The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists, two men and a woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances.

Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair ... Kill Her!!!"

The first man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife." The agent said, "You don't have what it takes ... take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions ... kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet.

The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You bastards didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks! I had to beat the son of a bitch to death with the chair!"

Kind of grim/ sexist humour. If it was a woman being beaten to death with a chair... it wouldn't have made me laugh at all.

They are having a bake sale at work today. There was a notice up on the boards about donating your baked goods. No time or contact information, just the date. It kind of annoyed me. Here I am, struggling to be a good, dutiful bill payer (usually wondering if there is life under all those bills) and now I should hustle baked goods for them? Not just the expense (which is hefty for all that butter and other goodies I don't keep around) but my time. I worked till close last night. That would give me this morning to get the supplies, do the baking and then show up for work 3 hours early to deliver them before noon. Why would I do that? Sure, it's for the associates fund but they don't even include the cashiers in any of their meetings. So, I stayed home and watched the snow flurries and updated the adult content here and there. I'm making an adult page for my ShopGrrl site but I won't link it from the main page. I like keeping it separate. I still have that nice grrl image thing to cope with. I'm not sure if it's all in my mind any more or whatever... But, it's there.

1. Name: Laura
2. Age: Bite me.
3. Where do you live: In a cave at the edge of the world. (Ontario for those will less imagination).
4. What makes you happy: Being alive everyday makes me happy. Little things make me happy, the big things give me orgasms of delight. 05: Fandoms: You can be my fan.
5. What have you been listening to lately: Radio, Lovers and Other Strangers was just on.
6. Favourite film: I don't know yet. I like Moulin Rouge, Princess Bride...
7. Favourite band/singer: Bryan Adams, Crast Test Dummies, Alanah Myles... assorted others.
8. Interesting fact about you: I've gotten to the point where I really can type faster than I think, usually typo free too. Somedays I amaze myself.
9. Are you in love at the moment: Not bloody likely.
10. Favourite destination: I'd really like to see Russia, also South America and so many other places. But, for now I settle for a booth in Williams Coffee Pub and a good book.
11. Favourite quote: The universe is full of magical things patiently waiting for our wits to grow sharper." - Eden Phillpotts "What's ahead of me and what's behind me are nothing compared to what's inside me." - Jean Shapiro
12. When is your birthday: December 19th.
13. Will you post this in your LJ: Yes.

Today was really decaffinated I got out of bed when I needed to pee.

I feel like I'm not quite, really on the planet.

I'm so sad. My kitten got run over this afternoon. I found him when I was coming home from school. His head was all squished. I took some photos. I'll miss him. Poor kitty.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

I want to tell the world bite me, slowly, sensually, just make it good.

I am updating this journal for the first time in ages, because I've been in prison.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my cock.

I want to say thanks to my left boob for keeping my right boob company.

I went to the doctor yesterday, and he said the blackmaill cheque would be late this week. And bipolar disorder.

You should all do this quiz! It's amazingly accurate. You just put in your name and birthday, and it will tell you what your favourite sexual position is.

I'm reading a book called "The Pleasure Slave". Why isn't this job listed on Monster.com?

That's enough for now. But I'll leave you with cold coffee. I'm going to make a fresh pot.

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Comments

gazehound

and I thought that "Kareem's" version of this was funny - yours totally tops it!

Love it.

green eyed kat

giggle I'm playing with ya...;)

gazehound

well of course then I HAVE to do the same, right? (hell, I'm under quarrantine so what else do I have to do?)

me

Not all of it was fictional. evil grin