I make ASCII art. I started in 1998 and I still take time to type out a picture now and then. Usually, the holidays inspire me to get creative with the keyboard. Making art is a nice change from using the keyboard to type out word and sentences.

Actually making ASCII art is simple and straight forward.

Start with an empty (clean, untouched) Notepad on your computer. In MS Windows this is a plain .txt (text) file. When you open this file you can tap your mouse on the empty space to set your keyboard cursor in the right place. Go down a few lines, use carriage returns. Then use the space bar to move the cursor out towards the middle of the page/ screen. This gives you a little working space above and to the side, so you don't start typing on the first line, as if you were going to write. This time you're going to make art and you want some space over and under your cursor. Consider this blank text file to be your canvas. Don't be intimidated.

Finding Notepad on a Windows Computer Start -> All Programs -> Accessories -> Notepad

Click Start or the Windows graphic at the bottom left on your computer. This will pull up a list of programs. Select All Programs, so you can see everything. Then go to Accessories and find Notepad on that list. Open Notepad by clicking it.

Look at your keyboard. Unless you have an old (faded and worn) keyboard (or use a language other than English) your keyboard should display everything you need right there. My own keyboard is a bit faded and worn for most of the letter characters - I've done a lot of touch typing. But, I know where things are. Still, it is easier to work with a keyboard that shows all the characters. If you want to start making ASCII art this could be a good reason to get a new keyboard, treat yourself.

Before you begin, have an idea of the picture you want to create.

I like to have a simple line drawing or clip art to work with. I often make my own doodle/ sketch if the idea has come from out of the blue, inspiration from my own mind. Having the drawing is a great help when it comes to actually creating a picture. I don't see it as stealing art when I have a drawing from someone else. I am not copying it - but using a different medium to create my own vision, my own point of view of the original drawing. Trust me, my finished creation may not look much like the original once I'm done.

When you create art with the keyboard some things have to change in order to fit in with the text medium which you are using. For instance, you can't put a line or a space exactly where you want one to appear. It has to be where the keyboard types it in. So you work with this and sometimes you can even make it work for you. Also, of course, you are working with the keyboard characters as they are. So you can't make a J just a bit taller. You can't make W thinner. You get the idea, or you soon will once you start working with all those characters.

Actually getting started is easy. You don't need any extra supplies like paper or pens or guide books or whatever else you may imagine. A fresh coffee is nice, but that's a personal touch.

Pick a place on your drawing/ sketch to start from. Look at the shape of the line.

The Shapes of Keyboard Characters

As you type above and below your original work use the space bar and your mouse to move the cursor. You will need typed spaces in your work to line things up right.

When you begin typing in the next row of your picture start by moving the cursor to the spot that matches up with the work you have already done.

Start Small

You can make an ASCII art picture in all sizes, from tiny to huge. But, start with something a bit smaller. Mainly, it's just easier to work with something that isn't sprawling across the whole screen. A small sized ASCII art picture is easier to see as a whole when you begin working on how all those keyboard characters will fit together to shape a whole, finished picture.

Just today, I found myself and this website mentioned in a book. The O'Reilly Essential Blogging book in which Ben and Mena Trott are among the authors. I'm on page #230 with my blab about blogs. I had no idea my comments were chosen for the book. Pretty nice year end surprise. Maybe it's a sign of great things to come.

Who knows maybe Harlequin and all those women's magazines will just flock to put my words into print. Yeah, and after that I'll start dusting off the plans for my world domination plot, the one where I'm empress of the world. I'm a very good empress btw.

Now I really do need to fix all the little things around my site. Plus work on getting my new graphics (homemade) scanned and loaded up. Wait till you see them, you'll be completely blown away, that or get the hiccups laughing. Either way works for me. ;)

Corrections About Christmas

I must correct my Christmas blab. I did get three presents and counting now. Before Christmas my brother let me have $50 to change my drivers license from US to Canadian. Afterwards he told me to keep the money (I didn't need to pay him back) and get that food steamer I had told him I wanted for Christmas. The food steamer I got on sale for less than $25, so that was a nice Christmas present. I just didn't think of it when I was writing because it was pre-Christmas. Since Christmas my sister Grace (home visiting) bought me the inhalers I needed. I had given her my bank card but she didn't use it. So that was nice of her. Thirdly, today my Mom said she is giving me $200 for Christmas. So Christmas was a time of giving afterall.

