I was happy to become the "Oh Canada" Contributor on the Squidoo network site. I like writing about Canadian culture, history and so on. But, the more I write and post over there the more disappointed I am feeling. Almost none of my Canadian posts are keeping afloat enough (in traffic and reposts) for them to stop sinking to the bottom of the tank (tanking them, literally).

Within a month of being posted half of them are in the red. It is discouraging. I don't like losing the time I put into them but more than that, I feel sad that not enough people care about any of it. I've written about Canadian things like movies and TV shows. Those are popular posts for the US TV and movies. But, not the Canadian content.

Anyway, I am going to begin moving them here. Someone (other than myself) may some day find them and be glad to have found out more about our Canadian content, people and so on and so forth.

I have read every book in the Lords of the Underworld series. I just finished ‘The Darkest Craving’ (Gena Showalter’s latest in the Lord’s of the Underworld series) while sitting in my favourite breakfast restaurant.

All of Gena Showalter’s books are all too easy to get into. She has a writing style which you fall into. When you actually pull yourself out of the story and look around you, it’s dark… maybe the weather has changed and did you really need to catch that bus, keep that appointment, get out of bed that morning anyway?…

The Lord’s of the Underworld are immortal warriors (and yes, I know you’ve heard that one before, stick with me) they open Pandora’s box, let out various and assorted evils into the unsuspecting world. In penance, they are each given one of the evils which they released. The rest are given to others who were prisoners in the same underworld realm at the time. Each Lord of the Underworld was created fully grown, in order to be a warrior. So they have no family, no childhood, but they do have each other – and of course, the great women they meet along the way.

Kane, the Keeper of Disaster Meets Josephina, the Blood Slave and Daughter to the Fae King

In this book the hero is Kane, the keeper of disaster. Disaster is the name (and always the focus) of the demon who lives inside Kane. So, every time Kane does something which makes him happy, Disaster causes terrible things to happen. Mostly, floors begin cracking as he is standing on them, I did think more could have been done with this in the book but it wasn’t a big issue for me.

Kane meets Josephina Aisling. He calls her Tinker Bell, or Tink. A theme with so many romance books is past pain, abuse and so on. This is true for Josephina and Kane as well. (Sometimes I find this theme gets a bit tiresome but the writing, the story and the characters save this book from falling off my list of books I will always read).

Josephina and Kane like each other right away, though Josephina actually saved Kane from hell and asked that he kill her as payment. She wants to stop being the whipping girl for her sister who lives with the rest of her family in the lands of Fae. Kane, recovering from abuse in hell and feeling the guy always left out from his group of warrior friends, feels he has finally found the woman who is “mine”.

Of course, all ends well. Kane and Josephina rule the lands of the Fae together and the bad king and queen are locked away in the dungeons under the palace. The evil brother and the disinterested sister have a story of their own and will likely appear in another book in the Gena Showalter, Lords of the Underworld series.

If you want to find a paranormal romance series you can really enjoy reading, this is your series. But, it is a light read, not a lot of depth to the story and I find the abuse which the characters suffer is glossed off rather than actually dealt with. They fall in love and all become right with the world. Taken as a good read, you will not find many which will as great as this book and the others in the series.

Get into the Lords of the Underworld series one (or more) book at a time.

My favourite of the Lords of the Underworld warriors has been Gideon, the keeper of lies. I've listed this book below. Or, you can get into the series with the first three books, or go for more and get the bigger collection if you have time for a lot of reading. These books are hard to put down.

This is the only thing I've posted to the Medium site. I think about writing more, but I'm not sure how personal I want to be outside of this site which isn't likely to be read by anyone. So I post here.

It starts out small. You don’t suspect at all. One day you just have a bit more stuff than space, more stuff than time or energy. So you make a pile of it. Maybe on the seat of a chair, a stack on a shelf, a junk drawer in the kitchen. A few things tossed on your bed while you tidy up the rest of the room.

Hoarding comes along easy.

That pile of stuff on the chair doesn't get dealt with and next time you want to use the chair the stuff is in the way. A minor annoyance so you stash it somewhere else. A temporary fix, right?

Sometimes you may get caught up and avoid the start of a hoard. Usually you don’t. I don’t. I have a stash of unfinished work on nearly every surface available in my bedroom, most of the floor space is taken up with bags of stuff to do. I also have books, some tidy and organized on their shelves and some in stacks on the floor, or in bags. The non-fiction books are things I wanted to do, the person I thought I could be.

