There are women gamers who play DnD too.

(People sometimes shorten the name, Dungeons and Dragons, to DnD).

There is so much to a game I can't begin to describe and explain all of it. But, I do think this is a great game for women and families especially. It may have a reputation as a geeky game for a bunch of college boys. That is so limiting.

I played Dungeons & Dragons with my family in the 1980s. My nephew played with young men and a few young women in high school too. I know there are women players out there. I would love to be part of a regular group of all women DnD players.

You might pick up the Dungeons & Dragons Starter Set from Amazon. This is my affiliate link. The Starter Set is worth including and does give you the dice, rulebook, and etc. so you don't need to buy anything else to get playing. I'd suggest not buying fancier dice, roleplaying figures, and anything else until you know you like the game and will continue to play. It can become a very expensive hobby if you start buying extras.

Essentially a role playing board game.

To play the game you need a group of people, at least three. One is the Dungeon Master and the other two are players.

The players create a character by choosing some elements and rolling a dice for others. This way no character is ever just like another character. The random chance of rolling the dice brings some unpredictability to the game. Not everything is in your control and levelling up becomes more important as your characters advances in the game. You will find yourself learning new skills as well. Map making and orientation are two great things I learned more about as I played DnD.

Then there is the Dungeon Master. It may sound sinister or creepy but the Dungeon Master (shortened to the DM at times) is the one who plans the route of the game, literally. The Dungeon Master creates a world, a campaign or a map (depending on how much time is available for the game) and the players venture into it.

Players explore the map one virtual step at a time. The DM has set up traps, treasure and monster for them to find along the way. Each step of the game can be a surprise, a puzzle to solve or players could muck up their map making and become very lost and confused. This is why you can't just step into a game of DnD without setting things up ahead and learning at least something about map making.

Wizards of the Coast -D&D Beyond Dragon Con

Working as an artist, of any kind, can be isolating and sad with hints of rejection and self doubt. Give yourself a break, look up now and then and find good things to inspire and keep you going.

1. Find 3 good things every day, whether they are experiences, or objects, or both. Find a way to use them in art.

2. Make everything special. Embellish your life.

3. Look for Fairy God-mothers and Angels. Be ready for experiences that will delight and surprise you.

4. Play more often.

5. Look for the smiling faces.

6. Wish everyone a happy life.

7. Find something to love about where you are everyday.

8. Make art everyday.

9. Create time for yourself.

10. Honor thy grandmothers as much as possible. (Of course grandfathers need honor too, but historically and culturally we are a little weaker in the honoring grandmother side of things.)

11. Play with the grandchildren as much as possible.

12. Create beauty with what you have on hand.

13. Make art with friends. Make art as gifts.

14. Create a list of secrets for a happy life and pass it on.

via - 14 Secrets for a Happy Artist's Life.

I have an unplanned collection of coffee makers. I even have a couple which are old enough to be considered vintage.

The pot I use most often is the French press. I've got three of them now. One is the well-known Bodum brand. The others are brands I don't remember any more, one was no-name. The one I take with me when I visit or travel is the smallest French press. It's great because I can make coffee as long as I can boil water. No need for filters or a stove element to percolate the coffee through the machine.

That brings me to the percolators in my collection. The one I like best is Corningware. It has those blue flowers on a white pot. I found it at a thrift store and miraculously it was not only clean but had all the parts too. I've only used it once, so far. It's a large pot and I don't need to make that amount of coffee on a standard coffee-drinking kind of day. I like to watch the percolator pots, especially those with the clear knob on top so you can see the coffee get thrown up to the top of the pot each time.

I also have an espresso percolating pot. I had a second one but it got broken up for parts when my Mother needed the rubber ring for one of her espresso pots. It seems to always be that rubber ring inside of them that wears out first. Actually, unless something pretty dire happens I doubt much could cause the failure of those metal espresso coffee makers.

