Yet again I have escaped death! How you may wonder… did I dive with sharks or something adventurous like that. Why no, I crossed the street, with the lights at a well marked pedestrian crosswalk on a clear day. I was even wearing a red coat, almost a bonus stop sign for anyone tempted to drive over me.

I did not get hurt, much. The car went through a red light after the other cars had all stopped. After the pedestrian stick figure light was on, I noticed a car coming from the other side. I assumed it would stop as the other cars had. It didn’t stop, it didn’t even slow down much after it bumped into me and pushed me down into the yucky snow and road salt. My first thought was how much I’d like a handy rock to whip through his/ her back window. Just to help them notice me. Then I looked to get the licence plate but it was too far by the time my brain remembered to use common sense.

Afterwards, after I went back in, changed and missed my bus. After the weekend, I looked up a bit about pedestrians hit by cars. I was really lucky. It seems rare that a pedestrian walks away from being hit. I still consider it being hit, even though I did not end up under the car or flying through the air watching my blood spray the snow. I’m angry. Did you know how many people are killed by a car each day in your town? More than you think, most don’t even make the news any more. I don’t think that’s a good thing. I don’t consider it careless driving either. Whoever was driving that car didn’t care, true. But to call that careless is putting a happy face on something that could have been a nightmare for me and/ or my family.

Very unfair of the weather to go from unseasonably mild to freezing so quickly. I've noticed more spiders too. Tried to get a photo of one yesterday but it just came out all blurry. Then it moved to the inside of the kitchen sink and the flash spoiled it.

I'm cooking perogies for a late lunch/ early dinner. They are so good with sour cream. The afternoon soap opera is on. Some building is exploding. It all looks kind of silly. Phony. But I'm sure they are all sincere and trying hard to be dramatic. Somehow, there is just something about the way a soap opera is filmed that makes those big scenes look artificial. It might be something to do with how perfect everyone looks under the dirt smudges. People don't look that perfect, like they just stepped out of Vogue, during a catastrophe.

I stayed up writing last night. Now I am tired. I did go back to bed but it was so cold I didn't sleep much.

Tomorrow I decided not to do anything but head out to Newmarket. Makes it easier to just go to one place when the weather is so cold. I need to pack up a few overnight things. The bus takes about an hour to get from Toronto to Newmarket. It's kind of a nice trip. You can get a seat to yourself most of the time. I used to have a Walkman that I'd bring along for those long bus rides. I don't know where it is any more. Too bad the Go Bus has tinted windows, spoils the option of taking pictures out of the window along the way.

Time for those perogies. Have a great weekend if I don't get online again.

I like thinking about the possibilities without having to know or consider all the cold, hard facts. I like thinking about time travel, robots, aliens and my favourite… how civilization staggers upright after an end of the world catastrophe. It’s all creative ideas. True, it should grounded in facts somewhere along the way. But that doesn’t mean it has to be taken 100% seriously either. It should make your mind work, make you wonder.

If you could time travel where would you go, past or future? One of the things that bugs me most about eventually dying is not being here. Think of all the things I will be missing. It’s so unfair. That’s why I would go into the future. I want to see what gets invented. Like reading ahead to see how a really good book ends. Only, we assume, there really is no end to this story.

I want to believe in aliens too. It just seems silly to think that of all the stars and all those planets we are the only one capable of supporting life. Quite likely we are arrogant enough to assume all that life is very much like our own, breathing air, washing in water and walking around on land. What if life really was something that would fry our brain cells just trying to understand it.

Other stuff, like the paranormal interests me too. I’d like to think dragons are out there. I don’t believe it but I prefer to keep the possibility open. Why close that door completely if I don’t have to? Ghosts spook me, I do believe I have seen something, had some contacts in that direction. I don’t want to further those kind of contacts. I believe there is a lot we still have to learn about our own human brains and it’s very likely psychic powers are up there floating around in your very own grey matter. We just don’t know how to work it, no one has the instruction manual. Would you actually read it, if you had one?

