Being a mature adult is about mastering yourself and your domain. It's not simple or easy but young women can manage as they grow up from being children to adults. We can take on more, become successful and then even encourage others to do the same. A woman is an asset to herself, family, friends, and community.

Learn to be self reliant and competent, have common sense and understanding. No one person can be everything, omnipotent. Don't put too many expectations on yourself or make more promises than you are able to keep.

Say no when you need to, or at times just because you really want to. Don't be pressured into taking on more than you can handle or giving more than you want taken. People in need will sometimes ask for too much - it's not for you as an individual to solve or fix everything.

Mind your manners, be punctual and be away of your posture and body language. You can look confident and poised even if you feel like a wreck inside.

Do grown up things: get a job, pay your own bills, open a bank account, get a passport and all the other paperwork which a young adult can do for themselves now that you are no longer a child.

As you work towards being mature don't lose one of the best things from your younger days, your creativity. Whether you work at arts and crafts with children of your own, or take up photography, or something trendy and creative - keep dabbling into the creative side of your brain. Don't let this valuable part of you fall into disuse. It's part of what makes us feel alive.

Is Advice Worth Giving?

• Do young women listen to advice from other women?
• Yes, other women have experience and insight which can be a good thing.
• Yes, but it's still up to each young woman to make her own decisions.
• No, free advice is worth every penny.
• No, I don't want to feel instructed and told what to do.

How you Look Reflects Who you Are

Be clean, tidy, well groomed and dress well appropriately. Yes you have curves and you look young and pretty. This is the time in your life when you will want to look your age, because your age is young and considered to be the most desirable for a woman.

However, have respect for yourself and don't go overboard. High heels, cosmetics, jewellery and short skirts don't make you a woman. What are you trying to prove (and who are you trying to prove it to) when your clothing reveals too much? It shows a lack of confidence when young women dress like someone craving attention. Much better to keep some mystery than to flaunt everything you've got and have nothing in reserve for later.

Too often young women are out in public wearing far less than the men they are with. It looks very mismatched. Young women should be aware, the person wearing more clothing with less of themselves revealed is the person with more power. The person with less clothing appears subservient needing to please. Is that really the impression a young woman wants to make?

The More you Can do for Yourself the More Power you Have

Get and keep a set of basic tools for home repairs. Learn how to use them. You should at least know how to fix simple things around your home.

Find a guide to home repairs and learn how to handle the tools. Then look around your home and see what could be fixed or repaired. Screw in a doorknob which has come loose. Tighten up a woobly wooden chair. Hang pictures up straight and at the right height for viewing them. Paint your walls a different colour. Add a hand railing to the shower. The more you learn and are able to do the better.

At some point you might get into creating something like furniture or restoring furniture if you find you enjoy working with the tools and seeing how much you can do. This is the kind of work that tends to stay done.

Learn how to keep your vehicle maintained too, if you have one. Rather than letting people at the garage tell you what you need done, know enough to at least understand how the parts run and work. As a young woman you have a better chance of not being taken advantage of if you aren't clueless when you walk in the door.

Don't Ignore the Traditional Women's Skills

Learn basic skills which women are still expected to know and do. But not for those reasons. Home sewing and mending, cooking and cleaning may be traditionally thought of as women's work but they are still valid in modern times. If you can sew on your own buttons, hem your pants, cook up a good dinner, maybe even can your own peaches and then clean it all up afterwards, you are ahead of so many others who find these skills beyond them (or beneath them).

Sewing skills are simple. It's not something you should need to pay someone else to do. Also, if you can't find the time to sew on a button, you really need to rethink your schedule. A little sewing is nice while you watch TV or have time to yourself in the evening. Just because these are old fashioned skills does not make them less important.

Cooking can also be enjoyable and give you a feeling of accomplishment with something practical. Baking is an extra element, a facet of cooking which requires more careful measuring and knowledge. With most cooking you have some leeway - however most baking will not turn out well if you add a little of this and forget to have the oven ready before you put in the cake batter. Baking is especially good for proving we need to follow the directions at times.

