Originally posted to Sex Kitten.net.

I have thought about taking it on the road, when it comes to a BDSM relationship. I thought about staying in a hotel overnight and the things we could or could not do. I don’t agree with people who play in public. People in general should not become part of any BDSM play. It is more than just kissing or fondling in public and those are not things I would do either.

I don’t think there is something wrong with BDSM. I don’t think it should be something to be ashamed of, kept secret or hidden. However, that does not mean we should be shoving it in front of people regardless of their own feelings and sensibilities. Have respect for other people and keep your play sensitive to those around you in public places. You may have “the right” to play but there is also the right for everyone else not to be exposed to your play or be made to feel uncomfortable from it.

So, if you can find something like a private hotel, motel or a bed and breakfast which allows and even encourages private BDSM and sex play, then why not make a plan to use that service? The room is designed as a play space, with extras available or included. Privacy is assured.

Would you make it a business yourself? It would be very much a niche, a smaller niche than catering to the general public. You might have some interesting clean ups and repairs to do. You may have to keep track of people you don’t want back as clients. But, you could also build up a list of local BDSM or swingers or fetish lovers who use your service and through them and local munch groups you may have a reliable and loyal clientele.

Romance or Relationship?

The main problem with a long distance relationship is how alone it makes you feel, especially at a time of year when you see so many other happy, loving and together couples. Christmas, Valentines Day are the hardest holidays on people in long distance relationships. Birthdays too, those days when we want to share our time with the people who are most important in our lives.

Start as friends. Don't rush into a relationship, especially when you already have the hurdle of not being in the same location. Don't decide you are in love too soon. This is not going to be an easy, simple relationship where you can get together for a coffee and maybe a movie just because you both have the afternoon free. This is a relationship which is going to take good communication, trust and planning ahead. You also need to know you have the time to put into this relationship. If you can't make time for a relationship really, then don't get into a long distance relationship which will be even harder to work out for your available time.

Over 100 Long Distance Relationship Activities and Ideas

Spend Your Time Apart

Don't neglect your time apart. Keep working on the things that make up your own individual life. Spend time with your family and friends. Work on achieving things at work or school. Keeping your life busy and full not only makes the time pass faster but better too.

Don't put your life on hold while you wait for the relationship to change. That won't work. You will end up bored, frustrated and you will miss the feeling of accomplishment and being part of the world which you need when you are dealing with a long distance relationship.

LDR Ideas and Tips

• Long Distance Relationships

• Discovery Health - 10 Reasons Why Long-distance Relationships Just Don't Work

• CANOE - Lifewise: Tips to survive long distance relationships

• Long-Distance Relationships - Survival Guide - Slice

• How to make your long-distance relationship last - Canadian Living

• How to Make a Long Distance Relationship Work - wikiHow

• The Rules: How to Have a Lasting Long-Distance Relationship - Shine from Yahoo! Canada

• Long-Distance Relationship - AskMen

• Long Distance Relationships: Connecting from Afar : TwoOfUs.org

• Saying "I Love You" from a Far

• Loving from Afar: Tips for Enduring a Long-distance Relationship - Yahoo! Voices - voices.yahoo.com

• Long distance relationships: How to make long distance relationships work - sofeminine.co.uk

• Love from Afar: Staying Close While You Live Apart | Psychology Today

Communicate Over Distances

Use video chat and webcams if you have them. This is a way to see and hear the person you are talking to when you are talking online.

Schedule time to get together online and stick to it. Whether you get together in reality or virtually, don't miss a date once it is set. If something does come up give notice as soon as you can and then arrange a new date and time when you know you can be available.

Use snail mail. Send cards, letters, postcards even. Not just for special days but any old regular day. You can have a plan to send a weekly letter with news, thoughts and ideas as they come along over the week. Snail mail is a cost effective way to keep in touch and it has a personal touch which you can't get using email.

Take a digital photo of yourself every now and then or on occasions and share it through email. In this way email is nice because there won't be a long wait to see the photo, it can be there that same day - even that same hour or minute.

Send little gifts. You don't need to spend a lot of money on the gift or on the postage and packaging for the gift to get there. Little things mean a lot. Listen to what he or she says. Pick up on what they say and surprise them with shampoo samples when they get a new haircut. Send them coffee beans - something you think they would like. There are all kinds of small and sample sized things which can be sent in the mail.

You can even shop online at sites like Etsy, CafePress and Artfire and have surprise gifts sent to his or her address from you. There are so many great things you can pick out from online handmade craft sites. I especially like Etsy.

Join social media sites like Twitter, Pinterest, Facebook (not my favourite), Skype, Yahoo! Messenger and share things you find online. Send interesting website links, photos that catch your imagination and ideas for things you will do when you are together, in person, again.

Get your own family and friends involved. The relationship will feel much more real and alive if more people are part of it, or at least know about it. Once you know you have grown past the stage of being friends talk about your family. Introduce your family and friends to your long distance partner.

Plan Ahead

When you have a date, time and location set for your next meeting, start making plans. You can have a lot of fun thinking of all the things you might do when you are together again. Of course, the list will soon grow and you won't be able to fit everything in. Decide which are the most important things and put those the top of the list. Plan how they will fit together and how your schedule will flow.

