On some level I would like Prince Charming to come along and sweep me off my feet, rescue me, fix everything and carry me off to his magnificent castle in the clouds. Silly, isn't it? You should all be saying yes. I know some of you have gone off to daydream about it, wistfully thinking of your own Prince Charming.

Well, wise up! There are no Prince Charmings. All the guys out there are not so different from yourself. They come equipped with their own hang-ups, problems, issues and inhibitions. I bet some of them are looking for Princess Charming. That's not you. You don't even want to have someone put all their problems on your shoulders and sit back while you fix everything.

So, why would you expect some guy to be that way for you? Prince Charming is a fairy tale. We're dealing with people here, when we wander through the selection of available men.

At this point I'm looking for a friendly guy who finds me interesting enough to stick around. Sure there are issues like no smoking, social drinker, etc. But you have to put them on a need and want level. What do you need and what do you want. Be practical rather than romantical.

When you can love ice cream and cheesecake, how hard can it be to love a guy who isn't Prince Charming but still makes you laugh and is comfortable to be around. I think you're better to like a guy than to love him. If you can't even like him how will you ever grow to love him?

Written for Feminists in Makeup

I don't think too much about the whole inner child deal. Considering yourself as a child seems a bit... childish. My ex-husband thought I needed to be more childish, he wanted me to play with him with comics, toys (No, not those adult toys) and such. I just wasn't into that. Maybe it depends on what you did when you were a kid. I had fun as a kid, a brother and two sisters. We did a lot of things kids usually do. But, I was still the oldest and the one who made sure everyone had bus fare to get home at the end of the day. That kind of stuff older sisters are supposed to do. I liked doing it all too. So, maybe I did all my kid stuff when I was a kid and now I want to do the adult stuff. Not that I'm stuffy and never have fun. I just enjoy adult fun more than kid stuff.

How does it work? I go out of my way to be a good friend, a pleasant person in general and yet, I'm always alone at the end of the day. Here I am, alone again. Sitting in a house with ghosts for company. When I need a friend I'm alone. I must have done something really wretched in a past life. I hope I had a hell of a good time doing what ever it was. I'm tired of this life of striving to be good and never having anything good for it all. What is the point to being a good person? At the end of my life I'll just be alone in a dirt hole. How will it be any different from today, right now. I'm tired of being good to people. Let them all rot. Eventually they will, and what will any of it matter?

There are times, moments, when I feel like I'm on the edge of figuring it all out. Then something comes up and gets in the way. So, I never quite figure it all out. Eventually, I will. I'll catch up to myself, tap myself on the shoulder and say, "You've been doing it all wrong."

Comments

cloverbee

I wanted to introduce myself and tell you hi. I stumbled across your journal through a random search and enjoyed your postings so if you were curious as to how you ended up on my friends list - that's how.

But I don't think there is a right answer to the questions you ask above. But I hope that LJ offers you some contact when you need at least a human touchpoint. It helps me a lot when I can simply ask my LJ friends a question and get their advice and counsel. Not that I always listen, mind you :) but I like knowing I can ask. I hope you find the same thing through whatever avenue you pursue.

me

Hi to you. :) Thanks for the introduction. I visited your LJ. YOu write well. I've had a pretty emotional day today so I'm just going to get to bed and let it all wash over me awhile.

agingyoungrebel

Laura (thatgrrlca) DOES have webfriends, cloverbee (I'm rather proud to be friends with her, myself), but even though webfriends can be understanding and supportive, they're still only virtual.

The Amazing Disposable Woman did it again. But, this time I'm still breathing. I thought getting tossed out again would be more than I could live through. But, I'm actually starting to be ok just hours later. I've thought about it you see. I've learned and I've improved on my comphrension. In short, I picked wrong again.

You can't be in a relationship by yourself. You can't have a relationship with someone on paper or in a digital/ cyber version only. If someone who hasn't met you says he loves you, realize it's not based on anything concrete. Likely, he's putting you in some reserve file to be analyzed, inspected and perhaps acted upon in the far future. Like a time capsule. He doesn't really want you to be a part of his life in the here and now.

Also, any guy that doesn't send real birthday cards isn't going out of his way to include you in his life in other ways. If you get something physical then you can rely on getting more physical. Romance isn't a story book to be read on paper, taken out and dusted off when it's convenient. It's in the here and now and it's messy sometimes. At times it's gushy and mushy and really inconvenient. But, it's there, physically there.

Watch for guys who want a 'partnership' and then start laying out the rules. You should be in there somewhere, your rules. If you're not then it's not a partnership. If all the rules are his there isn't any space for you.

So, more lessons learned. As if I wasn't already perfect enough.

I'm Ok! I'm really going to be ok. I'm so surprised and glad. At first I thought I'd just curl up and die. But, here I am. Typing and everything. I might even go make fresh coffee and have a really great orgasm before bed. I'm free and I'm just fine! I don't have to explain myself to anyone.