I don't have a ceramic drip cone filter and pot. That would be a nice addition. But, it wouldn't be simple for taking on the road. You would have to have filters and worry about it getting chipped or cracked. I do have my old Melitta cone filter and drip pot. I even still have the lid for the pot. They are made in a different plastic from that which is around now. They feel really solid and it takes a lot of effort to find any bend in them. I prefer not to bend them. I hope the set will last until I'm a very old lady and beyond.

• Flickr: Coffee Maker Museum
• Flickr: Coffee A Damn Fine Product (Vintage)
• Silver Coffee Pot
• Etsy: Coffeetropolis
• Royal Coffee Maker: History of the Coffee Maker

Each time I read a title claiming to have a cure or remedy for menopause I laugh. There is no cure. Menopause is not something to be healed, it's a cycle of life for women. It's something that happens like birth, death and taxes. But, it doesn't have to be miserable.

Let yourself think about the whole thing, the big picture and find your own way through it and out to the other side. One way or another you are going to get there. It's up to you how the ride, the journey, goes.

This is not an easy topic for me to write about. I am 52, or will be in less than a month, I've never had children though I have been married. I would have liked children, instead I have looked after a lot of other children all my life. Most of all, I've been feeling old and the fact that I have menopause ahead of me, hasn't been something I feel okay about. So, I'm not writing this as someone who has all the answers, more like someone searching for the answers myself. No professionals required. Which of us is really a professional anyway?

From the start of our years as a young woman we begin teaching ourselves how to be women, how the woman's body works and what does it mean to be a woman in the world today. There are some written guidelines. There are a lot of spoken guides and a whole pile of double standards.

I'm a woman, born this way, lived this way, cleaned up my own blood for years this way. Being a woman is not about wearing a dress, putting on cosmetics and smelling nice. There is more to being a woman than the fact that we have different plumbing. We bleed. I don't think that should be taken so lightly or passed off as our obligation to the species, or whatever other babble religious officials and the male gender tend to tell us.

By now you must have heard that old thing about not trusting something that can bleed for 7 days and not die. Well, that's us, the magical, mystical woman. We can bleed, we do bleed and we do it so often it becomes a part of who we are. Menstruation becomes part of our identity, like having breasts or not growing a beard on our faces (for the most part). It's more than hormones.

Stay on the Sunny Side

So it does shake you up when you get to that age. The age where menopause becomes a reality, not just a word you learned how to spell.

I think it is easier for those who had children (or those who really never wanted them). You don't need to wonder what the point of all this blood, cramps, mood swings, mess and ruined underwear has been for all these years. As you take your Midol because the cramps have gotten worse in these last few years... I don't think those with children can feel the anger I feel. I don't have to apologize or explain it or avoid it. It's there and it's how I feel.

Of course, what we feel only matters to us. Menopause waits for no woman.

It would be nice to have a date for it. Menopause will start at 1:34AM on December 14th and end on December 16th, roughly 2:45PM. There isn't a schedule though. No plan and no knowing just when it will start or finish or what all the symptoms will be.

We hear about hot flashes. If our Mothers were around at the time, we know what they went through. I remember my Grandmother telling my Mother she should just have surgery and get it all taken out, like spare parts. My Grandmother just wanted her daughter to avoid pain, or what she thought of as a painful experience.. In fact, my Mother had a very easy menopause as much as I remember. We did talk about it so it's not that I wasn't there or didn't hear.

My sister-in-law just had a hysterectomy. It wasn't what she would have chosen. But, she has had endometriosis for many years and though she is sad about not having been able to have children - I think part of her is glad. An end to suffering is a good thing.

Today I'm writing this on the third day of my period. I wonder how many of them I have had since I was that 12 year old kid. I wonder how many more of them I will still have. I won't miss much about menstruation. I'm tired of dealing with it.

On the other hand, the mystery of menopause is just ahead of me. My friend, Deanna, is already there and she is just a few months older than I am. Her symptoms are things I'd be glad to do without. So, I'm hoping I will take after my Mother when the time comes. But, there's nothing we can know for sure but the fact that it will come and then, one day... it will be over and life will go on.

