This is a real post from Toronto Craigslist. So strange that a guy would ask for a woman who wants kids and then offer to pay her to get pregnant and abandon them. Would that be the kind of guy you would want to raise your kids?

Short term relationship Reply to: removed Date: 2006-03-22, 1:27PM EST

Have you been thinking of having kids and not sure if you can carry the financial burden? I am looking for a surrogate mother to bear my own kid/’s and in return you would be compensated for your time. Should you like to meet up for a chat and possibly take it further, feel free to reply and take it from there.

Another Ad for a Surrogate Mom

I’m not out looking for these things. I was looking at the Vancouver Craigslist cause there was a telecommuting job. Then I wandered into the personal ads cause they are always interesting. I wondered if there was much difference with men in Vancouver versus Toronto. I think it’s a bit more arty out there. Not much else of difference though. I was surprised to find the ad below. But, at least he isn’t intending to pay off the Mother and have her disappear. He seems to want a family but is looking for a short cut. My take on it anyway.

Looking for a pretty girl for Surrogacy Reply to: removed Date: 2006-03-21, 12:35PM PST

Hi,

I am an Asian graduate student in Vancouver, 175cm, 68kg, smart, healthy, nice, and for sure handsome. I am looking for a girl (specificly 18-28 years old, 165cm+, beautiful, smart, healthy and nice) whose race is different from me (Caucasian is prefered), for romantic and meaningful love and, possibly, its “product”: a baby. By the way, I am serious and responsible for the coming child and the mom.

Your pic will get mine, if you are interested.

Hope this will not disturb you. Thanks.

[bbe] Father, if it is your pleasure, take this cup from me: but still, let your pleasure, not mine, be done.

• this is in or around Vancouver

Comments (cut and pasted from the old blog this was originally posted to.)

At first, it hit me as really strange too, but as a single lady who never had a chance to have a family of my own, as much as I wanted one, I can kinda understand where he’s coming from. And it’s gotta be worse for a guy, since he can’t have the child himself. At least I could’ve if I chose to go that route. Comment by skye

I understand that part too. But, if he feels such a need to have kids why does he expect he can pay off the Mother and have her disappear. Also, why doesn’t he WANT the kids Mother to be around? Most women would want at the very least, contact with their kids. Would you give birth and then disappear with your pay cheque? Those would be YOUR kids, no matter what the arrangements you made with him are. I think it’s very strange. I would like to have kids, even still. But not this way. No way. I want to know my kids and have them know me. Comment by ThatGrrl

I never said I would be able to give them up. But, really, in a way, it’s like a woman giving up a child for adoption. Everyone has their reasons for doing so, and some are just very passionate about helping anyone they can to have a child. Some people don’t do it just for the money. Comment by skye

Putting the money issue aside. Don’t you think it’s odd that he wants to keep the kids but get rid of the Mother? Comment by ThatGrrl

No, I don’t. It’s not like he has feelings for this woman. If she stayed in the picture, she might want to have a say in how the kid was raised, which may go totally against how he wanted it raised. Comment by skye — March 23, 2006

I keep a blog, called That Blog, on Blogsome which is a free host for WordPress. I have my site, which has become a fixer upper, though I had so many great plans and I was even keeping up with it all for a few months. Then I decided to learn CSS and change all my pages. Well, the front page is done... that's about it so far.

I'm dating John, sort of. We began emailing after meeting through Toronto Craigslist personals. But we have not met yet. Things have gotten in the way. He is moving, I am going the entrepreneur route, he is job hunting, I am thinking about taking a web design course since the entrepreneur route is hard on the bank account, etc. I really like this guy though so I hope it works out. That would be a first. But, isn't that the point? If you find a good one you don't keep looking.

Last night I went on a spending spree at Chapters, the mega bookstore in this area. I went in for The Writers magazine and came out many dollars lighter. (Debit cards are a blessing and a curse). I bought a new thesaurus which I already love and A Writer's Book of Days which I'm building up into love for. Judy Reeves wrote it and I'll look her up online later.

Anyway, there is so much encouragement, inspiration and creativity in this book for writers. I highly recommend you find it at your local bookstore.

I've paraphrased and added my thoughts to one of her articles. This is one of her essays which caused me to buy the book.

Honour Yourself as a Writer

Name yourself a writer. Give your writing preference over your day job, affirm the place it holds in your life. Tell them you're a freelance writer when someone asks what you do. Let yourself be proud to be a writer, whether you're raking in the bucks from writing or not. Don't put your writing in second place, like a hobby you might mention if someone asks. Honour yourself as a writer, just like Judy Reeves says!

Make a place for your writing, furnish it with materials that support you and your writing. Keep the space sacred and go there joyfully. I especially like this idea from her book. Make yourself a writing alter, take notes from the Pagans on making an alter. But, whatever you do make the space where you write special, meaningful, uniquely you.

Get the equipment and accoutrements you need. Do you really let yourself spend a enough on what you need to write? Don't over spend but let yourself have what you need to write well. Don't give it hobby status if you don't want to keep writing as a hobby.

Make time for studying and practicing your craft: attend writing groups, workshops, writer's conferences, classes and lectures. If you're too busy to go far try a few writing email lists. See which one works for you and then become a regular (don't just lurk).

Schedule time with other writers. Find someone else who writes and plan time together to talk about writing and have some fun. Don't let yourself become too isolated from others who write and think about writing.

Read your writing to others. Say it aloud to those who can appreciate it. Read it at writing meetings, family gatherings and no occasion at all.

Transfer your writing from your notebook to the computer and print it out. Everything looks more professional in print. Save your writing in printed format and keep it all organized in files. There is no reason you can't even make up a zine yourself. Just add a little desktop publishing and you can create your own literary publication, starring you.

Submit material for publication. In spite of yourself and your fears respect your work in producing the writing and the writing itself and submit it for publications. Give yourself a chance, it only costs a stamp, some paper and the time to research your markets.

Celebrate when you've completed a work or hit a significant marker. Take a road trip, make a fancy coffee, get a manicure, soak in the tub, call a friend, buy that new thesaurus you wanted, whatever makes a celebration to you. You deserve it.

Accept compliments gracefully. Don't become your own worst critic when someone says your writing touched them, was a great read or made them think. Instead say thanks and give them more to read, point them to your website, the latest publication to buy your work, whatever you have to offer. Instead of denying your work, promote it.