I looked online for a new office chair for myself. I have a vintage chair from the 40's or earlier but it's too firm on the seat and not as comfortable as I would like for a lot of sitting. I spend a lot of my day in this chair working on writing, promoting and maintaining sites and assorted and various other things people do when they work on the computer all day. Lately I've been getting swollen ankles and feet. So, the hunt was on to find a new chair.

What I concluded is that I have to test the chair myself and shopping online isn't really going to work for me. I did find one chair I really liked and would have bought, but I don't have the payment options to make it work. (You can see the chair in the photo with this article).

For most large sized people the average office chair is not enough. I've had wheels break off and the chair padding is feeble or too thin and I don't feel comfortable. So, a large person (big and tall) needs a better made chair, sturdier and with consideration for ergonomics.

What to Look for in a Sturdy Office Chair

Some of us weigh more than the 200 pounds which most office chairs are designed for. Then there are those who work a lot in their office chair and would like a sturdier chair just to have a long lasting, dependable chair. Either way, a sturdy office chair will cost more than the average office chair. I found the price range was at least $200 - $400 (not including taxes).

It was not easy to find a chair which I liked and seemed sturdy enough. The information online at many stores did not include how much weight the chair was designed for. So, any time the information is not there, assume the chair is not made for a big sized person.

Armrests. Is there enough space between the armrests for you to sit comfortably between them? If not, are they removable? If you really want a chair with armrests you will have to watch this. If you don't care for them especially you can remove them if they are not comfortable for you.

Wheels. Do you trust plastic wheels to roll and not eventually crack? Almost every chair I looked at has plastic wheels This is a downfall of modern manufacturing. If you want to avoid plastic wheels, look for vintage office furniture. It isn't likely to be sold in the average office supplies store and they probably won't have a weight standard available. But, vintage chairs were usually made to last, sturdy and more metal based.

Materials. Plastic is not the plus sized person's best option for most things, office chairs included. Look for a chair which has a metal frame for sturdiness. Also, the seat covering should be something which will stand up to time. However, you can recover the chair at a later time if you need to. The frame is the important part.

Padding. Likely you will be spending time sitting in your office chair, that's the point of having a good chair. The padding needs to be something strong and durable which can give your body some support. It is not comfortable sitting in a chair which causes your legs, ankles and feet to become swollen. Look into ergonomic chairs. Even if you do get up and walk around, drink water, all the things they say you should do - the fact is you will still be spending a lot of time working in that chair and you need better than average padding.

Adjustments. An office chair you are spending money on (as you will be for a larger, sturdier built chair) should be adjustable. This is important too for the height of the chair for your legs. You should be able to have your feet on the floor in a way which will be comfortable and not strain your back or knees. If you are able to test the chair see how adjustable it is. Can you remove the arms or move them farther apart? Is it easy to move the seat higher and lower and does it stay that way once it is moved? On some chairs you could even remove the back if you find it is not comfortable.

Back. Do you like a thickly padded back, or a tall back or a shorter chair back. Some of them will even have a headrest. Some backs will tilt. I never used this myself, it always made me feel the chair was tipping too far back. If you can test the chair before you buy it (if you aren't online shopping) see how the chair back works.

This is going to be a chair you keep for the long term. Check if you can easily replace parts like the wheels and the fabric or leather covering. Is this a chair which can easily be refurbished or restored?

The traditional gifts for your Valentine, on Valentine's Day are chocolates, flowers and jewelry. Then you might take her (or him) out for dinner, dancing, and if all works out well, a romantic night at home. That's the ideal we see in magazines and movies. But, those people have script writers, set designers and wardrobe/ costume artists. Those of us ordinary humans just have out own wits, instincts and whatever romantic notions we have scraped together.

Chocolates and flowers aren't so complicated. The stores have them all lined up in tidy rows for you to pick them up, pay and take them home. There isn't even much guess work any more. Does she like chocolate, likely? From there you have a choice between the standard milk chocolate or the more trendy and intimate, dark chocolate. In the case of flowers, you don't need to worry about those at all if she has allergies. If not, the standard roses are nice. Don't buy them from the grocery store or the gas station - those tend to fade too quickly. Carnations are a safer bet and much less expensive than roses on Valentine's Day.

Now that leaves you at jewelry. You don't have to spend your entire pay cheque to buy jewelry. You do need to know some basics about your Valentine: her style, her ring size and if she actually wears jewelry, for instance.

Picking Out Valentine Jewelry

First of all, does she wear jewelry? Not everyone wears jewelry, man or woman. If you haven't noticed, start looking.

What kind of jewelry does she (or he) wear? Rings, brooches, necklaces, pins, earrings, bracelet, etc.? Then there is a whole category of jewelry for the body piercing types like nose rings. I'm not an expert on that and I don't know all the right names for most of the jewelry worn in belly buttons, on toes and other, more intimate places of the human body.