Women have to endure a lot with our bodies all our adult lives. I didn't get pregnant and give birth. But, I've been here in the trenches all these years. I'm sure I will get through menopause too. In the end, it will be nice to have it done and see how life is on the other side.

Each time I buy maxi pads now I think... this could be the last time I ever need to buy these! That's the thought that cheers me up. I guess we each need to find our own encouraging and happy thought (or thoughts) when it comes to menopause.

As we get older we are told to think of ourselves as goddesses, getting better, like a fine wine. Those are nice sentiments. In reality, I feel we are supposed to fade into the background like a nice old granny (even if we never had children). I want to find something good about menopause. I want to feel happy about who I am in this time of my life. Most of all, I don't want to feel that I'm done. I went to Amazon, looking at the books with so much advice, mostly medical and promises of cures. You can't "cure" menopause! I noticed this book and it offered me the magic and happiness I want without even knowing that is what I lacked. Menopause has taken some of my spirit away. I don't want someone telling me I'm more powerful than ever and I should be out there taking over the world. I just want my own world to be a better place, again. That would be enough for me. I'm going to take a look at this book and I'm passing the link along with high hopes for all of us.

People expect a cashier to be friendly, quick and accurate. Cashiers try to be all of those but it's not so simple. The job of cashier is not as simplistic as it seems on the surface, from the other side of the retail counter.

Cashiers will gripe about customers. You can read about that online if you want to. I actually liked being a cashier (most of the time) and I found nearly all my customers were easy to work with. The focus of the cashier is the transaction. Make sure the customer has what they need and be friendly but we always have the store management looking over our shoulder too. The store will tell cashiers the customer is their first priority but, that isn't what they really mean. For me this was the part of working in customer service which I did not like.

Overall, I did like helping people, making sure they left with what they needed and (if I was having a good day) I could even see them leave the store feeling better than when they came in.

The following are points which can help both the cashier and the customer. If you want a speedier check out, friendlier service or more service read all of this and keep it in mind next time you are shopping. You can help yourself to get more from the cashier, if you plan ahead and use some common courtesy for the cashier and your fellow shoppers too.

Conversation

Conversation is nice. It breaks up my day and cashiers are encouraged to interact with customers. But, we also get pressure to keep the line moving, to not say the wrong thing and promote more purchases. As a cashier conversation is tricky.

I had to learn to ignore the line up. There was no other way to be friendly and not feel over pressured, impatient or rushed. I did have customers who came in and ended up staying too long. I was good at starting a conversation and... I really did get personal satisfaction in turning someone's mood around.

Still, the management would put pressure on me to use this time to get people to buy more, apply for credit cards, gift cards and so on.

Also, cashiers are given a formula and the management does not like it when cashiers stray from that formula. Skipping steps, taking extra time with customers are not appreciated by management. Yet, they also tell us to make the customer feel welcome, appreciated and not rushed.

Bags and Packing

Packing up items was something I grew to like. It became a challenge to fit everything in just right, in good order, safely without making the bag too heavy - or using too many bags.

I've since seen some creative bag packing when I am a shopper. One cashier put the heavy bags of milk (that's how it comes in Ontario) on the bottom and the eggs on top. Creative... but not so practical. Milk tends to flop around in a bag. Eggs, being lighter, tend to sink lower in the bag. This is not such a great combination in one bag. Maybe the cashier was bored and wanted to pay a game. I caught it and was careful how I got that bag out to the car, up the stairs and into the house. Someone else probably had broken eggs.

Packing up bags isn't just important for groceries. Clothing needs to be folded and not put in the same bag with anything possibly leaking or heavy. No one wants to get home and discover their laundry soap was not capped as well as they thought in the bag.

Bagging is an art. A creative art but a science too.

You can help the cashier and make it go faster by putting things out in order. Keep frozen stuff together. Keep light and heavy things sorted out. You don't have to think too much, just be aware in case your cashier isn't.