In case you're wondering... I gave everyone something for Christmas too. But I didn't spend much due to not having much to spend. Likely I've spent more on gassing the car than anything or anyone else. I hope working at Zellers will keep me in coffee once I ask (and get) full time. But, I'm going to ask once my 3 months probation is up. Hoping that goes more than well. I've even been so bold as to ask people to fill out the customer service comment cards. So far both people I asked were glad to do it. But, I knew they would be since I spent extra time helping both of them and they were nice, cheery people. Just another 8 cards to go and then I can get a silver ID card. Won't that look good for my 3 months probation. :)

Can you take praise or accept help graciously? Not me, at least not without an inner debate/ struggle over the whole thing. I've come to think it's all part of how I belittle myself. Undervalue would work too.

Another element of the belittling is how I feel I can never do enough. I constantly take on more jobs and projects, more than I can really handle. But, no matter how many balls I'm keeping spinning there is always someone else who seems to be doing more and doing more better than I am.

Then there is the whole thing of comparing everything I do to everything everyone else does. Almost everyone I look at is more capable than I see myself. I read another BW column and feel my own columns are about nothing, not interesting, lacking substance and not about anything important. I see a beautiful quilt and think that I should be doing more of that, I love sewing and quilts have always been my favourite sewing related items. Of course, the whole quilting thing is one more project I put upon myself and never complete.

When I take on so many things I end up frustrated and feeling like I never get anything done, or at least not done on time. If I do meet deadlines I feel I could have done better if I had given myself half a chance. Other people always make quilts, write articles, drive, talk, walk, etc. better and easier than I do. All those 'normal' people with their simple, happy, normal lives. I get wondering what I did so wrong that I'm here on the outside looking in. What part of me is it that never fits in?

But, there isn't any one part. It's me as a whole. I just can't seem to get past the feelings of not being good enough. When someone gives me credit for something I did well I try to accept it graciously and not listen to the belittling comments going on in my mind. I haven't been very successful at taking on less but I know it's out there so that's a start.

Some day I'll figure out how to be ok inside my own skin, how to stop putting down everything I do and accept that I do things well, or at least well enough. Someday I'll stop belittling myself or worse, waiting for that perfect Mr. Right who will finally make me believe I'm ok. No one will ever make me believe it until I really believe it.

This is my latest BackWash column. Just posting it here as well cause it's pretty personal. I have no idea why I publish these things on BackWash. Must be yet another twist of character.

This morning I lost my voice. All yesterday I could feel it faltering and I knew it was just a matter of time. So, here I am voiceless and the only person home to wish myself a Merry Christmas. Don't misunderstand, I'm not feeling sad or whining. I'm busy wrapping presents and cooking dinner to take over to my sister's house this afternoon.

Anyway, what does all this have to do with writing? The voice, the very thing you most depend on for communication. Think of it, all that you can do with a voice. Words on paper can't show mood as easily and effectively as a words spoken. Of course, all communication has the possibility of being completely misunderstood. But, it's much harder to misunderstand something you see and hear live and in person.

How do you bring that to paper? What can you do to establish tone of voice, inflections on certain words and the mood of the writer/ character? Writing, "Joe was angry", is more telling than showing. You're a writer, you're creative, right? You can do better.

"Joe suddenly shoved all the papers off his desk. Watching them fall to the floor, his eyes gleamed, they looked so non-threatening down there. Nothing he couldn't stomp all over. But, those were just papers, it was the people behind the papers who really mattered. He gathered the papers. Sitting down at his desk, Joe put his head in his hands and began reading the income tax form."

Actions speak louder than words.

Merry Christmas, Seasons Greetings, Happy Holidays!

Whatever your greeting of choice, whichever your religion, have a very merry Christmas.

I'm cooking cabbage rolls and making buns from scratch this morning. All to be taken over to my sister's house for Christmas dinner this afternoon. I've still go presents to wrap and I never did put my Christmas tree up. I don't think I will now. Mainly, I'm just too tired.

Christmas came in like a lion and is going out like a lamb, for me. In a couple of days I'm going to wonder how I missed it and I will miss it. I've been working so many hours I haven't done many of my traditional Christmas things. I didn't get a mall coffee and wander around like a tourist, looking at all the decorations. I didn't take a weekend trip away for my birthday weekend. I didn't put up my tree and fling lights around the house/ apartment. I also didn't get my Christmas cards sent out, well, only one of them which I hand delivered.

I did buy myself a new ornament for the tree. I did buy Christmas presents for all the family I will be seeing. This morning I'll wrap them all up. I did have at least one gingerbread coffee at Chapters bookstore. I did play in the snow. Lastly, I did my little happy winter ritual, which was also important to me.

So, I'm not totally missing Christmas and, if I'm not too worn out after working on Boxing Day, I can still pack into the mall and look at the decorations. Maybe Santa will still be there taking pictures with the kids. That's another tradition I've missed this year.

Merry Christmas, now dash away, dash away all!