It is a good idea to be friendly when there are dragons around.
My name is Laura. I was born in the year of the dragon, more than 50 years ago, in a large city in Ontario, Canada. I’ve been online since 1996, mostly meeting people in IRC. Later I began making ASCII art. I’ve published with and for various online publications and networks.
I don’t know why anyone would want to read about my early years, my education, my career and all that stuff. My Daddy wasn’t very nice to me. I attended Centennial College at the Warden Woods campus, the building has since been demolished. That’s a far more interesting fact than anything else here, in my opinion. It’s eerie to remember walking through those hallways knowing they no longer exist. Since not quite graduating college (I was working as well and ran out of money to support both college and my apartment) I have worked in factories, stores (cashier and customer service) and technical support. I have also built and maintained all my own websites while never quite learning enough HTML (in my opinion, few people making websites for other people really know enough, or much).
Now I should tell you my biggest failures and achievements. I failed to have children, I would have liked one to five of them. I had my fortune read once and I was supposed to have five children. Where did they end up? Just never born? Kind of gruesome to tell you where I really think they ended up. There are so many things people don’t want to hear these days. Their tender little ears, their over sensitivity to everything. While ignoring things that matter. Have you ever read the story of The Emperor’s New Clothes? Biggest achievements? How can I know, I’m not dead yet.
Do I sound mean? I’m not. I’ve always been very nice, kind, sweet, and have looked after other people a lot in my life. I don’t like it. Being nice means you end up doing things you don’t want to do, quite often. But, it does not mean you are stupid or a door mat. It also does not mean you get rewarded for it. A thanks is nice but I’m kind of past that too. When I am nice it is by my choice, not because I’m not smart enough to make some other choice.
The guide to writing your About page, which I have been following along with as I write this, says I should add social testimonials and proof now. I’m sorry but that’s just not going to happen. I am not one of those bushy tailed young people selling stuff or making videos and podcasts online. No, my life is more like a modern fairytale. I always felt one of the worst things was to end up looking after other people and not really have a life of your own. How did this happen to me? But, it has. I did get married. I’m divorced, not a spinster. I’m the oldest of my siblings and I look after my Mother. She doesn’t need a lot of help and she isn’t senile or anything like that. Mostly she wants company and I’m an introvert with delusions of being the only person left on the planet. I’ve even picked out where I would live and planned how I would grow my own food and everything. Alone.
I tried to be a writer, horror, science fiction, mysteries and non-fiction too. I like photographing old houses, old buildings and things. I don’t especially like organizing them, writing about them or sharing them. Taking the photographs is the part I like. The rest feels like an obligation. I make ASCII art. I wish I could get over this version of myself and make more of it. I used to draw stick figure cartoons which a few people (not related to me even) thought were good.
These days I’ve kind of given up on everything. If you one day say, or think, “it doesn’t matter”, know it is an unending sinkhole. If one thing doesn’t matter where does it end? Does anything matter? Does a thing matter?
I don’t want to write any more about myself. I used to be much more optimistic. I wonder if that will ever come back. Maybe this is just what happens to dragons as we get older.