Original post from Adult BackWash, when I wrote a weekly column called Bait and Switch: Thursday May 30, 2002

I set up this column with Ringman, the Backwash founder, in secrecy. In fact, I've been around Backwash about a year on and off. I write another column over in original Backwash. But, I didn't feel comfortable coming out about my BDSM side. There are a lot of stereotypes for women. Things a nice girl does and doesn't do. Nice girls get treated like nice girls and those other girls, well, they're just sluts aren't they?

At one point in my life I thought I was going to die a virgin. I was over 30 when I had sex with a real live human male. I actually took my own cherry with a vibrator I bought in an adult store and I was in my later 20's then. Even that had to happen when I was thousands of miles away from home.

Not that my Mother was/ is someone prim and proper. Heck, I was her second pregnancy and she was 20 when I was born. The first pregnancy was aborted. If it hadn't been for that kid's being aborted I wouldn't be here today. Mom told me that she didn't want to abort a second baby so she married my Dad. My Dad is a jerk most of the time, I've always thought she should have run while she could.

Anyway, that's all getting way off the topic. I grew up as a nice girl in a middle class neighborhood in the suburbs of a very large city. Sex wasn't something taboo but we weren't about to open up a bordello for a bit of extra income either. You get the idea.

I was a virgin for so long because I didn't meet any guy I wanted to get naked with. You are pretty vulnerable at that point. My Dad spent a lot of years heaping emotional abuse on me, mainly about how I looked. That didn't make me feel better about myself and I often loaded up on goodies to make up for it. So, by the time I was 20 I was chubby, had less than perfect skin and any time I might have a bit of self esteem it would be blown to bits when ever I looked at movies, magazines and all the other places "they" tell us we should all look like air brushed photos of skeletal women.

So, dropping my drawers was pretty much the last thing I wanted to do to attract the opposite sex. I think I choose my husband as my first (and only) lover because he was someone who felt a lot like I did. We were both virgins. But, if anyone asks me what the hottest sex I have ever had was, that was it! To be touched so reverently, cautiously, it made me feel like a goddess- priceless, valued and very sexy. Of course, that's all dust in the wind now.

Anyway, am I a mutant freak? Does anyone else have kinky fantasies or better yet, kinky sex? Does it turn you on to think of being seduced? Do you have rape fantasies? Do you think it would be fun to tie up a strong man and have your way with him? Or do you really, secretly just want to be Daddy's little girl?

Seasons Greetings,

It's always some season and greetings work year round, just like gardeners and home owners. Whether you live in a mansion on the ocean or a squishy little apartment in the middle of a city this newsletter is for you.

Right now on my balcony I have a chrysanthemum which is growing amazingly fast due to all the rain we've been having here. There have been weather and flood warnings almost every day lately. Today looks perfect though. The sky is blue with just streaks of clouds.

Well, now what? That's just what I was thinking. Let's see what you're thinking. Feedback makes the world go round!

This was the first Home and Garden newsletter which I wrote for the BackWash site.

Home and Garden - Outdoors and Inside, for the workers and the dreamers.

Seasons Greetings,

It's always some season and greetings work year round, just like gardeners and home owners. Whether you live in a mansion on the ocean or a squishy little apartment in the middle of a city this newsletter is for you.

Right now on my balcony I have a chrysanthemum which is growing amazingly fast due to all the rain we've been having here. There have been weather and flood warnings almost every day lately. Today looks perfect though. The sky is blue with just streaks of clouds.

Well, now what? That's just what I was thinking. Let's see what you're thinking. Feedback makes the world go round!

Write about your ideal, best day. How would it start? What would you do and who would be with you? What season would it be, summer, spring, autumn or winter? Maybe you would swim and skate on the same day, skating at an indoor rink in the summer. Would you have a pack of friends over and eat birthday cake, play video games and ride horses outside? Finally, as the day is fading and the sky begins to get dark, how would your perfect day end?

