Tempting Tuesday - The word this week is caught.

The whole point of the chase is the catch or being caught. When you play with a partner, do you prefer to be the one doing the catching or the one who is being caught?

I think submissives generally like being caught. That feeling of being chased, of being wanted enough for someone to give chase and then the actual being caught and kept.

Does this mean Dommes only like chasing and catching? No.

I think everyone likes being caught. To have that primal feeling of being valued enough to be worthy of the chase. Then to be cared for enough to be celebrated when you are caught.

Originally posted to Sex Kitten.net.

This young lady is a real doll. I found her on Etsy, a shop called Shayne of the Dead.

I like her. She got me thinking about keyholders and those for whom the key is being held. When men read or fantasize about male chastity and wearing a chastity device, they skip so much of the sweet reality.

I’m not even getting into the comfort of wearing such a device or the ease of use when in the bathroom, or even when changing clothes. I’m sure there are other situations which (being a woman) I haven’t even thought of myself.

No, dear little men, I’m thinking about the terrible inconvenience of a keyholder who deliberately (not in any playful or teasing way at all) withholds your key. Perhaps she’s just a bitch, as so many men would like to say and leave themselves the poor blameless innocents. Let’s leave Fantasy Island and just accept the fact that there is shared blame and you might have gotten into this whole chastity and keyholder thing a bit too soon.

Now, here you are, locked up and no keyholder in sight. She isn’t even taking your calls, answering your emails and the hand written letter you sent (pleading for mercy) came back with “return to sender” written on it in thick, red ink.

Did you keep a back up key? What are the chances that you wanted the full experience of being a total submissive at her mercy, unable to do get out of your chaste bondage without her co-operation?

Wasn’t that stupid of you? You may be thinking that now. While you debate the ways to escape your predicament… let me lend you my time machine. It works on the web and will ship itself back to me the moment you have gone back in time and made sure you kept a copy of that very important key for yourself.

Of course, time machines are still science fiction. Sad, isn’t it?

If you are considering going into chastity, wearing a chastity device, proceed with caution and get out your common sense. Even if you know your keyholder very well (even if you tell your Mother some story and get her to keep your key, thinking it is a storage locker or something more ordinary) a key can be lost. A key can be misplaced or taken by someone else who doesn’t know what the key is for and decides it’s just junk. A keyholder can change her (or his) mind about you. So often people don’t want to face someone in that situation so they try to pretend you have just gone away, for a long walk off the planet. However it happens, your key may become lost to you.

Don’t let this situation happen to you. You can stash a back up key in your freezer where you will have to thaw it out. You can tape your key under your bed or to the back of your closet. Put it inside a sealed envelope to make yourself pause before just opening it for anything but an urgent reason. Use a balloon and push your key inside, you don’t even have to inflate the balloon. It will take more effort to get the key out if the balloon is not inflated. You can find other ways to hide a back up key from yourself, or make it less accessible.

What really matters is not being that guy who has to find a way to remove his cock from a chastity device by asking for outside help, like the hospital Emergency room, or a locksmith or friends who have more knowledge of tools but will never let you forget where their tools have been and the favour they did for you that day.

Some day I’d like to be a keyholder. I nearly was but we decided the distance was too far for safety and the fact that we wouldn’t see each other often enough to really have fun with it. I’d enjoy being an evil keyholder. It would be fun to let him think the key was gone or I’d postpone our meeting time for an extra day… all sorts of little adventures in keyholding. But, I do wonder about the losing the key thing. I’d want to have a really good back up plan myself if I were the keyholder.

If you look for male sex robot on Google you get a LOT of females. But, if you take the time to weed through you do find the odd male robot. Most are not what you are looking for (not if you are me).  Most male robots are military/ gamer types. Not the sort designed to play with the female body. It's disappointing, but it does show how much sex is still slanted to men.

It bugs me how hard it is to find anything for the Dom woman. It is all set up to appeal to men. Whether it's gay male porn, women's porn for men (because real women don't read that trashy jerk off stuff), lesbian women fiction and photography usually shows two women professionals and they don't seem to have much in the way of a real connection - unless their piercings get tangled. I don't know many women who like hard core stuff the way men do. Even the FemDom photos and fiction online are geared to the male perspective. She wears her FemDom uniform, she oversees his "service" to her yet she never actually gets anything out of it, beyond the payment due at the end of her performance.

Back to the sex robots. I think, the best I can hope for (in any kind of reality) are little robots. While the sex robots for men are full sized with breasts large enough to tip them over. The sex robots for women will be compact, something you can easily keep in your purse, your luggage if you go away for awhile. You could even stash these little guys in an empty coffee cup and walk around with it all day, no one suspecting anything.

The moral of this post is that women like sex too. We may not be as vocal about it. But, that's because nice girls don't talk about sex. Actually, nice girls are taught to show no sign of needing anything at all for themselves. But, that's a lie. We have needs and wants, desires and passions and all out crazy kinks and fetishes too. I suspect we are going to have to come up with our own sex robots though.

For those who are confused... this is not serving her. This is a professional/ paid FemDom at work.

How can you tell? For one thing, the biggest thing... how is this serving HER? She's wearing uncomfortable boots, her butt is hanging out and she's spending her time standing over him doing nothing when she could be enjoying a nice coffee and a good book.

This is so not right. When will they ever get it?

I would have a man drink from a doggie bowl on the floor. But, it would be his own personal doggie bowl. It would not be shared with any other animal. I would not be standing over him, uncomfortable. I might wear boots, but I have a great pair of winter boots that I actually do  like to wear. I'd wear whatever I happened to be wearing that day. If I wanted to change it would not be something showing my ass. How dignified is that?

I'd likely have him make coffee for me before he stripped down. You don't really want a naked man in the kitchen. Probably violates health codes of some kind. I'd pull over a chair at the very least. Actually, you wouldn't need to stand over him, just move him to where you want to be sitting. Bring along a long handled object, like a broom, you can use to prod him with if he slacks off or slows down in his task.

Most of all, this should not be about you (the FemDom/ Domme) standing there like a paid escort or call girl. He says he wants to serve you, so make sure he does. When he finishes his water bowl he can load up the dishwasher, hand wash the pots and pans and then take out the trash. Any other chores he can do for you? He should be the one to ask. If you have to remind him... well, if you're holding a whip or have a spanking implement you might as well get some use out of it. At your own discretion of course, you don't use a whip if you don't know what you are doing with it.

Don't spend time on punishing him with a spanking if that isn't what you want to do. Instead, let him serve you. Did watching him lick clean the doggie bowl turn you on? Then (if his mouth suits you) let him lick you next. This is one more reason to just have water in the doggie bowl, that way you do know a bit about where that tongue has been lately.

Later, he can finish the night by turning the radio on and locking up the house before he lies down on the rug in the bedroom like a good doggie.

You're Not the Only One

What's so terrible about being a virgin that people feel ashamed of it and think they have to get rid of their virginity?

If you are a middle aged or adult virgin, you aren't alone.

The general stereotype is to think any one still a virgin after age 30 or even 40 and beyond

• must hate the opposite sex,
• be very frigid or have sexual hang ups,
• be very religious,
• be gay or
• be so ugly no one will touch them.

It doesn't occur to people that some middle aged people just haven't found anyone that interesting, attractive or desirable. …more