Plan a vacation together. Meet somewhere in the middle of your two locations or head somewhere you both have always wanted to travel to. You can have a great week just the two of you at a romantic bed and breakfast in the mountain. Or, you might pick a seaside cottage which you can rent by the week. Or, a wintery vacation with skiing and hot chocolate in the north.

If you can only get away for an overnight or a day, the bed and breakfast is a nice plan. Also, consider a picnic for just the afternoon. It's nice to at least be in the same time and space, even if only for a day, a morning or an afternoon, or for one evening. If nothing else you can meet at the bus or train station (or the airport) for a romantic kiss and cuddle as one of you passes through town.

Talk About It

Issues will come up. They always do. Whatever comes up in your long distance relationship, talk about it.

Talk about feeling lonely and alone.

Talk about a change to the relationship.

Talk about being angry or sad and all your other feelings.

Don't put off talking about something important because you don't want to hurt your partner's feelings. Really, isn't that just a cop out for not wanting to face having to tell them bad news and deal with the fallout? If you really do care for this person you will be honest with them.

If you lose the honesty then there can't be trust in the relationship. At that point it really can't work out. A long distance relationship needs communication and trust.

I posted this to Literotica in 2002. They modified it, making the submissive male 18 in order to make it clear this was an adult story. I disagreed with the change. The man I wrote the story for was actually 36 and making him 18 turned the story into something kind of gross for me. I asked them to not publish the story at all but, Literotica ignored me. So this was the one and only story I posted to the site. I'm surprised that the site seems to be defunct now. Just a collection of old content.

One Wet Afternoon by SpiritoftheNight

18-year-old Chris was bored. Outside the rain beat down on the sloppy looking snow, melting it all away one flake at a time. The snowman he had made a few days ago looked like a forgotten science experiment. The head had fallen an hour ago, the body was listing to the left, only a shovel held it up. Of course, the whole thing was shrunken and pitted now. Chris thought of people who collected shrunken heads and wondered if anyone ever collected shrunken snowmen. Keeping them would require serious planning. Some sort of a freezer that wouldn't dry them out, he decided. 

"Chris, did you get out there and shovel the path yet?" His Governess called from the den where she was working on his computer.

"It's raining. I don't want to go out." He called back.

"Too bad. Get dressed and get started. You wouldn't want anyone to slip on the path. I just heard it is going to get a lot colder this afternoon. All that rain will be ice by then. You need to clean it up now and put down some salt too." …more

Originally posted to Sex Kitten.net.

I am a Domme Princess and I expect to be treated like one – until I tell you otherwise.

I don’t like the Princess by Day – Slut by Night thing. It messes things up. By day women should be seen but not heard, the shy virgin? Or is it the Princess who is a commanding bitch, the off with their head type?

Not just that, but why does a woman have to wait for the right hour to behave a certain way? What if she wants to be treated like a Princess with doors opened, polite conversation, etiquette and manners and at the same time she wants a man who enjoys opening those doors and feeling her hand smack his butt as she lets him enter ahead of her. People do not fit into any role exactly and why would we want to? Far too predictable.

I’d rather be provoking and contrary.

I don’t really want to be a Princess. I’m not into all that pretty girlish stuff. I do like good manners, grooming those things which I consider the basics for human interaction. But, I’m not going to pretend to be sweet and fluffy. I am nice, that’s enough.

I don’t want to be a whore or a slut either. What is a slut, a whore? Why is that a word we still use mainly for women? If anyone behaves like a slut it is the men who brag about it, who assume they can “get” any woman and then belittle the women they do “get”. Is that the sort of women men want by night? One who sleeps with a lot of men and thinks nothing of any of them.

Yes, I still want to be a Princess Domme. But, on my own terms.

Originally posted to Sex Kitten.net.

I found these wearable vagina panties while reading a post about women having surgery to their vagina and labia to change how they look – bigger labia, less labia, tighter vagina, and so on.

Yes, the panties are designed for males who want female parts. These panties are in demand enough that people are making these panties and asking $100 and up for them. Would this make a male feel like a woman? I don’t know, I’m not in that position. Would I make a male wear these, as forced feminization? No.

To force someone to be a woman goes against the grain for me. Why force someone to be something I am? Doesn’t that seem a bit backwards. As if being a woman was something so awful you have to force people to be women.

Yet there are men who call themselves male submissives who claim to want forced feminization. I wonder about the women who do this. Not the women who are paid to do it, that’s just a job, a service they perform for pay. They don’t need a personal interest, an opinion or a desire to do it. They just do it and collect their money.

I wonder about the women who are FemDoms as a personal thing, outside of getting paid for it. What do they think about forced feminization. Do they do it just to please him, give him what he wants? Well, that’s not what being a FemDom is about. Who is the one leading in that case? If there is a woman FemDom who actually liked forced feminization I’d like to know her thoughts about it. Why or how does it interest her.

I do see it working as a humiliation thing. That I understand, to a point. But, what does she (the FemDom) get out of that? I might give him frilly panties to wear, knowing the frills will be bulging around him and look odd when he is fully dressed.

However, something like the wearable vagina… I don’t want him to be a woman. I’m a woman. I want my sub male to be a man even when he’s wearing frilly panties under his suit.