Archive of
Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Birthday Cards for the Dead?

Have you ever seen a birthday card for someone already deceased? I don't mean so recently that people still have a memorial sort of birthday for them. What about when it is your Father, long gone.

Today is my Dad's birthday. I forget how long ago he died, it has been about 15 years, possibly more. I can't give him a pretty or funny card. I didn't find any wise or witty quotes. Not a single birthday card found for the deceased.

Has no one else ever thought of this? I will see what I can think of. Nothing brilliant so far.

What would you write, draw, create as a birthday card for family or friends long dead?

Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Dressing Like a Man Won't Make you a Better Woman

Behind every successful woman is a suit of men's clothing? There seems to be a trend for women to dress as men in order to feel successful, confident, professional - the ideal stereotypical man. It's sad for women and unfair to men. Its letting stereotypes continue to thrive when we should be changing them, not ourselves.

People get angry if you post anything less than agreeable about gender transitioning, fluidity, and all the other words and phrases which just keep on showing up. They all mean the same thing really. People have dived so deep into gender stereotypes they can't see their way any more. We don't need gender stereotypes. We don't need more divisions, more definitions of gender.

We live with a flood of gender issues. Created by people, man made - using an old fashioned, non-gender neutral phrase.

We call everyone "guys" while demanding militant attention to gender identity otherwise. It's very weird. I've posted about the "guys" thing before. Today I'm posting about women dressing as men, behaving and acting as they believe men do, stereotypical men. Why are these women changing how they look to suit old stereotypes so they can feel better about themselves? Why do they need a change of clothes to make them feel masculine in order to feel better about themselves? Why do they need to be masculine to be better women?

It really worries me that women can't seem to feel good about being women any more. Too many women seem to feel it is easier to become a masculine stereotype than to live as a woman and feel good about who you are, what you can accomplish, and how the world sees you.

Women call themselves queer, non-binary, gender fluid...  wear traditional/ stereotypical male clothes then believe they are/feel stronger, more professional, business-like, confident. The clothes make the man, they say. But, that's a very old expression. Why isn't it outdated? Why do so many women, people, still believe it, literally?

Gender should not define who you are. You should. Who you are should be about you, not your gender. This is what a stereotype is. Defining someone based on perceptions of race, religion, politics, age, gender, etc. We should be trying to understand this. But we seem to be sinking deeper and deeper into it. Giving the stereotypes new life and much more importance.

A man likes fixing cars and that's ok. A woman likes sewing and crochet, that's ok too. No one expects them to change genders to suit their hobbies, interests, or professions. If a person enjoys ballet we decide they must be feminine. A boy who wants a ballet costume, isn't just a boy interested in ballet and wearing a costume. If a female is interested in fixing cars she must be masculine. A girl who likes science, technology, auto mechanics, carpentry, plumbing, maybe even construction work... she shouldn't also like wearing a pretty pink dress. You can't be feminine and like those "boy things". Does this mean a woman in a dress, or wearing pretty colours, should feel less confident, less capable, less self-reliant? Those are really old stereotypes. Why do we still promote them and worse, believe in them?

More than believing in stereotypes we now enforce them. Women who begin dressing as men (typical and traditional men's clothing styles) say they feel different about themselves. They feel powerful, stronger, all traditional things associated with men. Men dress as women (typical and traditional female clothing, cosmetics, jewelry styles) and say they feel softer, gentler, etc. But, changing your clothes, hairstyle, getting cosmetic surgery, none of that changes your brain. Playing a video game you take on a character, an avatar, but its still you playing the game. Like a wolf in sheep's clothing - the wolf is just wearing a new skin, under that is still a wolf. It's just a skin, a covering, a costume.

If you want to live differently change your personality. You don't need a different pronoun, a new wardrobe or surgery. Just be yourself, the person you want to be. Make the change to who you are, rather than making cosmetic changes to suit a stereotype.

Be yourself. You are not your gender, your gender is just part of the whole. This post may upset some people who don't really read it. Just skim for keywords to go of on a flaming rant. But, it should upset people. People need to think about why we have so many gender issues, why do we still pigeon hole people into what makes a man and what makes a woman, based on preconceived notions from long ago?  Why is that accepted and encouraged and protesting it (pointing it out at all) aggressively discouraged?

Posted on . Filed in . Tagged with .

Pagan, with a Capital P

Some people don't even give Pagan, Wicca or Witch/ Witchcraft a capital letter any more. This bothers me.

Pagan is a title, a proper name for something, a title. When using English (the language is also title) we should capitalize the first letter of a word that is a title.

I know English language standards have slipped into non-importance for some people. But, I see this lack of capital letter from people who do make an effort at writing well and keeping the standards for communication in English with all the right punctuation, grammar and spelling. Sure, we all make mistakes. But, not putting a capital letter on a title is not like a spelling mistake or a typo you only make once and don't happen to catch. It looks deliberate.

Has Pagan lost it's place, it's importance?