Here is my perfect day, or some ideas for it. I would wake up and the sun would be pouring in my window. The wallpaper would glow in the sunshine, but it would still be really early in the morning, about 5:00 or 6:00. I would get up and wear my favourite clothes, probably jeans and a denim shirt to match. I wouldn't need to do all the boring stuff like brushing my hair and teeth, that would just be done automatically.

When I go downstairs my whole family are home, even my Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles who have died. We would have a great big breakfast, cooking and cleaned up by robot servants so that none of us would have to stop talking to pour more coffee or juice or get seconds on pancakes. The breakfast would be bacon and eggs, buttermilk pancakes, toast, homefries, and omelets. Served with coffee, tea and fresh orange juice. It would be like a weekend day so the big weekend newspapers would be there. Each of us could take a section and read a bit and chat about what we read.

When the robots cleared away all the mess from the table we would all play euchre, a card game my Grandma always used to love. The robots would keep everyone served with coffee and snacks while we played. Finally, it would be time to get outside and away from the kitchen. Everyone would go for a walk in the woods. We used to have a deep ravine behind our house when I was a kid. You could see all kinds of birds and small animals who lived in the ravine. It was a lot of fun to walk down there and see different rocks, animal holes, rotting trees, plants, wildflowers, mould and fungus on rocks and trees, sticks and the water at the bottom of the ravine too. My brother and I built kind of a fort too. There was a path at the end of our street which went through the ravine. That is where we would all walk, it would be easier for the older folks and still plenty to see.

We would come back from the walk and it would be time for most of the family to go home. Everyone would say good bye, wave and honk horns and then they would be gone. So, I would get in my car and drive over to the big bookstore to browse around the magazines and books. I really like the bookstore. Not many people that I know enjoy it as much as I do. I can spend hours in there.

But, on my perfect day I would have so much to do that I would only spend an hour there, just have a fancy coffee and skim some magazines. Check the shelves for books about writing, computers and other topics that interest me. Then I would hop in the car and go to the train station. I'd take the brand new super train and go to the west coast of Canada in just an hour. (It would have to be a super train cause the trip really takes a few days). On the coast I would finally get out to Victoria in British Columbia and see the lakes and mountains in the Okanogan. Then, I would take the super train again and go to Ottawa, Ontario and be just in time for the tulip festival. After that I would get the train back to Toronto and spend the rest of the day walking and window shopping in downtown Toronto. There is another big bookstore there too. But I'd like to wander around the Eatons Centre mostly.

When the sky became dusky I'd have a look at what movies were on downtown. If something good was coming on in the next few minutes I'd buy a ticket. If there was nothing appealing I'd pick up a coffee at The Second Cup and pick a hotel to stay at overnight downtown. For a late night dinner I could order pizza up to the hotel room or choose something else along the way. I might go to the Swiss Chalet or a fancy place where I could get a club sandwich and fries. I really like staying in a hotel, you can leave the TV on all night and watch a bit of some show or other until you fall back to sleep again. Also, hotels always have nice beds, with good mattresses. The last things I would do for my perfect day would be ordering a special coffee and dessert tray to be delivered by room service and giving myself a night of pampering with a deep conditioner for my hair and a long, hot shower.

I hope your perfect days are as good as my own.

Originally posted to Bait and Switch, my column at Adult BackWash: Sunday May 26, 2002

Thick, solid oak the new dining room table stood on four legs and wasn't likely to budge if a train hit it. If the legs hadn't been detachable, it never would have fit through the doors and into the house. The moving men were glad to see the last of it. Chris's Governess made sure to tip them and ask if they cared for a cold drink before they left. She made sure it was positioned exactly. She couldn't have shifted it around herself after they had left.

The first thing she did was dust and polish the table. It was elegantly carved with swirls down four sturdy legs and more carving on the sides of the table. The top was perfectly smooth and flat. She admired the wood grain as she stroked and rubbed and polished the table. Little Chris was going to be surprised. She smiled down at her reflection in the tabletop. There was still a lot to do before little Chris came home. …more