Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Saturday January 31, 2004

"You are a Creative Lover - You aren't obsessed with excitement but enjoy trying new things. You understand that a healthy sex life needs to include some variety, and are secure enough to allow yourself to delve into the unfamiliar. Even when some practices are beyond your realm, you aren't scared or disgusted by those things that others consider pleasurable. Continue to explore your boundaries, and take pleasure in the knowledge that you have achieved a healthy balance in the bedroom -- something that your lover probably takes pleasure in as well! "

The above came from one of those quiz things - "Are you a Boring Lover?" which I found through LonelyHousewife's journal on BackWash.

Why do they assume men are good lovers, or eager lovers? If you read the results of the quiz you get the idea that my lover is a randy stud muffin. Well, he doesn't even exist at the moment. But, aside from that, my past lover was no randy stud muffin. He wasn't all that keen on sex and didn't really want to try new things.

So why do we let them talk to us like that? As if all the inhibitions are on our side. It's not women who are trembling flowers in the bedroom, not in every case. So give us a break!

How can we feel natural about enjoying sex if we keep getting pushed into thinking we should be inhibited and wait for the man to start things. If we waited for him to start things over population would not even be an issue. At least that's what I've found. Your situation may be different. But, I haven't found that many men who really are randy stud muffins. Many of them will do all the talk, keep the porn collections they seem to think they must have but few are really all that sexual when it comes to the reality.

Does he talk about how much he likes to cuddle, spoon in bed and etc. Yes, that's nice. But, that's for after the sex, not the whole show. Sure, some cuddling foreplay might be ok. But, really, before the show starts wouldn't you rather be doing something a bit more energetic and interesting? Maybe you like a little intermission to make it last longer. I wouldn't go into cuddle mode then either.

Anyway, that's my thing about men being sexual animals full of lust. They aren't. If you really want a guaranteed sex maniac try the zoo... or maybe not. They might arrest you for some of those kinkier things. Anyway, have fun and allow yourself to like sex. So what if he's a wet blanket. You've always got your orgasm under fingertip control.

The best quotes are those that dazzle and enlighten with one sentence. That quick one two punch that leaves you thinking. Quotes wandering along into two, three or more sentences loose their power. You have to read them and think as you're reading. It spoils the effect.

Condensing your sentences, your whole essay, story, whatever you're working on, will also give it more power. Short sentences get noticed. Long winding sentences wandering around to make their point tend to blend into the wood work and take longer to be absorbed. See the difference?

When you're writing an article draw the reader in using content and focus. Content being the subject. Focus is making the subject clear and important or interesting enough to be read. You can get someone to read about bug spray if you write it right. Tell them something new. Don't muddle the idea. Use short sentences like a trail of bread crumbs. Keep your wordage uncomplicated too. Don't load them down with dictionary words they'll have to stop and think about.

Later, when they're into your subject and you've given them questions they want answered, you can bring on the longer sentences and the more detailed information. First the focus and then the heavy duty content. At the end you give them closure of some kind.

Not so different from a quote. Think about that next time you're writing. What was the last really great quote you read and why did you like it? Maybe your eye was drawn to it because it was one simple sentence. Possibly one word had some personal appeal to you or perked your curiousity, so you read it. When you rewrite see if you can shorten a few sentences, yank their chains and make them stand up and take notice. Check for extra words just hanging around not adding to the focus or the content. If you want to be read think about what gets read.

HippieGrrl is keeping a quotations journal in the Modern Bohemia community. Go take a look and send her your favourites. http://www.backwash.com/community_content.php?id=48

This quote came from a website: "Not a single word or idea is too good to be deleted, changed, or improved." Abby Goldsmith. You can find her site in my current BW column.

Someone is calling your name. He's tall and strong and lively. He wears a suit by day and comfortable overalls by night. His hair is dark and curly and his eyes sparkle as he laughs. He's calling your name but you can't quite hear him. He's just too far away.

Someday you'll find him. He's been looking for you just as you've been looking for him. He'd love to find you, to reach out and touch you. He wants to wrap you in his life and hold you there forever. He's longing for the day you will finally hear him calling your name.

Somewhere along the path you're taking is the path he's taking. The two of you will bump into each other. You'll look up, see him and smile. He'll call you once more just to see if you'll answer. When you do the two of you will walk that path together.

Sometimes his voice seems faint, maybe it gets carried away in the wind. There are days when you think you won't ever find him and he thinks the same way too. But, as long as he's out there, still calling, you'll know you have to keep listening, looking and walking in his direction. It's only fair for you to keep listening while he's still calling.

