I've been posting writing prompts to the Word Grrls blog awhile. I'm not sure what put the end of the world scenario into my brain but there it was.

If you were a kid during the Cold War times when we kept hearing about the bomb that was going to drop (from Russia, China or some other country behind the Iron Curtain) how does it still affect you? Even now that the Wall has gone do you just think the bomb (may as well call it that as anything else) will just be from another direction. Most of all, do you think you could be someone who would adapt and survive?

I'd like to survive, mainly just to see things in the changed civilization. But, I'd be really lucky in a glitchy way to stick around. I tend to pick up all kinds of odd illnesses, mostly virus stuff. So, my chances are about as great as the cockroach the first bomb lands on, nil to squished.

Here is the comment I made in Word Grrls. Would like to hear more thoughts about this and decided to post it here.

I remember it too, those years as a kid in the little grades, thinking about the bomb that was going to drop and end us all. Kind of a weird age to live in as a kid. I think even now that the wall has come down that feeling of impending possible doom is still hanging around. I guess it has just changed direction.

I'd take some food, mainly canned stuff and water. Some of that powder stuff you can pour in to make your water taste like lemonade cause I'd be sick of water pretty quick. I don't like it much now.

I'd really need a lot of paper, pens, coloured markers and pencil crayons. Various books. Maybe a ton of those classics which I always mean to read (feel I should read) but haven't so far.

Mostly, I'd like some way of staying alive long enough to see how things come back. I love reading those science fiction stories about how people get through disasters and rebuild. To live it would be really interesting. I don't think I'm a very good survivalist though. I'd be dead pretty quick from asthma, allergies or some weird virus.

After posting this I found a blog called Suburban Survivalist. Another blog found through Entrecard.

It's been quite awhile since I really wrote anything. Laziness? Possibly. I do think of things to write. Then something else distracts me. For instance, I am still working on a post for Thursday Thirteen. Kind of sad that is it now Saturday in some places in the world, 11:48 PM here. I'm trying to work on an article about rural exploration, which I actually wrote last year, wrote again a few months ago and have spinning around in my head again this week. I'd be so proud to see not only my article but my photos appear in one of our nationally well known Canadian publications, Canadian Living or Chatelaine. It's a lofty goal perhaps.

I went out on a couple of dates and didn't mention a thing about him. The first date was nice and I had hope for good things to come. I was wrong. He is ok but did not really show an interest in getting to know me. I asked about himself and he really only talked about a few special interests and did not answer about little things (not so little to me) that I wanted to know. Then we had a second date where he had to end it early for work, which was fine as he works on call. But then there was nothing except an email invite for kinky play.

I really want a relationship where I don't feel I'm alone, again. What is the point if you don't have someone you can talk to and know he is listening and actually cares about what you say? Maybe I will just never find anyone at this late stage in the dating game. All of the men I have tried to meet seem to end up in the same boat. None of them want to get to know me. I really want a guy I can spend time with, out of a bedroom. Don't men want that too? Sure I like sex and in past relationships (all two of them) I have lead in that area. But, I want more! I want romance! I want to be courted and have flowers brought when I get picked up. Yes, Eric did that once and that was lovely. But... it ended with me alone, abandoned without explanation. I had to tell him I was giving up on him and then he said something about why he had given up on me.

Anyway, relationships and dating posts are boring. Really. Aren't they all about the same? Do you really expect to find some great long lasting insight among all this space sucking babble? Good luck! I don't have anything figured out. When my life is perfect I'll get back to you with all those omniscient answers.

Tomorrow we are off early (early for me) to Elmvale. The town is a giant street/ garage sale. We are on the hunt for a summer bike for Zack, the 12 year old giant nephew. The boy is taller than I am now. Not right to call him a boy but he still has that boyishness and since he won't ever be in my age generation without the use of a time machine... he is stuck being the boy for awhile more at least.

Of course, I'd like to find another abandoned farm house during the trip.

Sadly, I am pretty much unemployed and having to watch my dollars. I found a $20 I had forgotten in my wallet yesterday so that was kind of sweet.

I do not want to get another job. I am sick of working. I just want to sit here and blog, write, watch brain killing TV (soap opera afternoons) and take road trips. Well, a few other things too but that's about it. I'm sick of customer service type junk. I'm so tired of obeying rules. How did old fashioned women stand taking the marriage vows knowing they were owned and had no rights. Even their children did not belong to them. I think it is strange that women went from primitive (though I think primitive is in doubt if they were bright enough to have a Matriarch) matriarchal societies to being servants in their own homes. How did we allow men to have the upper hand like that?

Doesn't it seem that women really do have a lot of power, in life. In the space of approximately nice months we cart around a new life. In that time we can decide to keep that life or let it go. Drastic yes. But, in some cases a woman should think of her own self preservation and that of the child to be born into the same world she lives in.

Although, I really don't think things between men and women should be about power. Or who is greater, etc. We need each other. In cases where men and women understand that I think the relationship can really flourish. So, here we are back to that dating thing again. Ick!