I wouldn’t. It would kind of spoil it, to know everything and have all the answers too soon. Someday people (or whatever we become) will know the things we only wish we knew. But, we won’t be here. I wonder if there was a woman living a thousand years ago who was sitting doing her laundry one day and thinking, wishing she could take a peek into life a thousand years ahead. I wish she could be here for coffee and chat. It would be quite the conversation.

Today’s babble will probably squick some of the boys/ men, so you have been warned.

It’s a period thing. When I was younger I didn’t notice anything about myself changing at this time of the month. I can’t say the same about the age I am now. Maybe it’s part of upcoming menopause or just the winding down of the female brain in general. I have nothing scientific, just mad science.

But, I have noticed a definite difference in myself in the day(s) before and during that time of the month. In total it’s not quite a week of time. I get a lot more sensitive and I have a big tendency to fall into a deep pit of depression. I’m writing this cause today I really can’t write anything else, I’ve been trying. I feel like my life, all the negative things, are piling in over my head and I’m being left in some hole to dig my way out when I wake up and feel better one day.

Yesterday I woke up and knowing I’m going through a bit of a rough spot I decided I would compile my limited funds and go out for breakfast. That usually cheers me up. At the very least I like the smell of bacon and eggs and when I’m out I don’t have to clean any of it up or get zapped by the bacon as it fries. All good things.

I made the mistake of feeling optimistic enough to look at the dating part of Craigslist. Why do we sabotage ourselves with this swill? I read a post that seemed really sincere, someone else feeling alone in the big city and wishing to meet someone. I was wrong, well sort of. I wrote a note. He replied. I sent another one and that was it. I made the fatal flaw of being honest. You see, men only want porn models, not attractive real women. It doesn’t matter who you are on the inside, only what you are on the outside.

I am sorry I let that one dickhead spoil what I was trying to make of my day. But, it did. I didn’t go out and I spent the day feeling awful and the most I did was wash dishes and make a blog post from a photo I had taken on Sunday. Pathetic. Normally, I would have gotten angry and not been down on myself, life and everything. But, it’s that time of the month and I seem to get sucked into this portal of despression so easily.

I’m glad it is about the last day today. I am pushing myself out the door once I give this a quick spellcheck and post it up.

I know I’m not the only one going through this kind of madness at this time of the month. I never really understood it till now. I’ve always thought it was just part of someone’s outlook in general. But, I’m not a moody person, I am usually optimistic, open and friendly. This is just not me and yet I am having a hard time overcoming it. I’m glad it’s only once a month. Easier to think of it as just 12 times a year, that sounds like a lot less.

Anyway, my sympathy to the other women out there who go through this (or worse) at that time of the month. Don’t do something you will regret later. Try not to email anyone in any heat of the moment. Do your best to pull through cause you know it will only be a few days.

See you later.

In the columnist message boards at BackWash, someone said "Don't you just love the media." They meant it sarcastically in reference to how an interview was handled. But, what they didn't consider is that WE ARE the media.

I think a lot of writers take shots at 'the media' and forget to count themselves among them. Do you? Have you thought of yourself as a writer or publisher or member of the media in general today?

Well you are. Each time you put something out there for the masses to read you become the media. We may not all carry cards saying we are writers or publishers or editors, etc. But, that doesn't mean we aren't just one more member of the media.

Anyway, the discussion in the boards was about how someone was credited in an article. That is something to consider as you write an article using sources for information such as quotes or statistics. Always make sure you know how your contact sources want to be credited and then do your best to see that it comes out that way in print.

On the other hand, when you are the contact, make sure you tell the writer how you want to be credited. Make sure they have your URL along with your other information. Make sure they know it's important for your website to be included as part of identifying you as a source of information for the article.

If it comes out in print you can't do much to change it. You can get them to add it to a future issue but that's not very useful without the rest of the content of the article. However, if it's on the web you can get them to update the HTML or text quite easily, it just takes a moment of their time. So there is one more benefit to writing for online publications.

Well, members of the media, that's it for this week.