Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

"I like your breasts. They're so round and bouncy." Keanu mumbled against the skin of my belly. We were both a little mellow. His silky hair and rough whiskers were giving me butterflies but I wasn't complaining. I loved the vibrations across my skin as he spoke. It wasn't rocket science but you can't expect a guy to get into heavy duty math right after sex.

"Thanks." I wasn't ready for heavy duty math either.

Keanu pulled himself up on an elbow and crawled alongside me in the bed. He kissed nice, not too wet and not too much tongue. A grrl could get used to that. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

"I thought you couldn't get out of here fast enough. Isn't this just delaying your own get away?" It wasn't very comfortable being hauled around over his shoulder. I'd never been carried off before. It was a different feeling, that touch of helplessness, damsel in distress. Except, Keanu wasn't quite the knight in shining armour. After all, you could hardly expect the guy you had abducted to become your shining knight.

"You've done enough talking and abducting for awhile. It's my turn now." Keanu suddenly didn't seem quite the lost puppy, nice guy he had seemed.

The door hadn't been locked so he just stepped inside, looked around and tossed me onto the only bed in the one room cabin. It was a small place. One door in or out, one bed, one outdoor bathroom and one closet. Though, the closet space was kind of irrelevant at this point. When I was planning this whole scheme I thought the closet would come in handy as a make shift cage. Now, I just hoped Keanu didn't get any ideas in that direction. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

"Now, if I untie you are you going to come in for coffee or try to shove me aside and make a break for it? If you can't be sincere just let me know."

"I'm not going to shove you aside." Said Keanu.

"I'm not falling for that."

"Falling for what?"

"That disclosure deal. You're not shoving me aside but you are going to make a break for it. Is that how you feel, after all we've talked about on the drive here?" …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash.

"We've been driving for hours, are you going to at least stop for gas? There's no way I'm going to help push the car if you run out. It's enough that I'm here, against my wishes. I don't have to help you kidnap me." Keanu looked at the roadside flying by.

I didn't say anything. What was there to say? Sure I was kind of sorry for tying him up, sticking him in my car and taking off. But, hey, I did it now. I wasn't going back and it was too late to change my mind. We all have to live with our decisions. …more

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday November 08, 2003  

Don't tell anyone but... I'm having a secret love affair with a guy who doesn't know anything about it. It's much more fun this way. Trust me. No hang-ups, on the phone or otherwise. No mountains of luggage, baggage and social issues. It's so nice to come home to secret love affair guy too. Sometimes he picks me up at work and comes walking around with me as I work. We chat. It's always light hearted fun chat. Secret love affair guy is never difficult or moody. I don't allow it.

Too bad you can't just make some kind of robot man to behave exactly as you want. Life would be so much friendlier and simple. Not to mention all the romance and great sex.

I guess that is my personal best as far as fetishes go. The robot man, may rust in case of rain. Tends to collect dust and require frequent doses of oil and spare parts. Lifetime guarantee. You can even inherit robot man from your Grandmother. Now there's a picture!! Ick!

If robot man could feel would he feel like a used condom? I wonder about these things.

I wonder about many things so it's no surprise that I can add a hundred more things to wonder about to my list of things to wonder about at the drop of a hat. How's that for a complex sort of run on sentence? I'm not even going to fix it. I know what I mean, the rest of you can follow the bouncing ball and I wish you the best of good luck.

Anyway, back to the secret lover. He is based on a real man. I don't indulge completely in some misty fantasy land. It would be hard to drive that way for one thing. So far I have no tickets or warnings, not bad for a flake, eh? Flake of what you may wonder. I've wondered that too, on and off, as wondering flakes tend to do.

So, ok, this column is supposed to be about sex you're probably thinking by now. So here's your dose of sex.

Was it good for you? What, can't you read between the lines? Was the invisible ink too light for you?

I guess you missed it then. The secret love affair guy who doesn't know he's the secret love affair guy said he loved it. Made his hair sizzle. Not to mention other bits that tend to stick out.

Anyway, don't tell him who he is. That would spoil everything. Just smile and keep them all guessing. Won't that bug him when he reads this.