I should be shutting the computer down. It's been making more noise than it should be. I keep wondering what it is that is running against my wishes or directions. Windows has really evolved into a little monster. You never really know what the MS creature inside your computer is doing. Likely eating sections of my hard drive on a whim.

It is getting hotter tonight. I thought it was decent all day. Warm and muggy outside but I hid in here under the fan all day and it just seemed breezy to me. Now it is after midnight and it seems the heat has leaked into my sanctuary. I'm anti summer when it comes to heat and humidity. I'd rather have a snowstorm, a blizzard would be just peachy too. The only redeeming feature of summer is the greenery and edibles, peaches come to mind right away. I was thinking of peach pie yesterday. Nothing like peach pie made at home.

Well, this should be enough babble for anyone to read. Likely you are all drooling over your keyboards or shaking your head in an effort to keep your eyes from closing. Wake up and get a fresh coffee or get to bed. Nightie night blogging people.

I'm a bit out out commission. My left arm has a little vampire attached, for another 3 days. My left leg, below the knee, has a flesh eating bacteria. If you really must know it's not as bad as it was when it was looking like flesh pudding on Thursday. I went to the hospital on Friday, they put me in isolation for three hours. But I left after I had flesh preserving antibiotics and a new little vampire friend attached to my arm, neatly covered in gauze.

The bacteria that wants to eat me is called cellulitis. Should you want to find out more Wikipedia even has photos. I considered photos myself but decided to just draw it, a couple of times so far. Does anyone really know what bacteria looks like?

I don't know just how I got it. Anyone can. A little wound or small hole in the skin and the bacteria can creep in. If I hadn't been so dead sick on Tuesday and Wednesday I might have gone in to get the creeping flesh pudding on my leg checked out sooner. But, it really just started as a sore leg, then a reddish skin leg which was hot to the touch. Who would think that was anything serious? I didn't.

But, I was pretty much not on the planet until Thursday. That was when I managed to do something other than sleep, shiver and puke. On Thursday the calf of my leg was flaming red (all but oozing) and a lot less than attractive looking. (I'd go into detail but really, flesh pudding like something out of a horror movie, just works so well). But I still wasn't sure about going anywhere to get it looked at. I always think these kind of things will just fix themselves or that I can fix them if I just find the right stuff.

It's not fun to type with an IV vampire hooker thing in my arm. It's weird to feel it move. Though I think/ hope some of that is just the tape attached to my skin around it. Can't see it under the gauze and I'm ok with keeping it covered. Out of sight if not out of mind.

So I'm not doing as much blogging or Entrecarding or whatever it is I do when I'm here. I need to catch up on WordGrrls tomorrow. Also write something for a few other sites and places. At least I caught up my blog! Likely it wasn't the most important thing on my list, but it was the one I most wanted to do.

Typing is over for tonight. Sleep well and be nice to any little vampires you might have yourself. They may not be especially nice but they want to be good.

I have encountered a new guy. Can't say we have met as we have not met yet. We will be having breakfast/ brunch on Thursday. He is widowed with a 19 year old daughter. He does insurance for refurbished boats. Sounds like someone I could like.

What I have not told my Mother is just how we encountered each other and what other thing I know about him that I probably won't tell her. I will whisper it to you... shh, keep it to yourself. We met on an adult personals site and he likes to be a sissy, frills and all. You may be thinking this is something I can not do, could not be interested in... and yet... I am. Not sure about it 100%. But, I always did say I would marry a guy who could have a maid to do the housework. So, isn't this my way of keeping my promise to myself, in my own weird way.

People don't talk about fetishes and what they like along with sex. I'm not a porn star, nympho type. But, I do know that I am not entirely straight forward. Yet, I don't feel entirely comfortable to write about it. I know my Mom and sisters think cock sucking is dirty, not something they would do. I'm a bit on the fence there. My ex wasn't very clean and that does stick in your mind. But, I do like being in control. I do like being the one sitting with a wicked grin while he sweats and moans.

On the other hand... a man who will perform pedicures, bake cookies and clean the washroom as sexual foreplay isn't all bad. Of course, not all of those at the same time or order.

I used to write adult content for the adult part of backwash.com. I used to write adult stories for a man I liked online. It wasn't icky. How could it be as long as I was in charge. I could almost be a born again virgin if I didn't want to get rid of the title quite so much. Yes, I like sex. When it's done well. To my specifications. Having a little man to boss around could be a good thing.

But, like I wrote, we have yet to actually meet. There's a long way to go from bacon and eggs to letting him fluff my pillows or wash my windows. Still, as nice and pleasant and polite as I am... there is a part of me that just likes being evil, wicked and shocking. How suitable to have someone who wants that rather than someone who will think I'm peculiar and undesirable.

Ducks are evil minions. You've just added the finishing touch to your backyard pond... the goldfish. You watch them swim around a bit and then go inside to make coffee and admire your pond from the kitchen window. It gets dark and you go to bed eventually.

In the morning as you are puttering around in the kitchen you notice several wild ducks in your pond. They never bothered with your pond before. Suddenly, realizing the only thing different about today is the goldfish and noticing that those ducks keep diving under and digging around...

So, how do you cook and serve all those ducks? Keep in mind wild duck can be kind of gamey tasting...