It's a rainy day. So I am getting out for a walk and some pictures, somewhere. I haven't decided yet. I'm still having my mostly cold coffee right now and watching whatever comes on TV. One channel is all kids shows and the other is all entertainment news, so far. Hard to decide which is sillier.

I am so tired this morning. I only slept about an hour yet I can't get to sleep when I try going back to bed. Too much in my mind with this moving and packing and wondering what I am going to do until the end of July when we can move to Barrie. I'm going to have over a month of living out of the garage at Alliston.

Not literally. But, keeping mostly everything in there is not going to be nice. It stinks in there. Why do garages stink? It's not just a garbage stink. There is a fungus, mildew stink too. I used to leave the garage doors open for hours to see if it made any difference. It didn't. I think they build that smell right into the garage when you get your new house.

It would be ok but that smell sinks into everything. You can't get it out of your clothes or your books once they have been infected.

I downloaded a couple of software programs to try to sort out my digital photos. None of them worked that well. Each only shows a few photos at a time. Hard to file them and check for doubles if you can only see four at a time. I never did find where the second program filed my photos. I still have the originals. It's just a little mystery to find the sorted out ones now. I spent a lot of time I should have been packing on procrastinating with those pictures. Seems I should at least have something to show for all my wasted time.

My brother is coming this afternoon. I'm not sure what he is working on today. Likely painting and he said he was going to turn off the water. Likely he is going to spaz a bit cause I don't have more packed up and I didn't shuffle a bunch of boxes on the bus from the grocery store. He offered to bring some today though so maybe he won't bug me about that. I really did not want to struggle with empty boxes on the bus, waiting for the bus in the rain mostly each day this week anyway. Soggy boxes are not the best for packing.

If I get going out there soon, in the lovely rain, I should be back in time to finally be worn out enough to sleep a bit, in theory. It's funny how you can feel your brain and body are tired and yet you can not sleep. It's not insomnia, just too much stressing out about stuff.

I'm kind of looking forward to the rain. I do like it. Not those really blasting days but today is a gentle rain, kind of nice. Great for taking pictures, as long as your camera doesn't get too soggy.

I'm moving sooner than I thought. Likely next week sometime I be out of this little basement place. Can't move to the house in Barrie yet so I will be half living somewhere else until the end of July. Kind of complicated, messy and chaotic. How else would things be.

Today I have been procrastinating on beginning to pack things up. I think I will get a real start on it soon. I have been looking at some moving services. Might be able to hire one for $200 - $300 which would be not too bad. Better than trying to move it all ourselves again. It really was a lot of work moving down here. Then all the stuff that was stolen, broken or thrown away by my brother. At least there is less and less to move all the time. Some day I will just entirely disappear.

Wink looks neat but will not work well enough for me. It will be SO nice to have the new computer. Yet it really does annoy and aggravate me that people expect everyone to have the latest, newest hardware and software. It's a very arrogant attitude.

Snobbery really bugs me! But it's hugely common and socially acceptable cause it makes people feel good to have someone underfoot. Everyone wants some kind of underlings to look down on so they can look up at themselves. Maybe that's why I never get anywhere with my life. I tend to think I'm nobody special. Though even I think less of street people. Fear them a little too but don't think of them as being on my same playing field. Yet, I also worry about ending up there myself. In my family I was voted most likely to end up a bag lady. More than once.

Anyway, I will save my link to myself at Wink for later. I do have the money for the new computer now. It's just a matter of when and where. I really don't think I can wait all the way till August. I want it now, I'm so excited to really start computer shopping. I've been looking online. Seems Staples is the best place cause they have a one year warrantee and sometimes have a bundle/ package which includes the new flat monitors. That is a Must this time around. Last time I was getting a new computer they were the latest new thing and way over my price range. Not this time!

I don't blog to make friends or cause I really have something to say that the world must know or cause it's trendy and I'm ultra fashionable. I blog cause I want someone to hear me. I want to believe someone is listening to me. What I say or what anyone hears isn't all that important, just that the transaction is taking place.