If you change your mind about something while at the check out just give it to the cashier. We have a place under the counter for anything like that. Please don't leave items around the counter, on candy shelves and such - especially groceries which can spoil or small items which roll under something or be stepped on/ tripped over by someone else.

Give the Cashier Some Space (Especially When you're Sick)

Please, if you are shopping because you took the day off work due to illness - please don't lean in to talk to me. Please wash your hands and don't touch me. I only get paid if I show up for work. This means any sick days I take off due to illnesses I catch from customers cost me money. This means I'm making even less per week at what is already not a well paid job.

If you must go shopping when you are sick - keep your germs to yourself.

I don't really understand why people want to come out to stores when they could be home watching televisions, goofing around online or just enjoying a day to themselves while everyone else is at school or work. But, many, many, many people do wind up visiting cashiers and sharing their colds, viruses, bacteria, infections.

At the very least - don't lean in close or take hold of my sleeve to draw me near to you when you know you're sick with something contagious.

On a side note, don't lean on the counter from behind me either. Sick or not. When the store is busy and line ups are packed the last thing an over-worked cashier needs is to feel she has no space, is crowded and become claustrophobic This happened to me during one Christmas holiday. People kept pressing in closer and closer and then some guy, leaning on the half wall next to me, actually jabbed his elbow into my head (accidentally but he did not even bother to see if I was ok). It was all I could do to last to the end of my shift that day, actually my shift plus an extra four hours for another cashier who didn't show up.

Overall, please respect the cashier and give her (or him) some space.

Don't Ask or Expect the Cashier to Leave the Register/ Counter

Understand that I am not supposed to (or allowed) to leave my register unless I have signed off. I can not leave to help you carry things out to your car, or pick up something broken or any other of a thousand things. This is especially true if I am the only cashier at the time. Try the customer service desk, if there is one.

I would like to help you. I would really like to get away from standing hours in the same place too. But, I'm just a cog in the wheel and I can't abandon my counter or cash register until I sign out and leave it locked with another cashier available to keep working.

Of course, there are exceptions for emergencies. But, even then I have to lock up because I will be held responsible if I don't.

Please don't abandon your shopping cart in the way of other shoppers after you have gone through the line. I will have to sign out of the register and walk around (usually the long way) and then return the cart to where ever it needs to go. This holds up the line but I can't have people tripping over the cart or letting it be cluttering up the front of the store.

Sale Prices and Damaged Goods

A cashier should study the store flyer, the sales for the week before she starts for the day. However, this does not always happen during holiday rushes. I was often asked to start an hour early and stay an hour or four late. My breaks were cut to five minutes instead of 15 due to things beyond my control. There was no time to study the sale prices until I was actually behind the counter with customers who expected me to already know the sales.

If you have a flyer with the sale price bring it up. That did help. The store I worked at would allow the cashiers some discrepancy about sale prices, damaged goods and just promoting good feelings with customers.

Do not throw a fit and become loud and demanding. Trust me, this does not actually work with every cashier. It never worked with me. I would just become angry myself and politely deny all their requests and demands. I did not owe them a sale price just because they insisted they were right (when they had only their own say-so).

Have your coupons ready. If you want to do price matching tell me at the start of the transaction. This makes it easier for me to sort things out for the computer. Some stores may still want coupons processed differently, in a manual way. So this will take extra time but it is not a bother - if you give us notice. Lately I have seen stores which are able to jut scan the coupons and the computer catches the items and adds the sale price. The department store I worked at was a bit hit or miss this way. I would make sure the sale price went through if I knew about it ahead.

Don't Interrupt Another Customer Unless someone has passed out in line, or a child is lost or a fire has broken out... it is really very disrespectful and impolite to interrupt another customer when they are being served. I never liked this, it was boorish and rude and though I could not ignore the person, I would not drop everything to help them either

If you need directions or some other assistance find a store employee who is available. In my case, the customer service desk was just steps away but people would sometimes just push their way past the customer I was helping and expect I would help them instead. For me, the customer I was actually dealing with was my focus and I would get rid of the interloper as quickly as I could. I did not always take the time to help them as well as I could have if they had just waited their turn - or at least waited until I was finished with the customer and had not yet started the next.

