BackWash Column

This is my latest BackWash column. I think it turned out well.

The Shortness of Being

“Don’t sell yourself short.”

That is what a couple of the other managers at HerPlanet told me last night when we had our meeting over the Net. We were talking about how we all have some knowledge and together we pool that and make each of our sites and ourselves better. I agreed with that but then I commented something about how I don’t have anything out of the ordinary to contribute. That is when they chimed in with “don’t sell yourself short”.

I was thinking about it tonight. I always assume anything I know is common knowledge. But, it’s true that I know a bit about a lot of things and I don’t know a lot about anything, any one thing. At least that’s how I feel maybe I’m wrong and I’m just selling myself short again.

Could it be that simple? I’ve felt for a long time that I’m looking for a missing piece of the puzzle that is me and when I find it I will become some sort of wonder woman. A woman who can do it all, have it all and be it all. Oh no, I don’t have overly high expectations at all…

Anyway, I always feel like I am struggling to catch up, that I am a fraud, hoping no one will realize all the errors of my ways, the holes in my plans, the missing link that is me. If I’m just selling myself short… then all I need to do is be contrary at how I look at myself, twist it and turn it around and look at myself in a whole new way. I love that, finding a new viewpoint, a different slant on an idea, a turn of logic and the unexpected. When someone says I’m “odd, but in a nice way” that makes my day.

Back to the short comings thing. If all I need to do is realize I’m selling myself short then how do I convince myself it’s true and move on to the next step from there. Someone else told me I have a great mind. Another person said I’m wonderfully warped. If I pile all those together would that give me the height I’m lacking in the way I look at myself? I don’t think so. Though they help, I still need to change my outlook from the inside out, not the other way around.

So, back to the drawing board. But, I feel I have grown a bit in my own estimation. Like Alice I have to find the ‘drink me’ potion to fit through the little door on my way to Wonderland.

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