Not tonight, I have a headache.

My car is turning traitor. We've been having such a nice building relationship and now, it's giving me some kind of brush off. I know it's a male car. Zack, my nephew, told me. He named it too "Red Eyes, Black Dragon". I think that's how it goes.

Anyway, for three days in a row the 'service engine soon' light has been coming on. I added oil the first day. The second day I bought coolant but didn't know where to stick it. So, I took Red in for service. I paid $30 to have the oil, air, filter treatment. I don't spend that kind of money on any beauty treatments for myself.

Anyway, I drove away from there thinking things were going to be okay again. Red and I would go back to our previous dependable relationship. But, no, what's this! That light is on again!

So, betrayed by my car. Of course it's the long weekend here so I won't be able to take Red in for more plastic surgery until Tuesday or Wednesday.

I feel so alone. If I had money I'd go out looking at other cars.

This newsletter is late cause I have several great ideas but no time to write them. Do you read the home and garden type magazines? I do. If only to look at what can be done by someone with more space, money and time than I have. It's like the whole Martha Stewart thing. It all looks so good. You know, even if you can't do all of that yourself it's great fun to see someone else doing it all. She really is fun to watch.

Anyway, some of my best ideas are from the home and garden magazines. I just need more time online to write them all and get them posted here. After all, I don't have a direct link into my brain. If I did you would probably run screaming wondering what the heck THAT ungodly mess was.

Well, until next time, when I will have something more unique and informative to send you...

Happy Gardening, enjoy the Summer Solstice.

One of the most frustrating things in the entire world is to have tons of great ideas, inspiration and creativity but not enough cash. Tomorrow is pay day but the cheque is going to be miniscule, pathetically small. Our hours have been cut back by more than half at the store. So, though there are so many things I want to do, I can only pick and choose the cheapest and balance my cash against keeping gas in the car.

The other sad thing is that I will be moving again. That means that here we are at the start of garden season and I can't really plant anything. Nothing that I expect to see again or even see in bloom in some cases. I look at the seed catalogues and have to hold back the whines, the sighs and... no, I don't cry. I'm a grown up woman after all.

But, it's hard to look forward to garden season knowing I can't fully take part. I remember having an apartment garden and feeling the same way. Although I dragged all the houseplants outside on the balcony and stuck up 4 window boxes, it really wasn't enough. There was so much more I wanted to do. Perennials for instance. My favourite flowers are all perennials. In the apartment the best perennials I could manage were houseplants that really didn't get much in the way of flowers.

However, one year my cactus bloomed! That was a huge surprise. I thought it was a parasite and almost picked the little flower bud off. I'm not sure what stopped me, but I'm glad something did. After a few years with more blooms each year I moved again and the cactus died. It just didn't like the new place I guess. Ever since I have watched to find the same kind of cactus again. But, though I see one now and then it's rare that they look all that healthy, worth the 10$ they usually stick on their tags. I don't want to buy some half dead/ diseased looking cactus. Not even worth asking for a discount on them cause I know how sensitive they are. Once they start to slid off the deep end they don't seem to bounce back.

Anyway, I think tomorrow, my one big expenditure will be a new cactus. If I find one. I miss having that cactus around. I originally bought it when I was 16 and I was in my 20's when it first bloomed. I can't believe I was that patient.

Seasons Greetings,

Here we are again. This time coffee has been on my mind. I'm looking forward to a cup of steamy, rich tasting coffee surrounded by the garden. Dirty hands, dirty knees and a big mug to sink into.

My Mother has a big garden, back in the wilds of Canada. It's way more than she can look after herself but as we grew up and moved away it just kept growing in spite of her. A couple of years ago she joined a local gardening group for peony growers.

I always had a few patches of that garden. My favourites are the early spring wildflowers and perennials. Tulips, violas and trilliums are right up there in the top ten. Trilliums are the flower of Ontario. No one down here in the midwest, US, has heard of them. I searched online and found they just don't grow this far south. For a Canadian gardener that's a nice switch. Usually the flowers/ plants we want to grow only grow farther south and if they survive up here at all they are tender perennials.

Back to the whole coffee thing. I'm not sure what it is about coffee really. I remember the first time I ever tried it. I tasted from my Mom's cup. It was so bitter and strong. I wondered how anyone would find pleasure in drinking that stuff. I think coffee drinking is an addiction, like smoking you develop the addiction through peer pressure. Forever after that you comb the environment for that good cup of coffee. For me its something smooth and rich, like French Vanilla. I used to get Mocha from the Second Cup in Toronto but they couldn't get the beans any more so I was out of luck. Now my favourite coffee shop is Timothy's or Williams if I can find one.

Tonight I'm going to be brewing some new kind which is smooth, but not that perfect blend of rich and smooth, they called it caramel in the store. My Mother thinks flavoured beans are a sickness, she's a purist.

Keeping things is a luxury. Think about it. You have to have space, usually space isn't free, not for any dependable length of time anyway. Then think about pioneer women who left all their keepables behind as they kept moving to the next space. Even when they found a space they held onto it was a luxury to keep anything they didn't need for survival. Keeping things is definitely a luxury.

We keep so much too. We even have a fancy word for it: keepsakes. Every time I hear or see that word I think about modern people having too much stuff and those old pioneers who had so little. It must have been very hard to part with Grandmother's china for the sake of getting the wagon load of supplies and family through the mud to the next town.

What do you keep that you could really get rid of? If you move this becomes a big focus of your packing experience. It's so easy to keep things, collect things but so much work to pack and move all those things. Do you really want to heft around a 30 pound box of Beanie Babies? How important do they feel when you have to weigh them against space in the moving truck, your own sore muscles and the fact that you'll have to give them space in your new place.

I keep things too. You're not alone in this keeping boat. But, at times I envy the vagabond, gypsy, nomadic lifestyle. Don't you think it would be nice to live simply? To have less to dust, less to care about and so much less to cart about, it sounds like a breath of fresh air compared to all those keepsakes weighing you down, taking all the air out of the room. Do you feel trapped?

But, we all want nice things. Cute things, things that might some day be worth more than you paid for them and things that will some day prove useful, it's just giving them space that bothers me. Space in your dwelling and space in your life. I think I need a little less luxury and I'm over due for a hefty Spring cleaning.