I don't look back at my life and think "what if". The past is done and I don't mind to leave it there. But, I'm not so psychologically sane that I don't think "what if" in another direction.

What if there are alternative universes where each of us exists in a different existence. What are all the other me women doing? I bet some have kids, some never lasted this long, some are amassing great fortunes, some are creating extraordinary works of art and some are just sitting home tonight reading a good book.

I was skimming/ reading another blog and one of the posts about a post was some guy raving about boycotting marriage cause women were evil and there was no sex after marriage. The usual silliness.

It had me thinking. First, the marriage boycott works both ways. Secondly, who has more reason to boycott marriage these days than we do? The days of women at home and men working are pretty over. Women work, women cook, women clean, women kill their own bugs, get step ladders to reach the high shelves and we can have an orgasm without a man being in the room. So, where does that leave modern man?

If he isn't contributing to the running of the household, is he just another thing to be cleaned and maintained? Bringing in a pay cheque isn't enough. Women who have a job and come home and clean the house, cook the dinner, take care of kids and then get told it's time to wake up and have sex, might not see the good point in having a man around the house.

Men need to put out. I don't mean sex. Put out the garbage, wash the clothes, tidy the kitchen, pick up the dry cleaning, vacuum the rugs, walk the dog, get the kids out of the house early on Saturday morning and then wake up for sex too. It's being part of a couple, rather than a woman and her self contained sex toy. Sex isn't enough, women want someone to come home to with a smile. The guy that makes us smile and glad to see him. That's they guy we want to come home to, that's the guy we want to wake up beside and do all kinds of wicked, wanton shameless things to. Things you wouldn't discuss with anyone but him.

It makes me laugh, in an annoyed way, the way people say they want honesty. Anyone who begins by telling you how honesty is important to them is full of pond scum. Each experience I have had with these honest people has been full of dishonesty, from them. Men lie about their age, as if that's something they can get away with indefinitely. Women may lie about their weight but that's only cause men are so shallow and self centred that they can't look at a woman as a real person. They treat women like disposable sex toys. No need to let her know they aren't interested after all, just ignore her and she'll go away like any good sex toy. I am so fed up with this. If a guy doesn't have the balls to say "thanks but no thanks" he should stick to sex toys of the rubber kind and not involve himself with real women at all. Obviously we are too much for him to handle. He's much better just handling himself.

Comments

dakitty

Who's ass do we need to kick?

Sounds like the same old story, but with a new guy sigh

These types don't even treat women as well as they do their sex toys -- they care for their toys needs (clean them, give them new batteries) & likely talk nicer to them too :P

me

Oddly enough it was three different ones, all in a row. Two guys and one woman. I'm trying a new approach to the whole dating thing. No more online. The real men must be somewhere else.

dakitty

"Two guys and one woman."

Have you err, opened up more on the 'whole dating thing' than I suspected? Or is this another issue, not related to dating?

As for dating online, you know I got lucky here. But then it wasn't at a dating site. Perhaps if you are just spending time as non-dating sites, you might find yourself in a more natural way of 'running into someone' who has similar interests -- real interests, not some he typed in to look good (or younger lol)

Just my 2 cents :)

me

No, the woman was a dating thing. Not my idea, I was surprised. I wrote straight in my profile. But, you know how curious I am. How could I resist an invitation to see her when she said she had a whole dungeon. She didn't really ask anything about me, she just assumed. Then, when I couldn't meet her the next day she forgot about me. Just as well, it probably would have been a bit too odd even for me. Though I'm still curious and have begun to write a story around the whole thing.

The new plan is to find a local group of people (men and women) who are doing something like digital photography, website building, SOMETHING where the men have to take their hands out of their pants and look up once in awhile.

PS- I found a new book yesterday. I don't buy new often but I loved the title and then the general idea too. No doubt it will be more fuel for the writing.

"The Future Widows Club" by Rhonda Nelson. I'm going to BookCrossing it tonight. Thinking to toss BookCrossing as it's not much use in the outback of Ontario. No one picks up my books. Though I have traded with a couple of other women at work, only one has joined the site so far.

dakitty

SOMETHING where the men have to take their hands out of their pants and look up once in awhile

LOL

But it is a good point!

I'm sure there must be more people like me out there, somewhere. Surely at least a couple of them are male. Why do I keep meeting people who want me to be someone else, or expect me to fit some mould/ stereotype? I don't want to. I like to do things my way, cause my way is good too. It's not the only way, I'm not completely vain or blind to other options. But, I'm pretty clever in my own way. The odd way.

I am tired of trying to become what people want or expect me to. Or, maybe worse, accepting people (men) and making excuses and rationalizations for how it can work out, how I'm just thinking too much or trying to find someone who can't really exist. As if I'M the one who is expecting too much. I try to wrap myself around their little finger. It's damn time I took a coffee break on that.

Surely, there is a guy, who doesn't live so far away as to require long distance relating, who could actually enjoy my company, as I am. The real me, dorky, nerdy, flawed, passionate, artsy, scared, stubborn, caring, unreasonable, impatient, eccentric, unorganized, sensual, quiet, independent, old fashioned, crafty and on and on. And on.

Why do I keep meeting odd guys who don't care about the things that matter to me. Guys who seem to have more problems than I do, guys who want me to come to rescue them, guys who don't care about good punctuation, guys who can't carry a conversation above sex, guys who lie about things that don't really matter, guys who think a woman's body is all that matters. Guys who honestly, really and truly bore me. Why do I keep thinking that is all the choice I have? Why do I sell myself short?

I'm tired of it. But, I just can't believe there really isn't at least one guy out there who is abnormal in enough ways to mesh with all my abnormal. No normal, please, that would be boring. There must be an intelligent, interesting, passionate, optimistic guy out there. One who doesn't need to put me down to make himself feel bigger or better. One who doesn't mind some chaos and doesn't think all the dishes have to be sorted by size and put away right away. One who likes to read and talk about ideas, the weather and other things of interest. Bedsport too but not as a focus, crowding out all else.

Anyway, here I am. Come and get me. I'll leave a trail of typos, chocolate wrappers and spilled coffee. If you have/ know the words you'll find the way.

Comment

agingyoungrebel (Writer from BackWash.com)

Sure, guys like that must exist, Laura. Don't give up hope.