Cleaning is women's work which is never done, literally. I think this is why cleaning is still not popular with men. They like to sit back and see a job well done and have it stay that way. Cleaning up never stays done. Laundry must be washed, then put away and then worn to be washed and put away again. Dishes are brought out to be used and must then be washed, and put away until they are used again. Floors are forever having bits of stuff fallen on them. If you doubt the work of cleaning to be eternal, just look around you. There's a door handle to clean. There's a window with fingerprints. There's the curtains which need to be washed. There's the... It's endless and bottomless and it all needs to be done. For yourself, if no one else.

Why wear a mood ring? Why not. Mood rings can be a mystery, a mood indicator, vintage fashion, or just colourful and a conversation starter. Mood rings were created in the 1970s, they use chemicals and temperature changes to indicate the mood of the ring wearer.

You may not know what a mood ring is. The rings were around in the 1970s and 1980s as rings which changed colours according to your mood. I had one. It did change colours but according to my mood ring I was never in a good mood. Of course, it might not help that my ring tended to suffer frequent water damage and I have always enjoyed cool/ cold weather. I think long walks on a cold and rainy day would have a negative effect on a mood ring - though it left me feeling pretty great.

My sisters had mood rings too. We would check our rings (they had to be worn in order to show results) at different times over the day and compare the colours. The rings came with instructions which explained what the colours meant.

It was fun and interesting (a great way to pass the time on long car rides) but not very efficient as a mood tracker. I wouldn't trust a mood ring as a way to evaluate anyone's mood. But, they were fun, colourful (most often shades of blue and violet for my sisters and I).

What are Mood Rings?

Two New York inventors, Josh Reynolds and Maris Ambats created mood rings in 1975. Mood rings were a fad of the 1970s but had a little comeback in the 1980s.

The mood ring stone is a hollow quartz or glass shell containing thermotropic liquid crystals. A strip of crystals with a protective coating. Temperature changes cause the crystals to absorb or reflect light and they change colour.

If you feel happiness or passion your body temperature increases and the crystals reflect blue. Stress or excitement will cause blood to flow less on the body surface and the skin temperature cools down a little so the crystals reflect less light and become more yellow. If the ring is damaged (water tended to finish off many a mood ring) or in cold temperatures, the stone would be unresponsive, showing a dark grey or black stone.

Mood Ring Colours and Their Meanings

• violet - romantic or happy
• blue - relaxed or calm
• green - peaceful
• yellow- imaginative
• amber - excited or tense
• brown - restless
• gray - anxious or nervous
• red - excited and energized
• pink - uncertain or fearful
• lilac - sensual or clarity
• black - very stressed

I have read every book in the Lords of the Underworld series. I just finished ‘The Darkest Craving’ (Gena Showalter’s latest in the Lord’s of the Underworld series) while sitting in my favourite breakfast restaurant.

All of Gena Showalter’s books are all too easy to get into. She has a writing style which you fall into. When you actually pull yourself out of the story and look around you, it’s dark… maybe the weather has changed and did you really need to catch that bus, keep that appointment, get out of bed that morning anyway?…

The Lord’s of the Underworld are immortal warriors (and yes, I know you’ve heard that one before, stick with me) they open Pandora’s box, let out various and assorted evils into the unsuspecting world. In penance, they are each given one of the evils which they released. The rest are given to others who were prisoners in the same underworld realm at the time. Each Lord of the Underworld was created fully grown, in order to be a warrior. So they have no family, no childhood, but they do have each other – and of course, the great women they meet along the way.

Kane, the Keeper of Disaster Meets Josephina, the Blood Slave and Daughter to the Fae King

In this book the hero is Kane, the keeper of disaster. Disaster is the name (and always the focus) of the demon who lives inside Kane. So, every time Kane does something which makes him happy, Disaster causes terrible things to happen. Mostly, floors begin cracking as he is standing on them, I did think more could have been done with this in the book but it wasn’t a big issue for me.

Kane meets Josephina Aisling. He calls her Tinker Bell, or Tink. A theme with so many romance books is past pain, abuse and so on. This is true for Josephina and Kane as well. (Sometimes I find this theme gets a bit tiresome but the writing, the story and the characters save this book from falling off my list of books I will always read).