I think this is something true for a lot of women. If men ever figured this out they would be dangerous. Luckily, very few of them actually listen to us enough to figure out how much we want them to listen to us.

I've joined yet another of those track your blog readers things, like MyBlogLog, Blog Catalog and Blog Woods. The new one is BumpZee. It's not that I want to build traffic, I'm not selling anything. I just want to see that real people have been here, different real people too not just the same few over and over again. Or myself. It's nice that blog counters can be set to ignore your own visits to your site. Though, in the early days I spent enough time hitting the refresh button just to turn over a few numbers.

I don't like to think I'm lonely. That's not the person I want to be. Yet I guess I am. Not totally cause I like being alone, not having to be pleasant and interesting on demand. It's nice having the place to yourself. Being able to do things you'd never want someone to catch you doing. But, I miss having someone to talk to about nothing. That's where the blog comes in. I type about nothing instead of talking. Maybe it saves air, do you breathe less if you talk less?

Anyway, I will keep blogging just to know I'm being heard. I will keep adding reader tracker junk and checking my blog counters. Cause that's what keeps me coming back to type some more.

I spent today cleaning up things. It began with the kitchen, dishes cause I also had to make my own breakfast and coffee this morning. After that I swept and then washed the floors. I forgot however to include the bedroom and bathroom in the washing part. But, I need to get a second scrub on it tomorrow so, no big deal.

I put away things, papers and the odd book. I stacked and packed things so there is some small hope I could make my life small enough to go unnoticed. Sometimes that actually is a challenge. I tend to be a paper packrat. I keep clippings and whole magazines even. I keep books too. It's so damned hard to let go of a good book. I think actually, though don't tell them, it would be easier to let go of a fairly good man than a really good book. If the man was really good he'd supply a me with a bookstore to just take what I wanted. Or, a credit card I never actually had to pay. Oh, those dreams about winning the lottery! sigh

Anyway, stepping back to some form of reality... I washed dishes again in the afternoon cause no one came by to offer to make me coffee and clean the cup after. Why don't people just come over and offer to wash your dishes for you? Wouldn't that be a nice friendly thing. If you have new neighbours try that one out on them. Bet they'd be surprised. I wonder if they'd think you were really great or just really scary. The world is so weird these days.

I moved my area rugs around. A different pattern for the runway since I only have one hall, the apartment is pretty much a hallway the size of a walk-in closet. I like it though. It makes you feel you could just sit in a chair with quiet (non-screechy) wheels and get to everything with just a swoosh of your chair. I could shoot myself from one end of the apartment to the other if I rigged up some kind of elastic slingshot effect. That would be kind of fun and interesting. Of course, aim would be important. Hitting the walls would not be very nice, I'm not a pinball. I doubt the landlord would go for the idea of me coating the walls with rubber to bounce off of. Spoilsport.

So, after washing floors and dishes and things the only thing left to polish off the day was a round of clothes washing. So I did. It was a day of much soap and watery things. The last load is done and it's just sitting there nagging at me to hang it all up before I am allowed to creep in under that pile of clean clothes to my snuggly bed. Clothes piles are mean and nasty things.

But I was thinking... how lovely it would be to have a male slave. Not for screwy, silly stuff like sex. Geez... who are we kidding, women can do that better without a man getting in the way. A man slave would start his day making your breakfast and coffee and then cleaning it all up. All you would have to do is smell it and eat it. By the time you arise it's all clean and put away. You'd never know the kitchen was even used that morning.

Then man slave would be allowed to shower and whatever, leaving the sparkling clean bathroom for me whenever I finally decide to get up.

Yes, you knew it was a fantasy as soon as I wrote about a man who leaves a bathroom sparkling clean. It may sparkle, but it's not clean.

So that was my kind of day. Cleaning up, coffee drinking and fluffing off with the computer. I did listen to a few CD's this morning while the male slave was being delivered. Yeah, yeah... a grrl can daydream. A grrl does daydream, I talked to the imaginary male slave while I worked today. But, that's ok, no one heard but me.