I don’t hear from John very often any more. But I still send him an email a couple of times a week. This was part of an email I sent tonight. Judge me however you will. But, now you know the secret.
Tomorrow night I have a date with a married man. Just dinner and
conversation. I told my Mom he just wants a friend and in part he
does. I want companionship and intimacy to some degree. I want a
conversation where someone isn’t henpecking at me and making me feel
totally inadequate. I don’t know if I will see him again after
tomorrow night. It’s a complete blank page. I don’t want to ‘date’ a
married man. It’s not the direction I want to take. I set out to find
someone as single as I am. Most of the single men are only interested
in sex and not me. It’s very discouraging to have them ask whether I’m
shaved or not versus what books I like to read. I stopped answering
all the ads and the replies to my posts cause it just became too much.
I’m not sure what I really expect from this date. A lot of things are going on in my mind. We have some interests in common and he seems like a guy I could really enjoy spending time with. Yet, getting attached to him, beyond a certain level, would not be a good thing. It will be interesting.
Don’t leave comments with high moral fibre. I already know all the reasons a good girl wouldn’t date a married man. It’s yet one more of those things I said I’d never do. So often it’s those ‘never’ things that come back and bite you in the butt.