Josephina and Kane like each other right away, though Josephina actually saved Kane from hell and asked that he kill her as payment. She wants to stop being the whipping girl for her sister who lives with the rest of her family in the lands of Fae. Kane, recovering from abuse in hell and feeling the guy always left out from his group of warrior friends, feels he has finally found the woman who is “mine”.

Of course, all ends well. Kane and Josephina rule the lands of the Fae together and the bad king and queen are locked away in the dungeons under the palace. The evil brother and the disinterested sister have a story of their own and will likely appear in another book in the Gena Showalter, Lords of the Underworld series.

If you want to find a paranormal romance series you can really enjoy reading, this is your series. But, it is a light read, not a lot of depth to the story and I find the abuse which the characters suffer is glossed off rather than actually dealt with. They fall in love and all become right with the world. Taken as a good read, you will not find many which will as great as this book and the others in the series.

Get into the Lords of the Underworld series one (or more) book at a time.

My favourite of the Lords of the Underworld warriors has been Gideon, the keeper of lies. I've listed this book below. Or, you can get into the series with the first three books, or go for more and get the bigger collection if you have time for a lot of reading. These books are hard to put down.

This is the only thing I've posted to the Medium site. I think about writing more, but I'm not sure how personal I want to be outside of this site which isn't likely to be read by anyone. So I post here.

It starts out small. You don’t suspect at all. One day you just have a bit more stuff than space, more stuff than time or energy. So you make a pile of it. Maybe on the seat of a chair, a stack on a shelf, a junk drawer in the kitchen. A few things tossed on your bed while you tidy up the rest of the room.

Hoarding comes along easy.

That pile of stuff on the chair doesn't get dealt with and next time you want to use the chair the stuff is in the way. A minor annoyance so you stash it somewhere else. A temporary fix, right?

Sometimes you may get caught up and avoid the start of a hoard. Usually you don’t. I don’t. I have a stash of unfinished work on nearly every surface available in my bedroom, most of the floor space is taken up with bags of stuff to do. I also have books, some tidy and organized on their shelves and some in stacks on the floor, or in bags. The non-fiction books are things I wanted to do, the person I thought I could be.

The rest of the house is tidy. Right now. I don’t live alone half the year. But, that’s part of the problem too. She is a clutter freak. Anything left out bothers her. I like having my coffee pot and the coffee grinder out on the kitchen counter. Why not, I use them every day at least once. I clean up any spilled coffee grounds or drips from the pot. There is no mess, just two pieces of kitchen gadgets out in open space. It took time but I’m now allowed to have them out.

Anything else I want to keep must be stashed away. This means adding it to other stashes, stacks and piles of stuff in my room. Stuff gets lost in there. It is a jungle of piles and stacks and stashes of assorted stuff I need or at least don’t want to have taken, thrown out, or lost.

Ironic that I keep things here to avoid losing them when I've long gotten past the point of being able to keep track and find much any more. But, its not forgotten. Things my (well intentioned) family have thrown away, I remember. Some more than others, of course.

Once, they threw away almost almost everything when I was away for a couple of weeks. I came back to an almost empty room. It was nice to see the floor but, there was nothing left of me in there. Privacy invaded. It was like I had died and they got rid of all my stuff along with burying my body. I felt like a walking corpse for a long time.

Hoarding happens when you need to hold on to things and run out of better options, or space.

Don’t think hoarding, keeping things, is taking the easy way out. Living this way is frustrating, for me more than anyone else. They may think whatever they like and they believe the problem is me. It is and yet it isn't just me.

A lot of the stuff here are things other people want me to do for them. Tasks and jobs and demands I have not found time or energy to do. Do you know the old joke about a round tuit? Look that one up. If you ever do find that legendary round tuit please send it to me when you’re done tuiting.