Cell Phones and Other Distractions

Don't expect great customer service if you come to my counter talking to someone else. Cell phones especially, I'm not sure if you are talking to me or your phone.

It can be tricky dealing with a group of people at the counter. Parents with small children may be distracted watching them, this is understandable, to a point. Children who are out of control are not something I can deal with for you. I can't give them free gifts, make them promises or give them stern warnings. I will keep them from sitting on my counter, taking bags or abusing me. No cashier has to put up with physical abuse from any customer, or their children.

A group of people at the cash is always a bit of confusion. I try to keep track of the person who is actually the customer, the one I am checking out at the moment. If the person is talking and goofing around with friends and not paying attention, I just do the best I can.

10 Items or Less and Express Lines

The idea of express lines is to help speed things up for people who want to get in and out and not wait behind someone who has bought more or wants to take time to chat with the cashier, debate about sales and so on. Please respect your fellow shoppers and stick to the right line.

As a cashier, I'm there for my shift whether everyone in the express line has 10 items or 100. I may not be impressed but I will go ahead and keep working. I leave it up to the other customers to give you the evil eye.

On a slightly related note - if you are my first customer of the day I will not be able to break a $100 bill or a $50. Just take it to customer service and they can get whoever is managing the cash to bring you smaller bills. I won't have them until at least an hour after my shift has started. Cashiers start with a float of cash. That amount has actually become smaller as debit and credit cards are used far more often than cash.

While I'm typing about cash... I can't give you rolls of quarters. Check with customer service though but best of all - ask at the bank where they have the money stashed.

If you are shopping on Seniors Day and want the discount, tell the cashier. It is really awful to ask someone is they are a senior and find out they are not.

Animals in the Store

Some cashiers like pets. Some are allergic to pets. I'm allergic to pets. Don't bring them into the store if they are not welcome and please do not expect every cashier to serve you when you bring livestock. Your pets are your little friends, not mine. They are not customers and never will be.

You may have though it was cute or clever to carry your pet around in the merchandise but now you need to pay for it. Don't take something clean and leave the chewed, dirty or hair covered item for someone else to buy. No one will ever buy something your pet has mangled in the store, or as a return.

I'm not going to mark down an item your animal has wrecked either. So don't ask.

Interact with the Cashier (We Like to be Friendly)

You may be having a really bad day, feeling deeply depressed or just want to be alone in the world. I don't know your personal situation but, please just once during the transaction look up at me. I don't need you to be entertaining but I do like to at least have a moment of eye contact.

Having typed this, I do understand not interacting with people you come across. Being too worn out to make the effort. Being too upset or sad to want to put yourself out there. Still, people who could not at least look at me were worse than people who tried to scam, yell or anything else.

Make a second of eye contact. You don't even have to smile.

Where Is... Getting Directions in the Store

A good cashier, or one who has been working in the store awhile, often does know where a lot of things are and what the store does (or does not) carry. So, I never minded people asking for help to find something. (If they waited for me to be between customers). I liked how well I could answer these questions. Not every cashier does. Some may be new or just never look around before or after their shift.

Many stores, like department stores, will have customer service people on the floor who can also help with directions and finding items. This was actually a job I did for awhile in a department store. (There was a lot of walking and running involved). See if you can find someone like this to help you if the cashiers are busy. Customer service is also there for the same reason. They even get a map of the store so they aren't just relying on their own personal knowledge of the store and the items sold in the store.

Also, try not to ask store staff for help if they are wearing a jacket over their uniform, or carrying their purse, etc. These are likely staff who are off the clock and may be cranky, tired or any of a lot of emotions which will not lead to friendly customer service. Of course, if you really need help anyone should be human enough to help you and there is no reason (even a double shift) for someone to at least find someone who is on the clock to take the time to help you.