I feel like I'm not quite living on the planet along with everyone else these days. I'm daydreaming more cause they are such simple things. Instant pleasure, no complications and completely under my own control. (I can do all kinds of things with Keanu and he is quite happy about it all).

In reality... I have bills stacking up (I don't owe anything as of this month but next month they will all slide together and start attacking me). I don't have any income. Which is really bothering me as far as that whole bill paying thing.

Can you believe a Keanu Reeves movie just came on?.. Sure I'm watching the Space Station, have been most of the night. But what an odd coincidence. He always has good timing in my daydreams too.

Anyway, back to reality. I have the option (if I can figure it out) to retrain and have the course paid for. I have to figure out where the course I want to take is and how long I can manage to go back to school. Not just time and money but the fact of being back at school when I'm about to turn 44.

There's another little dose of reality, 44. Not just a double digit but repeating itself. Would be ok if it were 33, that doesn't seem so bad. I can't hide from my birthday now that it is nearly December.

I really don't like job hunting. But, there isn't another way to get another job. I really don't know how I can do another customer service job. I'm so burnt out on all of that. Just makes me cringe to think about doing all that again for another company, another location and through the Barrie winter too. Bus rides are just not that popular when the snow is up past your knees and the bus routes tend to get shut down each time it snows really hard.

In general I'm dreading having to make all these decisions. Still have the excuse of gathering the facts. But that can't go on for much longer.

Whatever happens will happen though and I will be here to see it. Sometimes you can pretend you are just on the sidelines to your own life and look at it with the nice shiny rose coloured glasses. Makes it a lot easier and saves you extra stress. I do that a lot. Keanu doesn't mind.

In twenty years what would you like to tell someone that you can't say now? Why does time sometimes make it easier? 20 Years Late (From a Friend's FaceBook).

Hey mom I know that it's late, hope I didn't wake you Yeah, everything is O.K., just needed to talk to you Today I had one of those days But I didn't call to complain Just to say everything that I didn't for all of those years You were a taxicab driver, a nurse and a maid A waitress, a cook and a shoulder to lay My head on to cry on, when nothing was going my way You knew every answer without cracking a book And I took for granted that I had it so good And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say Thank you I love you Twenty years late

It's funny how time passing by can change your perspective A little while out on your own can sure make you think I don't know how you did it No I can't find one spare minute The days run together but I don't remember you Ever letting us down

You were the judge and the jury when I did wrong Been my biggest fan from my very first song The gas in the engine that always kept me moving on A seamstress a counselor and the one referee That could cold stop a fight between my brothers and me And I'm sorry it's taken me so long to say Thank you I love you Twenty years late

I'll let you go now But I hope that you know now how I feel Thank you for making me the woman I've become I love you and I will always be your daughter Mom that's all I called to say 20 years late...

Izabela tagged me with this meme:

THE RULES

1. Link to your tagger and list all these rules in your blog.
2. Share 7 facts about yourself on your blog, some random, some weird.
3. Tag 7 people at the end of your post by including links to their blogs.
4. Let them know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blogs.

FACTS ABOUT ME:

1. I like to create elegant gowns (in my imagination) which I would wear to the Oscar Awards when I attend with Keanu Reeves. I always look fabulous!
2. I love chocolate, vanilla and caramel. Together, when possible, even in coffee flavours.
3. I would rather have a good coffee (latte) than any kind of alcoholic beverage. I'm usually the only one ordering coffee when I go to a bar. That's why I seldom go to bars, just not my thing. People must think I'm a recovering alcoholic, I'm not, I just prefer coffee.
4. When I was a teenager I promised myself I'd never be one of those women who colours her hair. I loved my natural colour. Never say never.
5. My nephew likes to hold my hand and pick my fingernails. I don't know why. Having my fingernails picked gives me major ick factor and I always yank my hand away.
6. I really, really do want a time machine or to be immortal and live forever at the age I am now. I'd settle for being a shapeshifter, maybe. You can't have everything.
7. I'd like to live as a vagabond or nomad, traveling all over the world as long as I had a home base to come back to and stash my computer, books and other essential treasures.

Consider yourself tagged to continue on. Much evil laughter.

There are times when he looks pretty scruffy, pretty ordinary or not even that good. There are times when he looks like your brother, nice but a goof cause you know him too well and all the mystery is gone. There are times when he looks like a movie star and a leading man. But, there is something about Keanu and no matter what other manbots come along he is still the main manbot and I still just like something about him, more than just the way he looks.

On Flickr: Keanu Reeves and Loving Keanu Reeves.

My favorite age: The current age. As much as I like castles and drooling over weird and sexy space creatures I think I'm best to be right where I am.

My best friend(s): I don't keep friends very long.

My celebrity crush: Keanu Reeves, for his mind.

My defining characteristic: My neck, it saves me from having to carry my head around. (A Halloween moment).

My most evil moment: Evil?... Me? You must be dreaming.

My favorite food: really good ice cream.

My grossest injury: A nail through my foot.

My biggest hatred: People who think they are superior to the rest of the masses.

My most illegal activity: Shoplifting. It was a long time ago.

My need for justice: Only if Justice is really cute and brings me flowers.

My most knowledgeable field: I'm sure I could grow a field of mint. It's pretty easy.

My life’s goal: I'm just not that organized.

My mother’s influence: Constant and enduring.

My nerdiest point: In spite of everything I'm still optimistic.

My oldest memory: Sitting on a swing set by myself at school in Kincardine, Ontario. I think it would have been preschool age. It was another year or more before I found the co-ordination to make the swing go anywhere.

My perfect date: I've given up on that one. I'd settle for good conversation with a guy who isn't just a walking penis.

My unanswered question: Which one?

My random fact: I miss being 42 cause for one year I was the answer to life, the universe and everything.

My stupidest decision: Hard to pick just one. Yet I stand by even my lamest moments cause I was making the best decision I could at the time.

My favorite television show: Maybe Doctor Who these days. I used to love Gilmore Girls but it's off the air now.

My style of underwear: Cotton and pretty.

My favorite vegetable: Raw carrots.

My weakest trait: The feeling of powerlessness.

My X-men power: Invisibility and/ or shapeshifting. Time travel would be a nice side too.

My strongest yearning: Money and lots of it, enough to never have to worry about it again.

My moment of Zen: I don't have any of those. I'm just too wicked I guess.