The rest of the house is tidy. Right now. I don’t live alone half the year. But, that’s part of the problem too. She is a clutter freak. Anything left out bothers her. I like having my coffee pot and the coffee grinder out on the kitchen counter. Why not, I use them every day at least once. I clean up any spilled coffee grounds or drips from the pot. There is no mess, just two pieces of kitchen gadgets out in open space. It took time but I’m now allowed to have them out.

Anything else I want to keep must be stashed away. This means adding it to other stashes, stacks and piles of stuff in my room. Stuff gets lost in there. It is a jungle of piles and stacks and stashes of assorted stuff I need or at least don’t want to have taken, thrown out, or lost.

Ironic that I keep things here to avoid losing them when I've long gotten past the point of being able to keep track and find much any more. But, its not forgotten. Things my (well intentioned) family have thrown away, I remember. Some more than others, of course.

Once, they threw away almost almost everything when I was away for a couple of weeks. I came back to an almost empty room. It was nice to see the floor but, there was nothing left of me in there. Privacy invaded. It was like I had died and they got rid of all my stuff along with burying my body. I felt like a walking corpse for a long time.

Hoarding happens when you need to hold on to things and run out of better options, or space.

Don’t think hoarding, keeping things, is taking the easy way out. Living this way is frustrating, for me more than anyone else. They may think whatever they like and they believe the problem is me. It is and yet it isn't just me.

A lot of the stuff here are things other people want me to do for them. Tasks and jobs and demands I have not found time or energy to do. Do you know the old joke about a round tuit? Look that one up. If you ever do find that legendary round tuit please send it to me when you’re done tuiting.

I need to say no but that isn't so simple. I won’t get into all of that. It’s an exercise in frustration to explain my need to be perfect and fix everything, do too much and prove myself to anyone who isn't inside my own head. So, just know that it is very hard for me to say no to family and friends who ask for simple, small favours. I add their projects, errands, lists, problems, and assorted other things to my hoard of to-do.

I don’t think anyone outside of hoarders can understand the pressure of having too much stuff around them. It weighs on you, it pushes against you and it limits you mentally, emotionally and physically too. I hate having just a small path trough my bedroom from the door to the bed with the computer desk being along that same path. I can’t put my clean clothes away because I can’t reach the closet. I can’t start tidying up because I no longer know where to begin. It’s all a chain. One thing leads to another and another. To pull one string means pulling another and finding a place to put the first string before I can pull the next string. But, there is no more room to put anything. A pile falls over and that is a frustrating and hopeless feeling.

I toss a pile of papers and old photos onto another stack of papers piled up on the floor. Another task demanded and no time or energy to do it. Another weight added to the pressure. Another layer added to the stuff I already can’t deal with! It lands atop the other stuff and I’m angry because this was demanded of me and I know I can’t do more and this is just more of more.

People think a hoarder is an awful thing: dirty, miserable, derelict. I’m not any of those things. Not ever miserable. I live my life around this hoard and I try to function in spite of it all. I can’t let go and give up the things in this hoard which I actually value. I don’t want to give up on the person I thought I could be, the things I thought I would do. I can’t give up on the things I said I would do, even the things I never actually agreed to do. I feel pressure and guilt and anger. It’s depressing, oppressing.

A simple solution is to deal with some small part of it each day.

Seems simple enough. Until you start somewhere and get caught up in one thing for too long. One thing leads to another problem when you don’t have enough space to work in. Too many things are buried and it is frustrating to know they are there but out of reach. To begin finding what I need causes the moving of the hoard which means the things which were on top (the things I could locate) will now be moved and become the things I can’t find.

Hoarding is a trap.

During half the year when I live here alone I take a few days and then begin moving things out of my space and into another spare room. I get some clearance, some room to move and work. At first the release of having space and feeling hope again is just nice in itself. I haven’t thrown anything away but I have space again. Having space makes me feel I have some control, and can actually do something about all of it.

I make some progress. Last time I began with clothes. I sorted out a lot of clothes I haven’t worn in years and those which I won't be wearing now that I’m no longer 20-something. I had them all ready to go to the Salvation Army thrift store. I felt good thinking some other woman would be able to wear those clothes. But, I got caught up in road blocks.

I was stopped from giving away the clothes because other people thought I shouldn't just give them away. “You can’t just give away something that still has value! Some day you may fit into that again. That dress used to look so great on you”.

