Day one of a new diet Mom and I are going to work on. Don't get the idea that I'm a frequent dieter, I don't do all that counting and scrimping. I'm not some bean counter type. But, Mom really wants to do this so I'm trying it.

Day one and I nearly died at work. I managed to keep going almost the whole six hours but then I was feeling so awful I thought about driving myself to the hospital. I just didn't want to feel stupid when they tell me (an hour later) that my blood sugar is low from not eating enough today. It's not a starvation diet. All the fruit and vegetable soup you can stand to eat, that was the plan for today. But, I was hungry all day and my period started at work. That's when I began crashing. By the time I left work the supervisor said I was looking kind of green. I was a mess. If that ever happens again I will not try to drive home again either. I was half fainting as I drove.

Anyway, the diet itself is quite nice. Plenty of vegetables which I like. Then there are a couple of days when you have 20 oz. of steak/ beef. I don't think I could eat that much. Not unless it's really rare the way I love it. Even then, that's a lot of meat. But, to get to the beef and tomatoes day there are 2 more days of vegetables and soup. One day of just soup, bananas and skim milk. I don't really care for bananas.

I'm still hungry now but I just don't want to eat. I start work at 8 in the morning and I think I'm in jewelry again. I'm definitely going home early if I feel wretched again. But, I'll cheat and get buttermilk at the grocery store before I try driving anywhere. How awful it would have been to have an accident with another car tonight. You never know who's in the other cars on the road. What they're going through.

Comments

digitalzen

Hi, Laura...

Diets that you can't sustain aren't much use, because when you go back to the old eating patterns (soon, from the sound of it,) you just gain the weight back. Check out the USDA nutrition pages here for some guidelines that weren't cobbled together by some unscrupulous "expert" out to make a buck. ;) Zen

I had two days off work and I'm just as worn out as I would be had I been working. I think it's being here. There is so much stress from too much family time, especially when it's sort of not really your family any more. You can never go back, that's true when it's about your parents and brothers and sisters. You can't go back and expect them to accept that you aren't that same dorky kid, loser, whatever. Sometimes I feel like there are two people inside me. One is the person they expect me to be and the other is the unexplored (real) me. I wonder if I have to break something to be that real me. It seems the only way out and yet you're always trained to be nice, not hurt others and respect your family. What do you have to lose to gain yourself and your freedom from old standards?

Emily, it freaks me out that you're possibly reading this. I know you'll laugh. :) Me too.