I need to say no but that isn't so simple. I won’t get into all of that. It’s an exercise in frustration to explain my need to be perfect and fix everything, do too much and prove myself to anyone who isn't inside my own head. So, just know that it is very hard for me to say no to family and friends who ask for simple, small favours. I add their projects, errands, lists, problems, and assorted other things to my hoard of to-do.

I don’t think anyone outside of hoarders can understand the pressure of having too much stuff around them. It weighs on you, it pushes against you and it limits you mentally, emotionally and physically too. I hate having just a small path trough my bedroom from the door to the bed with the computer desk being along that same path. I can’t put my clean clothes away because I can’t reach the closet. I can’t start tidying up because I no longer know where to begin. It’s all a chain. One thing leads to another and another. To pull one string means pulling another and finding a place to put the first string before I can pull the next string. But, there is no more room to put anything. A pile falls over and that is a frustrating and hopeless feeling.

I toss a pile of papers and old photos onto another stack of papers piled up on the floor. Another task demanded and no time or energy to do it. Another weight added to the pressure. Another layer added to the stuff I already can’t deal with! It lands atop the other stuff and I’m angry because this was demanded of me and I know I can’t do more and this is just more of more.

People think a hoarder is an awful thing: dirty, miserable, derelict. I’m not any of those things. Not ever miserable. I live my life around this hoard and I try to function in spite of it all. I can’t let go and give up the things in this hoard which I actually value. I don’t want to give up on the person I thought I could be, the things I thought I would do. I can’t give up on the things I said I would do, even the things I never actually agreed to do. I feel pressure and guilt and anger. It’s depressing, oppressing.

A simple solution is to deal with some small part of it each day.

Seems simple enough. Until you start somewhere and get caught up in one thing for too long. One thing leads to another problem when you don’t have enough space to work in. Too many things are buried and it is frustrating to know they are there but out of reach. To begin finding what I need causes the moving of the hoard which means the things which were on top (the things I could locate) will now be moved and become the things I can’t find.

Hoarding is a trap.

During half the year when I live here alone I take a few days and then begin moving things out of my space and into another spare room. I get some clearance, some room to move and work. At first the release of having space and feeling hope again is just nice in itself. I haven’t thrown anything away but I have space again. Having space makes me feel I have some control, and can actually do something about all of it.

I make some progress. Last time I began with clothes. I sorted out a lot of clothes I haven’t worn in years and those which I won't be wearing now that I’m no longer 20-something. I had them all ready to go to the Salvation Army thrift store. I felt good thinking some other woman would be able to wear those clothes. But, I got caught up in road blocks.

I was stopped from giving away the clothes because other people thought I shouldn't just give them away. “You can’t just give away something that still has value! Some day you may fit into that again. That dress used to look so great on you”.

Isn't that funny? I thought I was the hoarder.

There are women gamers who play DnD too. (People sometimes shorten the name, Dungeons and Dragons, to DnD).

There is so much to a game I can’t begin to describe and explain all of it. But, I do think this is a great game for women and families especially. It may have a reputation as a geeky game for a bunch of college boys. That is so limiting.

I played Dungeons & Dragons with my family in the 1980′s. My nephew played with young men and a few young women in high school too. I know there are women players out there. I would love to be part of a regular group of all women DnD players.

Essentially a role playing board game.

To play the game you need a group of people, at least three. One is the Dungeon Master and the other two are players.

The players create a character by choosing some elements and rolling a dice for others. This way no character is ever just like another character. The random chance of rolling the dice brings some unpredictability to the game. Not everything is in your control and levelling up becomes more important as your characters advances in the game. You will find yourself learning new skills as well. Map making and orientation are two great things I learned more about as I played DnD.

Then there is the Dungeon Master. It may sound sinister or creepy but the Dungeon Master (shortened to the DM at times) is the one who plans the route of the game, literally. The Dungeon Master creates a world, a campaign or a map (depending on how much time is available for the game) and the players venture into it.

Players explore the map one virtual step at a time. The DM has set up traps, treasure and monster for them to find along the way. Each step of the game can be a surprise, a puzzle to solve or players could muck up their map making and become very lost and confused. This is why you can’t just step into a game of DnD without setting things up ahead and learning at least something about map making.