Isn't that funny? I thought I was the hoarder.

Oh Canada!

Why become the Squidoo Contributor for "Oh Canada"?

First, I am Canadian. Born in down town Toronto, grew up in and around Ontario but mainly in the town of Port Union (which became Scarborough, a suburb of Toronto). I have travelled across Canada on the Via train, Greyhound bus, and by camper van, staying in youth hostels and the odd fancy hotel when the budget stretched enough. I've been from the ocean in Vancouver out to the ocean on PEI (Prince Edward Island). I have yet to be north enough to see the Canadian tundra - but I have been to Timmons and Thunder Bay at least twice.

Secondly, I really love to find out about Canadian art, history, culture, people, places, traditions.... all of it. When I see the word Canada on something it pops out at me and I will read whatever it is about. Even something I would otherwise not have an interest in or not even like all that much. I absorb Canadiana, greedily. That doesn't mean I immerse myself in everything, there is only so much of me I can give, but I like to know the good, bad, and the ugly so I can create a whole picture of what Canada is and who we, as a people in the world, are.

I think it is a shame for people to say they are Canadian if they have not done some travelling to see Canada and meet more of the people than they find in the area they begin in. Canadians are told we don't have a real identity so we often defend ourselves with what culture, art and history is uniquely our own. That is a shame too because it just shows how well we know Canada is the country which people think of as nice but don't really know who we are.

So, that is why I have taken on the challenge, the project, of being the Contributor for "Oh Canada". I want to teach the world (at least those who stop by here) about Canada and Canadians.

My Background (like an About Me).

I am a proud Canadian and I do like to write about, research, and teach the world about Canada and Canadians.

I photograph abandoned, derelict farm houses. I like the history, the feeling of something surviving in spite of time and neglect. I like the way old buildings give us so many links to both our past and our culture. Travelling around Ontario (day trips and some over nights) I take a lot of backroads, get coffee in local restaurants and I keep in touch with other explorers across Canada through the groups I founded and moderate on Flickr.

I especially like Canadian music, literature and movies/ TV shows. Here we get so much media from the US it can be overwhelming. I make a point to support our own Canadian media by watching and listening to CBC, the oldest Canadian broadcaster and the most Canadian focused of them all. If you want to know about Canadian music, writers and others you can count on the CBC to have current news and old facts in their archives too.

I studied Canadian Literature as a course in high school and college. I do read a lot of everything, not just Canadian, but I am aware of Canadian writers and did belong to an online group (until it folded). I had thought to start up another group but that does take a huge amount of time and energy so it on a project on the backburner. Meanwhile I continue to write my site for writers and it does have some focus on Canadian resources (just because that is what I find most useful for myself, as a Canadian freelance writer).

As the Oh Canada Contributor at Squidoo I would be happy to bring some niches of Canadian culture, history and art to light.

Canada Day in 2017 Will be Canada's 150th Birthday 1867 - 2017

There are women gamers who play DnD too. (People sometimes shorten the name, Dungeons and Dragons, to DnD).

There is so much to a game I can’t begin to describe and explain all of it. But, I do think this is a great game for women and families especially. It may have a reputation as a geeky game for a bunch of college boys. That is so limiting.

I played Dungeons & Dragons with my family in the 1980′s. My nephew played with young men and a few young women in high school too. I know there are women players out there. I would love to be part of a regular group of all women DnD players.

Essentially a role playing board game.

To play the game you need a group of people, at least three. One is the Dungeon Master and the other two are players.

The players create a character by choosing some elements and rolling a dice for others. This way no character is ever just like another character. The random chance of rolling the dice brings some unpredictability to the game. Not everything is in your control and levelling up becomes more important as your characters advances in the game. You will find yourself learning new skills as well. Map making and orientation are two great things I learned more about as I played DnD.

Then there is the Dungeon Master. It may sound sinister or creepy but the Dungeon Master (shortened to the DM at times) is the one who plans the route of the game, literally. The Dungeon Master creates a world, a campaign or a map (depending on how much time is available for the game) and the players venture into it.

Players explore the map one virtual step at a time. The DM has set up traps, treasure and monster for them to find along the way. Each step of the game can be a surprise, a puzzle to solve or players could muck up their map making and become very lost and confused. This is why you can’t just step into a game of DnD without setting things up ahead and learning at least something about map making.