I get a fine warm feeling when I'm doing well, but that pleasure is pretty much negated by the pain of getting started each day. Let's face it, writing is hell. - William Styron
Do you have any tricks to help you get started each day or are you one of those really motivated, self disciplined types that don't need any tricks?
Not me. Getting started is my biggest battle.
If you ask yourself why you actually like coffee do you have a reason? Sometimes I think it isn't the coffee that I really like so much as the social side of coffee drinking and coffee making. Starting with the beans and how you grind them, then to the type of coffee maker or the process you use to make coffee and then ending with the classic: cream, milk, sugar, sweetener...? Even the way you serve the coffee, do you prefer a mug or do you use something fancier like a teacup?
Where do you drink your coffee? Typically, I drink my coffee alone in a crowd of people who don't know me. I like it that way. Sometimes I make coffee at home when I work in front of the computer. I also feel alone and yet in a crowd of people there too. Coffee is a part of going out. How many times are you out somewhere and end up going out for a coffee? You could just come home and make it yourself. But, there is something kind of special about being out for coffee. Something kind of grown up, cosmopolitan, elegant and sophisticated about sitting with a coffee in a cafe or even over lunch.
I have a small collection of coffee makers. The process of making coffee is as interesting and sometimes elegant too. My favourite is the Bodum French Press, for practical reasons. With the press I don't need coffee filters, just the beans themselves, to make a cup of coffee. I can take the press with me and make coffee any where that I can boil water. It is very handy when I go babysitting for the weekend at my sister's house. My French Press pot is a bit small though. Fine for a regular sized mug. But, when I'm at home working on the computer I like a big, deep mug of coffee. A mug so huge as to appear bottomless, as close to it as any mug could ever be. So, for making coffee at those times, I use a portable cone filter which I hold over the mug, pouring the boiling water over the beans. I doubt this makes full use of the beans. They have less brewing time. So it seems a bit of a shame to make coffee this way. But, it does work.
I have an old percolator (Corning) which I picked up at the thrift store. It must have been used very seldom as it looks pristine. I have only used it a few times in th years I have had the pot. It is fun to hear the coffee brew in the percolator. You get more coffee smell this way too I have noticed. My other pot is a cone filter too but it comes with it's own pot, lid and scoop. The pot itself is glass but the rest of it is all my favourite shade of red. A Melitta pot which I bought when I was 16 and had my first apartment, living away from my family.
Flickr: Coffee Maker Museum
Flickr: The Coffee Machine Collector
Ning: The Vintage Coffee Maker
Jitterbuzz: Coffee Paraphernalia
A to Z Coffee Makers -- Reviews.
Coffee Sage -- Blog about coffee, beans and news.
Transcend Coffee -- Committed to fresh roasted beans.
Jim Seven -- James Hoffman's coffee blog.
Brewed Coffee -- For caffeine addicts only.
Royal Coffee Maker -- When you want something really deluxe!
This is my comment from a post on Vanilla Edge about the male in chastity for a year:
As a Domme without a lot of experience and none with cock cages/ chastity in a male, I would be very reluctant to try male chastity with a guy who has no experience himself. First, the hunt for equipment that would work for him. Do I really want to go through trying to find which style will work to both keep him chaste and not stop him from having basic use of his penis for peeing and not give him problems with liquid which can not be washed out. I see this as a big problem in that the skin would be very irritated.
Second, the problem of him asking to be let out of the chastity. Is it for show because he wants to play the game where I tell him he is stuck in it or does he really need to be let out of it. It is one thing if his cock were showing signs of being raw/ rubbed or etc by the cage. There could be other problems with his plumbing or the balls that do not show but are serious as well.
So, a guy who has had experience and can at least not be an idiot about the whole thing would be someone I would try it with. Otherwise I feel I am getting in over my head and that is not something I like.
The When I read posts by men who talk about how great it would be to be locked up for a year I seldom take them seriously. In far too many cases these men have no real experience at all. It is just the fantasy that they think will be so great. They think finding a Domme to do this with is all they really need. That puts a lot on the Domme and, I feel, for the sub himself this is really stupid. There has to be a limit to what the Domme is expected to know. At some point a man must be responsible for his own safety and health. For myself, there is only so much I can read about versus having real experience.
Anyway, this is a long comment. Thank you for leaving comments about chastity in my blog. The man I am considering (as a whole relationship not just play) is interested in this. I am too. But, I have reservations. To me, the best plan is an entire cage which I can lock him into and let him out again. Not a cock cage but a full body cage. Much safer, unless there is a fire or something drastic. (Which I would have prepared for by having a key in his reach, with the understand it is not to be used). Safe play is very important to me.
Is part of male chastity making them want it even more when you aren't letting them have any? It is just the kind of wickedness that appeals to me. Plus, chastity is a double edged sword. (If you want to have sex with them, you can't really keep them locked up and unavailable).
So is the real fun for the Domme in keeping them in chastity for extended periods of time or in giving them temptation and hope that it won't last very long?
Then Feministing puts the whole thing in another perspective. That's one I need time to think about when it's not late at night and I'm thinking about getting to bed.
This (my post) was included in the elust newsletter.
I should be meeting a new sub next week, someday. I think I will call him Blue Balls. It's kind of a pretty name, makes me think of bluebell flowers, and other things that can be blue.
Sometimes being a Domme is like being a fem sub. We are both spoiled, just in different ways, more like different directions. I tell BB all kinds of fun things I'd enjoy doing when we chat on Gmail's Chat feature. I know he is hard up and I love it when he types about it into the chat. Knowing he is hard just makes me build up the scenario, come up with more naughty ways to torment him. Most of it makes me laugh, even while it makes me want him here to suck on my breasts, knead them and suck them while I tell him all the other ideas I have to torment him. Writing the ideas into chat with him is a lot of fun. It stirs me to yet more creative impulses.
I don't know how the reality will go. The chat is simple, text to text. It is never that simple face to face. Or, if we get past face to face, everything is more complicated when the intimacy increases for body to body. I do want the romance and the courtship. I've had little of either from past men I married or dated. To give credit, my ex husband was the most romantic. We had begun as friends over a long period of time. We are still friends now, it's a relationship that is still healing I think. But, I'm glad it is healing. We had too much that was good to let it become like some dreadful disease.
The new sub and I should meet next week, a first meeting so I am both hoping for good things and yet cautious from past less than great experiences with men I have met from online sources. I think I will call him BB, just to make him blush. After all, BB can be other things, like Boob Boy. I will know it is Blue Balls, he can be allowed to think it is Boob Boy, or something else. Let him think I'm not really evil. I know that I can be, but not right away. True evilness takes some warming up. Yet, it will be worth the trip. At least for one of us.
Be honest, what is the point of a man having an orgasm really? Once he does all the real fun is over. Shouldn't all boys wait until their orgasm will at least amuse their Domme? That's how it seems to me. Poor BB. I don't know if he really does know that the fantasy is fun while it is a fantasy. But the reality is going to be quite different. No wonder male subs have to sign contracts. It is a good idea to have something on paper that the Domme can bring out to remind him that all of this is what he signed up for. How wicked to make him sign it before he experiences the reality.
This clip from the Cosmo post about Blue Balls just has to be repeated:
In case you were wondering, it's called blue balls because the blood that's been in the scrotum for a while loses oxygen and can give the appearance of a bluish tinge -- although it sounds like something guys came up with to express just how sad they are that they can't come!
Help for blue balls from Scarleteen and Suite101.