Next thing you need to know, if she does wear jewelry - is there an allergy or sensitivity to something like silver or gold, or any kind of man made substance? You will probably have to just come out and ask about that. If you get it wrong he or she will never be able to wear something that causes their skin to break out.

You also need to spend time and observe her style of jewelry, fashion in general. Does she like pink, frilly, girlie stuff? Does she prefer a professional image with something not so flashy, pink or trendy? Maybe she loves anything that shines and sparkles in a rainbow of colours. This is important to know when you begin looking at Valentine jewelry. There is no point in spending money on something that doesn't appeal to her sense of style and taste. Also, it will impress her that you were actually paying attention and know her so well.

When you look at the actual jewelry and you are thinking about the financial side of things, also consider how well it is made. There should be a reliable fastening, there should be no rough edges which will catch on clothing and watch for loose stones, or anything that doesn't seem right. Don't waste your money on something that will fall apart. Also, this is the time to know a bit about cheap man made metals which turn green and leave her finger, wrist, whatever green as well. In general, avoid cheap junk and you will be fine. However, back yourself up by making sure the seller offers a decent money back guarantee.

Some jewelry, rings in particular, you will need to know a size for. A necklace has different lengths. Chances are she has pierced ears for earrings, but this is something else you need to be observant about before you buy them. If you want to keep this a surprise you can either stick with something safe like a brooch or get a gift receipt at the store so she can come back and exchange it for the right size. It is better if you can avoid the gift receipt, you want her to think you picked out just the right romantic Valentine jewelry because you know what she likes after all.

Gift Wrapping and a Word of Warning

Gift wrapping counts.

One word of warning first, unless you actually are giving her an engagement ring on Valentine's Day - do not wrap up your gift in a small square shaped box like a ring. Don't raise her expectations, not even because you think it will be funny. This is not a joke that will turn out well for you. Even if she laughs a bit at the time - she isn't laughing on the inside and you have gotten her started thinking about weddings, marriage, and all of that. Was that something you wanted to start? If the answer is no, avoid bringing up the question.

You can easily find a great way to wrap up a Valentine jewelry gift. The store you bought it from should have a service to do this. That is the easiest way.

Use a thick, fabric ribbon and tie the jewelry to an empty box as if it were the garnish. Put a note inside the box with some romantic thoughts and (if you like) an invitation to dinner or a coupon for a hug, kiss, etc. (Make sure the jewelry is securely on the box but don't use glue or anything which you can't easily remove or anything which could damage the jewelry).

You can also buy a gift bag at another store. You can wrap it up in a scarf (one of those silky types). Buy dish drying towels at the Dollar Store and wrap it up in one of those, as a little joke. Tie it up with ribbon to make it pretty and let her think you didn't spend much - until she opens it. Plus, who can't use another dish towel around? You can find endless gift wrapping ideas online.

Seeing Yourself as a Modern Spinster

The best women in romance stories are those with careers, friends, a place of their own and other things I don't always have yet myself. I love to read about these women. They are already happy in their lives before Mr. Anything comes along. I want to be that woman. No doubt I read those books just to see myself in that life. Well, the writing and humour are good too.

It's kind of sad that when you look up "single women" or "single woman" online you get dating advice. In between being told how important it is to find a man there are a few financial tips. So, not only are we sad and lonely but we are poor too. Or, if not poor we don't know how to handle our money.

In fact, being single means taking on my of these things, the elements of dealing with day to day life. We learn how to do our own financial things, our own home repairs, our own cooking, cleaning and landscaping too if we need to. Anything we can't do ourselves we can get help or hire help, just like anyone else.

Living alone gives you freedom to do things your own way. I like knowing everything will be exactly where I left it. Of course, that can be a downside too. It's nice to have someone else tidy up the breakfast dishes some days when you just get sick of doing everything least thing yourself. Those are the days you look for shortcuts, like paper plates and eating over the sink instead of sitting at the table. Shortcuts are ok. But, you don't want to become used to living that way. As if you're just a nomad in your own home.

Things You Miss Out on if you Never Live Alone at Least Once in Your Life

1. Taking to yourself. It sounds silly but I like talking to myself. I like hearing the sound of my own voice when there is no one to give me odd looks, start arguing with me or interrupting me when I speak. Plus, I can give myself the greatest compliments and not care how honest or sincere they are.
2. Finding out how neat or messy you really are. There's no one to impress but yourself. No one to tidy up or make the mess, but you. When you live alone you might start off with great habits for decluttering and cleaning but end up discovering your inner clutter bug far too easily.
3. You never have to wait for the bathroom or the shower. You don't even have to share the bed or find yourself shivering because someone else rolled up into a cocoon with all the blankets. The best thing is taking your time in the shower, having a hot shower whenever you want and you can walk out of there still wet without having to struggle your damp body into any kind of clothing - not even underwear or a bathrobe.
4. Decorate your place however you want to and change it around as often as you can manage to spend the money or make yourself move the furniture. Add throw pillows in neon green and pink if you like. Paint the kitchen space blood red or try your hand at some DIY renovations and stick up some fancy wallpaper.
5. Finish the last of the milk in your cereal just because it's there. You don't need to ask if anyone else wants you to make them something for dinner and listen to what they do and do not want. If you have food dislikes or allergies it's really nice not having to explain them to someone else or pick those icky mushroom bits off your pizza. You can even try being your own chef, experiment with cooking and baking new ingredients. It's also really nice to try dieting and not have someone telling on you.

