This is a rant so get over it.

I am so tired of men who treat me like a disposable camera. They send a few emails back and forth tell me I'm interesting, pretty, etc. Then they just stop, forget I exist, toss me aside like a used book of matches, whatever. What is so wrong with them? Are they just big weenies or are they really that rude/ crass? Why can't they send an email saying they don't think it will work out between us cause... whatever reason. I wouldn't know cause I just get the rubbish treatment. I'm fed up with it. I wish there was a way to know in advance if that was the kind of pathetic loser he was. Then I could just never answer any of his emails, spare myself.

Before you think it... I don't do this to people. This week I sent out two emails saying "thank you, but no" politely and with my reason, usually just that the distance is too much and I don't want to try another long distance relationship having done it (unsuccessfully) at least times already. Why can't men be this courteous? Are they just that obnoxiously rude or are they gutless wonders?

There's my rant, for now. Like it or lick it.

Comments

green eyed kat

{{{{{{laura}}}}}}} I think all men have what I call the "dick gene"..and they can turn it on and off like a switch. Off when they are not a dick..on when they are. I think most of them keep it on the "on" position most of the time.

me

Tickles for you Kat. You're so funny. :)

I wonder what gene they would say we have. Someday, when I find a man with the dick gene in off position, I will ask him.

LABIA.

...and I'm crying. Congratulations.

Kareem at LJ.

Originally published in the S~K issue titled 'The BDSM Issue', 31 January, 2005

Sometimes BDSM is boring.

When you listen to yet another guy listing his fetishes, his turn ons, his kinky requirements, like a grocery list you will be expected to perform. When you read yet another erotica story starring the poor helpless man or the man who fucks everything and has a miracle magic cock that every female wants. When you read another discussion about the finer points of BDSM and the points become so refined they have lost any sharpness they may have had.

Sometimes people just think an idea to death. That's what BDSM is, an idea. It's not a religion, it's just foreplay which requires a little education. It is not about pain. If you bring that idea to it then that's what you have brought to it. It's up to you to wonder why and decide how you want to explore that fetish.

If you explore BDSM you will discover many ideas, attitudes and philosophies. Tell them all to bite you, most of them will like that. Go with what you want and make it how you want it. BDSM is not a religion, it should actually be something more enjoyable than religion. BDSM is for pleasure, that’s all. The only rules are geared to keeping it a pleasure for both (all) involved. Religion is far more complicated than BDSM should ever be.

Some people have the attitude that anyone not involved in a 24/ 7 (round the clock, permanent) BDSM relationship is not really in the scene. Smile kindly at these people and go about enjoying your life, as you were. Would you really and truly want this to be your lifestyle, every day, year after year? Would you not at some point like a day off? Lifestyle BDSM is unrealistic.

One big myth about BDSM is that it has to involve pain. Anyone who believes that has not really examined the concept. Even the initials prove how false this idea is. Bondage and Discipline, Domination and Submission, Sadism and Masochism: do you see pain written all over that? Bondage is about being restrained, tied up, etc. Discipline is often something along the lines of spanking. Domination is about being the dominant partner or being the dominated partner, the submissive. Then there are the Switches who dominate or are dominated, as it suits them. S and M are only the tail end.

No one should hop into BDSM without some idea of what they are getting into. Take it as any other hobby, learn how to make it work, what tools (if any) you require. Make sure your partner is at least interested, if not eager. Think of the whole thing as foreplay, flirtation and seduction. If you want to add pain, bondage, or domination explore those elements.

I've been into BDSM since I was a kid. A lot of people will say that. I think it sounds odd. But, for me I know what I was doing and I can only wonder and image what someone else was thinking or doing. I was reading my Dad's science fiction books and I was daring myself to look at pictures of naked men in the magazine racks at stores. I didn't buy them, not till much later when I was 16. Naked men made me blush and yet, I really didn't see the attraction of the male body, or parts of it. The penis looked dorky, it still does. Reading the term penis envy still makes me think men are must be pretty insecure if not unbalanced. Who would envy that? Breast envy would be more likely.

About us: "The Top 10 Myths about Girl Gamers ? by Mercurial (Original link is gone.)

Girl gamers. Evidently, we?re difficult to figure out. Lucky for you, I?ve compiled this nifty little handbook to give you some hints.

1.) We want to control the entire game... and you. You think we want control of such a rag-tag group of guys? We rather go bobbing for apples in a deep fryer. If we wanted to control you, we would show up at the game with a chair and a whip. Sit and ponder that, friend.

2.) We’re there because you’re there. A girl gamer, a REAL girl gamer, is there because she wants to be. Let me ask you this: Do you think you’re charming enough to make a girl unwillingly spend an entire evening with a bunch of people who get that excited about shooting other people? I thought not.

3.) We make an effort to date every gamer in the group. You got us there. We actually keep lists of the gamers we haven’t dated yet, and we check them off as we go. I got extra Girl Gamer Points (GGPs) because I dated all the eligible guys in our group and then managed to cause a major schism, causing half the people to quit talking to the other half. I traded my GGPs in for some rulebooks and a new game and now I’m on the lookout for new victims… Get real.

4.) We should be in charge of dinner and/or cleanup. The next time you think about saddling the girl gamer with dinner preparations, consider her character first. If she’s playing a bitter extraterrestrial/terrorist type character who hates everyone without provocation and dabbles in torture on the side because it’s fun, it’s probably not a good idea to ask. If her character is primarily engaged in kissing up and crocheting, go ahead. Ask.

5.) We’re only interested in playing sex kittens or innocent ingénue-types. Hello, Pot. I’m Kettle. You’re black. Sure, girl gamers have schticks. So do you, Mr. Lone Wolf… and you, Mr. Combat Monster. And, while we’re at it, let me ask you a question… How many of your characters wear black trench coats? Whose brilliant idea was it to give all the bad-asses black trenches?

6.) We are utterly incapable of understanding the rules. Once, I heard a gamer comment, “Hey, man, she’s a girl. Girls don’t get the rules; it’s like a math thing or something.” Buddy, I’ll out-math you any time… and then I’ll tear you into tiny little pieces and eat you for breakfast. We are quite capable of understanding the rules, if you’d explain them in something that approximates English, or loosen your death-hold on the rulebook and just let us read them for ourselves.

7.) We flutter our eyelashes at GMs to get our way. I did that once. The GM very politely gave me what I wanted and, then, I realized I didn’t want it after all (because, as we all know, a good GM gives you what you want and then makes you regret having ever asked). The end result was that I had to extract my foot from my mouth. If you let girl gamers walk all over you as a player or a GM, more fool you. You need to get out and date more, friend

8,) We hate other girl gamers. Well, sure! Why not? After all, other girl gamers might hog all the GGPs and then we’d be out some valuable prizes. We have to protect our territory, after all. Get real. If a true girl gamer can’t stand another girl in your group, it’s either a personal thing or maybe that girl is one of those fake, scheming, break-up-the-group types.

9.) We don’t appreciate a good combat. Correction: We do appreciate a good combat. What we don’t do is a) get sexually aroused over it or b) spend hours upon hours memorizing the caliber and number of shots for a revolver that was last used with regularity in the 1950s. We’ve got better things to do than memorize gun statistics. Like planning out how to spend out GGPs, for instance.

10.) Because we are girls, you cannot hope to understand anything about us, including our role-playing. Well… maybe there’s a bit of truth in that one, after all.

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they just take the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.......

The apples at the top think that something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Passed along from Jewel, editor of the Sex-Kitten.net