Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Tuesday August 20, 2002

The man on the beach lay still and unmoving. Jane decided he must be dead which was a shame. He was the most gorgeous looking male she had ever seen. As she walked just a bit closer she could see a few odd things about him. For one thing, his skin was green. Not a really noticeable green, in fact, it was very pale green, not so far from her own skin colour. But green instead of pinkish. Definitely not the green they used in alien movies. Still, she had always thought a real dead body would be pasty white or that bloodless blue-white skin gets when it's never been exposed to the light of day. But, he wasn't. His hair was greenish too. Different from the skin because the green of his hair was probably as dark as green could be before it would be black.

The green-ness aside. The really odd things were his hands and feet. She didn't get to be a successful gothic writer without picking up a few odd facts here and there. It was possible for a person to be born with some webbing between their fingers and toes. But, that was removed at birth, or very soon after. Who would go through life with a full set of webbed hands and feet. Kids must have teased him ruthlessly about being a duck. Poor guy. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Wednesday July 24, 2002

Being a Domme should be about doing what turns you on, not about satisfying all of his whims, fetishes and turn ons. You are the one in charge after all. Otherwise, what do you really get out of it? Sure, its nice to please your mate, but that's not the name of this game. You please him by pleasing you. So, wipe your slate clean and start fresh, with a new mind set.

First, consider tossing out are those fetish wear clothes and heels. Unless you really do find pleasure in wearing them, why torture yourself? Think of something practical, like boots you can stomp around in. In your mind play "These boots were made for walking" and get yourself walking in a new pair of sexy, woman in charge boots. Spike heels optional. When you think of clothes why wear something expensive in leather. Check out some denim, its washable and easy to wear. As we all know, cotton breathes. If you can sew put together an outfit, maybe a dramatic cape too.

Once you're dressed for success put yourself in the picture. Think of things YOU would really like to do to or with him. If having him kiss your feet turns you off, his feet fetish is on the back burner. Instead, have him brush your hair, wash it too. Or he can be of some use polishing your nails, running your bath water, making dinner and cleaning everything up afterwards. Be creative but don't cater to his desires unless you want the same things. Do you hate cleaning the bathroom, would you like a servant to scrub your back in the shower, would you like a bouquet of fresh flowers sent to your work or would you just like to see him naked and waiting for you to make use of him, hoping that you will notice him sometime before the evening news.

You might not even want to play this game at all. It could be all his nagging, pestering or demands have put you right off the whole thing and its become a job you have to do. Take some time off from it, regroup and see if there is some aspect of this you could enjoy. Experiment on him. Tie him to a chair for the morning and just leave him there. Blindfold him, gag him, play with him or ignore him - he is totally in your hands. This is one time when the pace of the foreplay (or sex) is all up to you.

Find new things for him to do, household chores, pampering you, or spending a day at your mercy. The most important thing is to remember you are the one he should be pleasing, not the other way around.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Friday July 12, 2002

I have a fantasy... my man is my personal body servant. Part valet and part love slave. Each morning he would assist me with all the routine of getting shaved, washed, dressed and out the door. In the evening he would pick me up from where ever I was and ask if I wanted to go out for dinner or have him cook at home. Sometimes I would cook, but there is something pretty sexy about a man who can put together something hot, tasty and gourmet.

After dinner he becomes my entertainment. If I want to play, we play. If I just want to have coffee and relax he is casual, maybe a little conversation and some massaging of my shoulders or more. He wears what I choose and his moods always suit mine. He is never grumpy or mopey.

I think I would like to be seduced by a life sized Ken doll and I'm not really sure if I care that he is not anatomically correct. A penis just gets in the way of the really good stuff sometimes. Now, if it was detachable...

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, my weekly column was Bait and Switch: Saturday June 29, 2002

I have limited experience with condoms. Partly because I don't have a penis, partly because we were never successful at using them and partly because safe sex has never been a problem for me.

I did order a condom from a website, I forget which condom maker it was now. They sent a large sized condom and I had a look at it, in the package. My husband decided I shouldn't actually open the package since he wouldn't be able to use it then. I wish I had secretly opened it and had a look. He always seemed a bit too old fashioned about that stuff. Why shouldn't I have a look at something he expects me to insert into my vagina.

We never did get much use of the condoms we tried. I really do think he was using the wrong size. Why else would they always slip off so easily? But, that isn't something easy to tell a guy who is already self conscious and not all that interested in real sex anyways. I'm at the point where being masturbated by my lover is a turn off now.

But, I am single again and I expect safe sex will become something I need to know more about. Not that I'm clueless. You would have to be living as a hermit not to have absorbed some information about safe sex these days. But, I don't know how to use a condom, what kind of condom works best, is spermicide non-allergenic, etc.

Women have been the ones expected to provide or take responsibility for birth control for way too long. At least all the safe sex is making men take their cock in hand and do something about it too. But, that doesn't mean women are ok to just lie back and leave it to them. Whatever your pleasure, use his tool the right way.

Ladies don't write porn, we write erotica. Ladies probably don't have fantasies about seducing, controlling and tormenting men. Ladies don't have a lot of fun, but we knew that already.

I feel odd about writing the Adult column at BackWash. I'm a nice girl, I've always been a good girl. No fooling around, no drugs, drinking or sex. Other than the that found wallet thing I was a good girl other goodie girls could look up to in admiration. That didn't seem a bad thing either. People liked me cause I was a good girl. I'm not sure I want to know what they will think if they know I secretly write erotica (now and then) and even worse! I maintain an adult column about BDSM and SEX! I shudder to think.

Do nice/ good girls (women we would hope) like erotica? Are we allowed?