Patiently Quiet and Still

One of the best things about being a single woman is being alone. I absorb the quiet, the sense of being in my own place by myself. It is nice. I'm alone but far from lonely. I think it is one of the things you really only appreciate when you don't have it for awhile.

Like when I babysit for my sister a couple of days. When I get home again the first thing I feel is that quiet, the atmosphere of peace and patience. My place is just patiently waiting for me to decide what I want to do next. I can take an hour, just doing nothing at all if I want to.

Tips for Living Alone

• Your home, no matter how small or messy, is your refuge, your shelter and the place where you keep your stuff. Make your home welcoming at the end of the day. Keep things organized so you won't get lost in your own clutter. Live by the mantra 'a place for everything and everything in it's place'.
• Pick everything in your home from the big things like furniture to the small things like tea towels for yourself. Use the patterns you want, the style you like and whatever works for you in a practical way.
• Add extra touches to brighten up your home and your favourite places like a reading area, your bedroom, kitchen and bathroom.
• Take care of yourself. Exercise, eat well, get enough sleep and keep basics like aspirin in stock. Try vitamins and see which work for you.
• Keep active. Not just exercising but have interests and hobbies outside of work. Have a regular group of people you spend time with, especially if you don't have many friends. Keep acquaintances, if not friends.
• Don't become a home body. Get out there and do something each day, even if it's just picking up groceries, mailing a letter, or taking a walk around the block for no reason but to be outside.
• If you want a pet but can't have one where you live get a pretend pet. All you really need somedays is to just see something else with a face, other than your own. I have a stuffed dog, Coffee, from my niece. (I don't even like dogs).

Spinsters Are Not Alone

• Spinster Jane

• Solitary Spinster

I come from a family where they say, "If I can take it why would I buy it?" This is why I seldom trust anyone and I have tried to find every sneaky angle that can be used against me any time I have to rely on someone else. I do not like being tricked or robbed.

The real irony is that one half of my family were law breakers and the other half law makers. I'm sure there have always been people who jumped the fence, on either side. In my case, I'm more of a law maker who does not entirely trust or respect authority.

This whole thing drives me crazy when it comes to selling anything, like art, online. It is all too easy to rip off. Everything I look at is very flawed. Even if I did go ahead and try it anyway my family will be telling that it isn't going to make any money. Most of them have been in sales. But they don't give me help with selling anything, just insist that everything online is free for the taking.

I think its hopeless. But I keep trying, or sort of trying. It's how I live most of my life.

"How will it make any money?" You have no idea how irritating, to the point of near insanity, that question is after all these years. Why does everything have to be about money? Money, and people are two things I would like not to have. Money, in the way of not needing it by having enough that I don't have to care about it. People, in the way of not having to have them around.

More people seem to be developing this kind of allergic reaction to people. How long will it take before the only time we communicate is through electronics, not face to face? I don't own/ have a mobile phone. Almost everyone else around me has one, or more. I'm not a phone person. Just hearing it ring (the house phone) makes me cringe. But, I laugh (out loud even) at the progress of mobile phones.

From an actual phone to texting only now. Texting, is just a more expensive way to send an email. I'm never going to be addicted to a mobile phone, or any other phone. I'm too happy to not have anyone contacting me. Twitter works. It's silent and I can look at it, or not. Undemanding.

But, I still don't know how I am going to sell my art online. I don't think I am ever going to find a way to avoid having it stolen. I don't have the social skills, or the liking for them, to be a great sales person for myself.

"How will it make any money?"  I can feel myself on a Medieval stretching wrack, pulled tighter and tighter. If not for that sound track, could I manage to actually get somewhere? I will never know, not likely.

My family are all very stubborn, in their ways. Mine is that I can not seem to just give up, no matter how many times I say that I am.

Starting with history itself, then onto urban exploration. I like things that have out lived their usefulness, or their popularity might be more of how I feel about them. An appreciation for neglect of some kind.

I also like keeping things on Blogger blogs. I don't believe they are going to have a sudden, great comeback. Though I would like to see it happen. Blogger blogs are good for keeping things you don't want to lose. I have all kinds of sub-topics and niche ideas tucked away on Blogger blogs.

I think it is an inability to let go, or give up.