key, he would enjoy doing those things. What do I really get out of that? I'm probably not in the mood to even listen to some strange man babble on and on about pleasing me. Actually, I'm just contrary enough that anything he suggests will strike me as something I don't want any part of.

What I would really like is a sub male who is genuinely interested in getting to know me, as a person. Then, I'd like to know why he feels submissive, what he gets out of being a submissive (and I don't mean sex, cumming and all that boring stuff). Emotionally, what does it do for him and why? I want to know what he does when he wakes up and gets dressed each day. Does he like his career, how tall is he, does he laugh at life, is he grumpy in the morning, is he a smoker, does he have a hobby/ collection/ family/ pets? These are the things I really want to know. I don't give a rat's ass about seeing a picture of his face (or his cock!) at that point.

Also, I don't want to answer 20 questions about myself without getting any input about the man asking all the questions. I'm not stupid, I know when you are asking me about my measurements, bra size and how often I masturbate you aren't interested in me, just in jerking off yourself. If I get anything out of the exchange it's knowing I left you wanting more.

This is turning into my own private personals ad. But, if there is a male sub out there, about my age (30's) you can email me through BackWash. If you're interesting to me and interested in me, we could meet for coffee. You're buying, you're the giving one remember?

(Note - This post is outdated as I am no longer in my 30's and I am considering a male who seems to suit me).

Original post from Adult BackWash, when I wrote a weekly column called Bait and Switch: Thursday May 30, 2002

I set up this column with Ringman, the Backwash founder, in secrecy. In fact, I've been around Backwash about a year on and off. I write another column over in original Backwash. But, I didn't feel comfortable coming out about my BDSM side. There are a lot of stereotypes for women. Things a nice girl does and doesn't do. Nice girls get treated like nice girls and those other girls, well, they're just sluts aren't they?

At one point in my life I thought I was going to die a virgin. I was over 30 when I had sex with a real live human male. I actually took my own cherry with a vibrator I bought in an adult store and I was in my later 20's then. Even that had to happen when I was thousands of miles away from home.

Not that my Mother was/ is someone prim and proper. Heck, I was her second pregnancy and she was 20 when I was born. The first pregnancy was aborted. If it hadn't been for that kid's being aborted I wouldn't be here today. Mom told me that she didn't want to abort a second baby so she married my Dad. My Dad is a jerk most of the time, I've always thought she should have run while she could.

Anyway, that's all getting way off the topic. I grew up as a nice girl in a middle class neighborhood in the suburbs of a very large city. Sex wasn't something taboo but we weren't about to open up a bordello for a bit of extra income either. You get the idea.

I was a virgin for so long because I didn't meet any guy I wanted to get naked with. You are pretty vulnerable at that point. My Dad spent a lot of years heaping emotional abuse on me, mainly about how I looked. That didn't make me feel better about myself and I often loaded up on goodies to make up for it. So, by the time I was 20 I was chubby, had less than perfect skin and any time I might have a bit of self esteem it would be blown to bits when ever I looked at movies, magazines and all the other places "they" tell us we should all look like air brushed photos of skeletal women.

So, dropping my drawers was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do to attract the opposite sex. I think I choose my husband as my first (and only) lover because he was someone who felt a lot like I did. We were both virgins. But, if anyone asks me what the hottest sex I have ever had was, that was it! To be touched so reverently, cautiously, it made me feel like a goddess- priceless, valued and very sexy. Of course, that's all dust in the wind now.

Anyway, am I a mutant freak? Does anyone else have kinky fantasies or better yet, kinky sex? Does it turn you on to think of being seduced? Do you have rape fantasies? Do you think it would be fun to tie up a strong man and have your way with him? Or do you really, secretly just want to be Daddy's little girl?