Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday November 23, 2002

Imagine if you will.... a hunky man (muscles, handsome, tall) naked and awaiting your orders. What's your whim? Would you have him clean your windows first or after the bedsport?

Bedsport is a delicious word. It's full of flirting, romping and adventure. Bedsport is daring. Why would you sleep with a man when you could be sporting him.

Back to the naked man. First of all, there is no option of forced feminization. I want a manly man not something in a dress pretending. Besides, a manly man is so much more fun to tease than someone begging for it.

That's why I like humiliation as part of the whole bedsport experience. Ever seen a real manly man blush? It's so sexy, makes me want to reach out and lick him. Just a little taste, maybe a nibble. A caress in that really sensitive area. Just enough so he makes that little sound. A tiny whimper, a gasp, all delicious.

I'd like to tie that manly man up in the door frame. The bed is traditional but it's limited access. Wouldn't you rather see ALL that skin, be able to trail your fingers over it and watch him squirm? Caress any part of him you wanted to. Rake your fingernails over his belly, lightly or a little sharp if you get into marking your territory. Explore and experiment all over his body. After all, it's yours for the taking.

Can you see him? His muscular curves jumping at your lightest touch, barest whisper? Watch his face change as you tease him. Decide what you want to do with him next. Should it be a slap on the butt or a kiss on the lips? Does he like it, or is he just a teensy bit worried that he might not really have any control at all?

An hour later, would he still think bedsport was an amusing word?

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Thursday November 14, 2002

How much does a man sell for you may be asking. Well, it's shockingly little. Or not so shocking, depending on your fondness for men at the moment. Mine tends to wobble around like a bowlful of jello.

What would you pay for a man? It's an interesting question. Of course, most people would say it depends on the man. Many women I know would think first of his end, the butt end. Not me! No, I don't care what he has behind him. I don't intend to spend a lot of time back there. It's what's in front that counts for me.

Let's not even pretend to consider what's inside. We all know that's just a lot of blood, guts and stuff we routinely clean off underwear, furniture and carpets upon occasion. Now, with that mental image let's consider what really is attractive in a man.

If I look at a man (anyone really) I look right in the eyes. So that's where my interest starts. The face. What kind of smile does he have, do I like the way his face wrinkles? I prefer a craggy sort of face, it gets better wrinkles and grooves and general cragginess. Thus the whole crag word. Not sure what a crag is? Think mountains, rocks, cliffs and you'll be on the right track.

From the face... I look at hands and I listen to his voice. I can't decide which matters more. Without the voice the rest doesn't matter all that much. But, if he has the wrong kind of hands I won't really care about being touched by him. Which would be a waste really as I love being touched. I also love hearing a really good male voice. I could be in a dark room and just listen to him talk. A really good voice is worth at least one good orgasm.

What's left? I kind of wonder at this point too. If you want to get technical there is the whole penis thing. But, mother's of invention that we are, women have found a way around that. We have all kinds of rubber, plastic and jelly-like penis type things. You can go to WalMart and pick out a penis and get the batteries on the side. They have those batteries right at the check outs! Right in the open! It's like they want us to buy extra duty batteries for those nifty massager things. Not that I have one of course, just the batteries. Not even the right sized batteries really.

Which brings me to a small pet peeve. Why do they sell batteries in packages of two? We can only use one penis at a time!

Well, maybe that nameless G of the Trinity... but those are just rumours. Right? I'm far too shy and wallflowerish to ask.

Sugar and Spice - Just a little naughtiness for women. Bring your own batteries

A new newsletter! Fresh and untouched. No one will even be subscribed as I type this. I expect that to change, well at least I'll subscribe myself. That way I won't be too lonely. I talk to myself all the time. Just don't tell anyone.

Moving right along... this is a newsletter for women who like being sensual, reading the odd bit of erotica and viewing the odd naked male. Yes, just the odd ones. The standard males are the ones we married, we can see them any day.

Be warned there will likely be some teasing, tormenting and now and then a touch of male bashing going on in here. You can't be nice all the time! That would be boring.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash, October 29, 2002.

I was messaged out of the blue while downloading a file on a site with a chat feature. I hadn't even realized it was there until the little window popped up. As soon as I read the standard "asl?" I knew it was yet another troll expecting me to amuse him. I've been online long enough to know better. I'm past hunting for male companionship on the Internet, no, I just bait the trolls...

asl?

What?

Age sex location?

I'm female.

Got a pic?

A picture you mean? No, I don't have anything scanned.

What do you look like?

Brunette, blue eyes, 5'4, 130 lbs.

What are your measurements?

I have big tits. My bra size is a D cup. I have a great ass.

My cock is 8 inches. 24m

I'm 37.

That's ok. I love older women.

Editors note: I was so glad it was OK with him.

Really?

Sure.

Why?

They treat me well, buy me things and are great in bed.

Ok. What do they get out of it?

Huh?

What does the woman get out of you?

A great fuck

Are you sure?

What?

Are you sure the woman gets a great fuck? Couldn't she pick up some other boy and get a better fuck? Do you have references from women you have fucked in the past?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Nothing. You started this conversation. I'm just trying not to get bored.

Bitch!

Editors note: Somehow they get upset when I don't co-operate with their whole image of the Internet as a place to pick up women. Still amazes me how they really expect every woman they message to be desperate and drooling all over them, eager for phone or cyber sex. Like we can't do better than some other woman's left over crumbs or an overly eager beaver boy.

One of the many things that bugs me about this dickhead behaviour is the pic collection each of them have from women who might actually be hoping they have met someone who would care about them. But, all these dickheads want is another notch on their monitor, another female picture to add to the pile they can brag about to the other dickheads later.

Troll baiting is better than just getting mad. For a minute, it's like getting even.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Wednesday October 23, 2002

Why don't men play with Barbie dolls? Isn't that what they really dream of? There she is big tits, ass and teeny waist, all done in good quality plastic without the expense of a surgeon. Barbie never wants to go out. She doesn't care if you talk nicely to her or if you even talk to her at all. Barbie will wear whatever you want, as often as you want. Barbie really is the ultimate woman for a lot of men.

Her biggest drawback is that she is short and kind of limited when it comes to sex. No wonder some men buy those blow up dolls, life sized Barbie with convenient holes. Three of them as far as I can tell. Blow up Barbie travels well too. Let the air out and pack Barbie into your shaving kit. Just watch those sharp objects.

Barbie's worst nightmares are fire and sticky stuff. Fire is pretty self explanatory. But, imagine an unwashed, sticky, crusty blow up Barbie. It's not like you can expect that girl to do any self maintenance. She will never shower herself off, brush her hair, patch up her leaks. Poor blow up Barbie, she'll never be someone you could take home to Mother. Luckily, she is easy to replace. If one blow up Barbie gets mangy looking just buy a new one at the adult store.

Men with a few dollars to spare could really go to town and have two blow up Barbies. Isn't that every man's other fantasy? You could use elastic to rope those Barbie babes together and let them at each other. What a wild night that would be! Just don't let Ken know the address.