Some things will block out his voice and step in the way of your path. Just get around them or ease them aside. Make your life good and full but don't put time into petty things that will just take up your time. Don't look back. Keep walking, keep listening for him calling and you'll get there, one day at a time.

Someone is calling your name, can you hear him yet?

I wrote this for the ScribbeFest which starts February 3rd at BackWash. But, I didn't like it enough to leave it up for the Fest. So, here it is. I thought someone should read it, besides me.

People may think there is nothing uniquely Canadian when it comes to recipes. Of course there is and I'm not just writing about Smarties, Clamato and those other famous brands. Definitely not what has become known as Canadian back bacon either. That's something that seems to be started by Americans. Back bacon has been around a long time and it's not just a Canadian thing.

Anyway, for those who want to cook up something Canadian here are two recipes. The first is from online and the second is from my sister.

Original Canadian Tourtiere - Yield: 6 Servings

1/2 lb Ground pork 1/2 lb Ground veal 1/3 c Chopped onion 1/3 c Water 1/4 ts White pepper 1 ts Salt 1/4 ts Ground cloves 1/4 ts Cinnamon 1/4 ts Celery salt 1/4 ts Savory 1 To 2 potatoes,boiled and -mashed 1 Pastry for 8" double-crust -pie

Preheat oven to 425F. Place pork, veal, onion and water in a saucepan. Simmer until colour changes. Adding seasonings; simmer for a little longer. Thoroughly drain meat. Mix in mashed potatoes. Fit bottom pastry into 8" pie plate. Fill with meat mixture. Cover with top crust. Seal edges as desired and vent top to allow steam to escape. Bake for 10 minutes; lower oven temperature to 400F and bake for 20 to 25 minutes or until crust is golden brown and filling is hot. Serves 6 Note: If you prefer a spicier tourtiere increase seasonings to your taste.

Nainaimo Bars - Yield: 24

1/2 cup butter 1/2 cup white sugar 1 egg 4 tbsp cocoa powder 2 cup Graham wafer crumbs 1 cup coconut 1/2 cup nuts, chopped 1/4 cup butter 3 tbsp milk 2 tbsp vanilla custard powder (or pudding powder) 2 cups Icing sugar 4 squares of chocolate (semi-sweet) 1 tsp butter

Mix the 1/2 cup butter, sugar, egg and cocoa. Set over boiling water and stir until mixture resembles custard. Combine crumbs, coconut and nuts. Combine with the butter/sugar mixture, blend well. Spread and press into a 9x9 inch pan. Cream the 1/4 cup butter, milk, custard powder and icing sugar. Spread over mixture in pan. Melt chocolate over hot water: add butter and blend well. Spread over the icing. Let set. Chill and keep refrigerated.

Originally posted to Adult BackWash: Monday January 26, 2004  

You should have slapped him, you should have smacked him, you should have.... It's circling round and round in my mind like water going down the drain. I can hear it gurgle.

What would you do if a man kissed you and you didn't want it? You can't give a kiss back. Though it would be interesting to come up with the correct polite protocol. Returning kisses is usually something quite different and much more romantic and desirable.

In my case I didn't bitch slap him. But, I think (and I have been thinking about it) that I did just right. Maybe not perfectly right but I did fine. I was uncomfortable and yet curious too. I'm not someone who gets picked up by men, I seldom get noticed in fact. The whole thing was like being offered a chance to live someone else's life for a short time. It was interesting, it's still interesting.

I didn't ask to be picked up. I didn't do anything to encourage him other than sit and talk. I did ask for him to stop when he began kissing me. I did give him a push away. But I did not put myself at risk by doing something as stupid as slapping a man I don't know and can't predict. I was alone in the parking lot, there was no one else around. I don't even know anyone in that town. My closest family and friends are a two hour drive away.

In my life I've been hit by two men. However, I have never hit a man. I can't think of anyone I've hit but for the time I spanked my nephew when he terrified me by running out into traffic.

The experience of being hit by a man is alarming and terribly frightening. His face gets ugly, like a nightmare mask. His eyes bug out, his voice rises and he grabs your body as if it were a cat's chew toy. You have no control at that point. You just wait for it to be over so you can pick up your pieces and leave while he's not ranting.

So, for those who think I should have slapped him (and there were a few of you) I think you need to watch less TV. It's all fine to go around hitting and slapping people when you're following a script but in real life things are different. I don't intend to become violent or have someone else become violent with my person. It's not fun and it's not sexy. Really, it's a hell of an experience.

I don't think I should have slapped him. I'm really glad that I kept my head and drove myself away. I watched in my rearview mirror all the way home in case he had followed me. One good thing about having such a long drive was that I was sure I was alone by the time I got off the first big road.