Enough to Make you Want to Crawl Back into your Little Hole and.. Whimper

I am… being crushed under paperwork. Help! Help! squeak

What percentage of my Net worth am I willing to risk?

Net worth?… Do I have a net worth? Somehow I don’t think so. Oh well then, risk it all! May as well go for broke on this puppy.

Do I have a high energy level?

You mean like, right now? Or can I answer that at about 8:00 tomorrow morning?

Am I a self starter?

Well, seeing as I’m alone here, I think the options are limited to self starting or just not starting at all.

Can I find and recruit personnel who have the skills I lack?

Hahaha!!! Silly paperwork people, as IF… I lack no skills. Whatever I lack was never very important anyway. Just like fixing a watch, you get rid of those extra odd parts as you go along… what were they ever there for anyway?

Do I plan and think ahead?

Actually, I kind of like to start from behind, that way no one ever sees you coming. Surprise the daylights out of them when I’m suddenly just THERE.

Alright, enough fun.

Here are the biggies I have to work on. These are the questions that really make me want to crawl away quietly. But, I’m not. Notice… I’m still here. I just put on a disguise to fool everyone.

Is your product or service in demand and what proof do you have of this demand? Summarize the results of the market research you have done. What opportunities did you find for this business idea?

It’s really easy to summarize my market research at this point. Somehow I don’t think “people think it’s a good idea” will work here.

What features make your product or service unique? What are the benefits to the customer?

Oh pleeeeeaase… isn’t that obvious?!! Me! I am unique and just the honour of being served by me in any small way is a benefit in itself!

What competition, direct and indirect, do you have for the products or services you intend to sell? How are people currently fulfilling the need you propose to fill? Please be specific.

It’s only because I could see how badly I am needed that I started this whole thing. People need me, they just… need me. I’d say more, but I don’t want to get all sentimental and weepy.

What price will you charge and how did you arrive at that price?

It can’t be free. I did consider doing this as a non-profit but there was way too much paperwork. I’ve read about some web designers charging thousands of dollars but I intend to be affordable, no frills and friendly. But, at this point I have no freaking idea about what I will charge. It will be something and it will be worth it.

How will you promote your business? (Remember to include costs in your projected income and expenses).

Actually, I LOVE this question. The rest are scaring me spitless but this one, I just LOVE it! I have endless ideas for self promotion, most free or really cheap. I won’t post them here. I want to keep those ideas tucked away in my cleavage where no one can borrow them.

In your industry, what specific legistlation, regulations, trade requirements, association requirements, legal requirements such as bonding, police checks or other qualifications affect your business?

Just tell them all to leave me alone. Really, just pick on someone else. Can’t a grrl have a little break? Go bug someone else.

What insurance do you require? What level of coverage do you require?

Again… really… go pick on someone who has money.

There are other questions but I have those covered, pretty much. The ones above are the biggies I need to work on this week.

After that there are the really sicko biggie questions about my personal finances, projected growth (and they don’t mean anything like warts), payment terms, cash flow issues, competition analysis, customer analysis, (did you notice how both those words have anal in them, I did), equity worksheet and my personal favourite… 12 month projected sales and expenses. I really need that time machine now.

I am not hyper panicking. I’m just not very mellow at the moment. But, I can do this. It’s not like the paper is going to take on a life of it’s own and suddenly swarm me, swallowing me whole, never to be seen again.

Well… please be kind and recycle me, at least.

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